I’m 13 watching Supernatural. I’m still figuring myself out. I see Charlie Bradbury. A lesbian ray of sunshine, a queer woman who brings light into my little closeted lesbian world. I see her die and it hurts like a knife.
I’m 15 watching Steven Universe. The pronoun “they” still feels foreign for myself but in a good way. I see Stevonnie. The fusion of a beautiful friendship, respected by all around them. They give me hope.
I’m 16 watching Voltron. I don’t know what I am or who I like. I hear news of Shiro being gay during class and leave to go cry. “He’s like me” I manage to say to my friend through tears. His fiancé gets killed off and he’s only allowed to show his affection towards another man in the last frame of the show.
I’m 17 watching Rise. I know I am trans. I see Michael Hallowell. A young trans theatre kid played by a trans actor. It’s the first time i’ve seen something like that. He gives me hope.
I’m 19 watching Supernatural. I know who I am. I see Castiel. The angel I remember from middle school. He says he loves Dean Winchester and my bisexual heart soars. I see him die and it hurts like a knife.
I’m 20 watching Loki. I am tired. I see Loki Laufeyson. Genderfluid and bisexual in all their glory. Well “glory” if you include some blink and you’ll miss it moments. They end up in a relationship with a female version of themself before there’s even consideration of them having a boyfriend. I am tired.
