#midlife cry

[hicapacity]

Minden videóm egy videóban Ezt NE nézzétek meg, mert visítva, vinnyogva, törvénytelenül fogtok röhögni, és megorrolnak a szomszédok! :)

[theoriginal-maijean]

Grieving at the moment.

The young girl I was. A silly little bunny rabbit that believed in the moon. Wondering if her person was also seeing the same moon she is. I’m grieving the loss of that belief, that hope, that sureness that seemed steeped in my bones only for me to extract it in the most painful way. Not because I hated it. But it was the only way I knew to survive. Betrayal after betrayal, rejection and humiliation. The too much and the never enough, the not good enough. I had to rewrite that belief, that hope so that I wouldn’t die. Because that’s what it felt like. Dying. Over and over again. Now I have heart trouble quite literally 😂. Too much pressure for my poor heart to handle. My beautiful heart that loves so easily and lets go with such great difficulty. Even when the person in question did not deserve my tears, my heart break. Disentangling things and thoughts. You know I’ve never even contemplated a relationship again in almost 20 years. Time has flown. Life is long and I am lost and found and in need of a shroom trip if I wasn’t on autism meds. 🥸