#migrane

[kororobus]

aura

[fellow-queer-birdguy]

I really wish tumblr had an accessibility feature where you would be able to 'limit' colors.

For example: I click on someone's blog and it happens to have a bright color theme that can cause me a migrane. I wish there was some kind of warning or filter I could use to not have the colors show up so bright.

Of course people should be allowed to have whatever theme they want, I just wish Tumblr had more accessibility features.

[clairaworlds]

Pro tip if you have light sensitive migranes:

Ware eyeliner, I'm serious, ware dark colored eyeliner or some other dark color arround your eyes. I go with a fairly heavy look, applied liberally with wings that could take off, or some other extra details for fun. It reduces the glare from the sun, and ive found it makes the sun bother me less when I have an ocular migrane.

It dosnt do a whole lot, and if you don't already ware eyeliner it might be too much effort for the effect, but I started waring eyliner more often recently and I have noticed a difference. It might be becuase I'm the most insanly light sensitive person I've ever met so even a SMALL reduction in glare makes a big difference but it's worth a shot.

[sunkissedliterarylightofchrist]

Top 10 TØP songs?

Bless you for asking this question I am giddy over here with my little laptop and headphones and many thoughts.

SO PREPARE FOR A VERY LONG RAMBLE LADIES AND GENTLEMEN

Cuz its Twenty One Pilots we're talking about here.

10 - Vignette

This song took a while to click for me but WHEN IT DID it was AWESOME. The first few times I listened to it I was like uhmmmm what???? Why have you become a zombie??? Isn't that the antithesis of Heavydirtysoul??? And I even read a few breakdowns of it but it still made 0 sense to me until it came on while brushing my teeth one night and all of a sudden I went OOOOOOOOOH I GET IT NOW. I love lightbulb moments like that.

And now I really love this song. It has a lot of call-backs to previous songs. The whole 'in the woods' part reminds me of Trees. Zombie imagery comes from Heavydirtysoul. And flesh from Holding Onto You. And the two natures at war with each other could be from like, a bunch of their songs, but I like how its done in Polarize specifically. BUT, in all of these songs, its a far more 'looking to the light' message and especially ending, (which could be a tad nit-picky, not every chapter in a story should have a 'happy' ending, that could even make it really unrealistic, but just something to note because then THE POINT OF A STORY OF DARKNESS FROM A BIBLICAL WORLDVIEW SHOULD BE THEN TO END WITH THE LIGHT OF CHRIST AND THE FACT THAT THIS SONG IS SO FAMILIAR BUT DARKER AND ALMOST A STEP BACKWARDS MAKES SENSE AND I RELATE TO IT BUT IT STILL HURTS BECAUSE OF TYLER'S STORY, MAN IM GOING INSANE-)

*deep breath* maybe I should not get so carried away.

'Not sure when it started' oof yeah man ouch I get that. Corruption creeping up on and we don't even realize its there, or only get an inkling of it, until it consumes our entire being? Darkness creeping in until we're swallowed by the vignette that used to be in our periphery? (oh look Oldies Station reference I should get a good grade in twenty one pilots analyzer) Holding yourself together until you can't because that's not how we're made to be, we're made to rely God and fellow believers but you're so caught up in the darkness you can't? Trying to fix your circumstances and yourself in a way that no one else will notice, cracks in the battle between your flesh and the spirit, trying to test and figure things out on your own, denying that its you who needs help and playing it off as cool when its not? Ouch. You're a zombie who's still trying to cling to promises without being able to cut to the root of the issue. Rough stuff. Espeically if you thought this would never happen, and that you 'should' be better by now.

Hurts my soul but I get it and its good and I do like it. Obviously, its in the Top Ten. To be fair, this one probably could be higher. It definitely deserves to be on the Top Ten. But I'm more personally attached to the other ones, that's why it's here.

9 - Tear in My Heart

This song. This sonnggggggg. Gah feels.

I love how the concept of this song is that love forces you to grow and it hurts. If someone actually loves you, whether family love or romantic or platonic, they should be (gently) pointing out your flaws and mistakes and areas of weakness and encouraging you to grow and change past them.

And if that doesn't work, they've gotta kinda have a head on confrontation and beat your flaws out of you and shove a mirror in your face to get you out of the numbness so you realize what's wrong and then want to change for them. And it all comes from a place of love, even if, and especially because it hurts, because if you love someone you WANT to see them grow. It's just like a parent and their child. Sometimes spanking them is far more loving than just saying nice words.

not to mention I may or may not have used this particular aspect of the song to describe an entire characters arc in my fic bc its special to me

But that line, 'She's a butcher with a smile, Cut me farther than I've ever been' has a LOT of context. Butchering is messy. It's graphic, and can be extremely dangerous if you're butchering something big like a cow that with one kick could kill you. So calling his wife a butcher with a smile is so cool and very intentional, because taking an animal's life out of nessecity in order to feed yourself is just like having to push someone to work through their flaws and issues, out of nessecity of love for that person. And she's smiling because while the work is messy and hard and sometimes dangerous, she's hopeful and knows that it's best for Tyler.

After the animal has died and bled out, and you've skinned or plucked it, and quartered it to bring it on a work surface to piece everything out, is that you have to be very careful and very intentional and you have to know the animal's anatomy extremely well and know your way around sharp tools, because they can also hurt you. So first she had to get to know Tyler, to understand how he worked and what drove him, and everything about him, before she could go to the work of helping him beat Blurryface. And then she had to be very careful about how she did it, because one slip up, one prick of the intestines or one too-eager cut could either ruin the entire project or could slice your hand and permanently damage it.

There is SO MUCH depth behind those three words, it's absolutely insane how perfectly he does things like this.

Y'know what else's great? That part where he curses the government as a way to say 'I love you'. It's just so funny. Also, that line 'The songs on the radio are okay/But my taste in music is your face'? HELLO??? IT'S SO CUTE!!!!!!! *screams into pillow* And the upbeat instrumentals just put the cherry on top of making this song so adorable.

Not to mention that I think Tear in My Heart is my favorite of the Blurryface music videos. Now, most of the time in music, I don't care about music videos. But this is Twenty One Pilots and I am legally obligated to talk about them at least a little whenever I get the chance.

~The Blurryface paint~ Very Iconic. Best part of it is how for most of the song its super thick and super obvious, but by the time she's done beating him up, its faded a lot and while still there, doesn't feel powerful anymore. So really cool.

the ACTING I love it. His face the entire song as he singing at people, screaming at them, trying to connect with him, but it never works and he looks confused and disappointed??? I love it. And even better I love how Jenna beats him up its the best.

This song just HAD to make it on the list because of how much I love it. I probably 'fangirl' over this one the most. The only reason its so far down is because I'm just more personally emotionally attached to the higher songs in the sense of relatability.

8 - Polarize

THIS SONG ARGH

Two natures: flesh and spirit. Christian battle. War from the moment we start to think about morality and life and purpose which leads us to Christ, until the moment we die. We need help, God's help, to seperate our two natures, to take us as far away from our sin as the east is from the west, so we can be in His presence and experience the redemption that Jesus did with His death on the cross, which has brought us our freedom. And especially wanting to be a better advesary to the own evil and hurt and terribleness that you yourself cause, since our two natures are so intertwined and need help to be sorted out and fixed. Need Jesus' help to kill the sin within us.

Yeah, constantly wanting to be a better brother/son (or daughter/sister) hits. And so does the losing your halo and being lost, needing Him to come find you because you can't claw your way back to Him on your own. Because we, in and of ourselves, are puny. Everything good that we do is 100% God, working in, through, around, or in spite of us. AND, in the context of the album as a whole, its where Tyler goes from trying to get back to God on his own -> allowing God to do the heavy lifting. Which is a reminder I need, all the time.

It's #8 because while I love what this song talks about and how, in my opinion, it doesn't do as great of a job as my favorite song creature does, so its down here.

7 - Semi-Automatic

👏The👏Human👏Condition👏Right👏Here👏 Especially with a focus on the 'our flesh is terrible' part.

I love how he goes, "Yeah, I am Messed Up. And my flesh likes being messed up. My soul is revolted by it though, and I need Hope and Sun to shun my darkness out.' Spirit is at war within us. Like the damage we do while also despising it. Rough deal.

BUT THEN HOPE! 'Hope is never meager, even when it is mere'. And it might leave, or that might just be our perception of the darkness. Maybe it, and He, is a whole lot closer than we think when we're caught up in the darkness of the night.

And the instrumentals??? Love da dark bass, da 'stepping' sound of his voice, da piano, effects, all of it. The opening is the best, with the synthy stuff with the beat drop and then Tyler's vocals sounding like a punch. I love how he teases tension along the whole time. And the do-do's make me very happy.

#7 because it describes a whole lot of my problems and how terrible of a person I am apart from Christ, which is why I need Him so much, we all do.

6 - Not Today

I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH.

He's exposed Blurryface now, exposed him, taken him out of his mind, and forced the light in, allowing himself to be seen as who he is without Blurryface controlling him. This is the song where he's really taking action and being like, "You have an eviction notice my evil dude, get out." And then he's also once again touching on something that the entire album is about, getting your insecurities on the outside. Which I think is such an excellent and important messege.

With insecurities (and habitual sin, if you wanna go there, which I do), the best weapon you have to defeat it is to get it out of your head, so that you can see it more clearly, and then allow others who are close to you to help you in fighting it too. Which is the only way I've ever been able to defeat insecurity and habitual sin, is by exposing it and telling people I loved and trusted about it, so that they could encourage me and help me fight it, as well as hold me accountable for it and when it starts to win again, not to mention also be like Tear in My Heart ideas.

Love the battle moments of 'This is a contradiction, sounds happy but its not' and 'Don't test me because of piano [an insecurity probably, I mean he was self-taught and all, and is always talking about feeling at a loss with the music industry], I can still take you down, oof but sorry I got aggressive there'. Again with the duality, its great. BUT, the duality no longer controls him because he's exposed it.

I think some of his best singing in this song right here. As always, Josh kills the drums, piano rocks, love the claps and everything.

#6 because its amazing! Love love love it. Not a single bad thing about this song I don't think, certainly not one I dislike. This is just where it gets REAL and everything is close now 😂

5 - Migrane

Oh look, the song where Tyler took a selfie with me before I even knew this was a thing and that I would later struggle with it.

I love how the intro asks the question that I have found that 99% of teenagers think- 'Am I the only one I know who is struggling with this?' It's one of the biggest lies for the teenage age group that Satan throws at them. It sure worked on me. Maybe still does a bit. By thinking I was the only one who'd ever felt Like That, I thought that no one could ever possibly understand me, so I never bothered to talk about it and instead just silently wallowed in my misery and was really selfish about myself and my emotions.

Also I just love that part where he screams 'I AM NOT AS FINE AS I SEEM!!!!' then quietly goes 'pardon' because its both funny and very true. Masks. Too good at them and too comfortable with them. Apologetic in even admitting them. And then he goes on to elaborate how terrible and dark his mind is, then says one of my favorite lines ever, 'Cause sometimes to stay alive you gotta kill your mind' Which is so true and so well said. A lot of us really do need to learn how to tell our thoughts to simply Shut Up. Kill the darkness, kill the sin, give it up to God, expose it and get it out to get out of the dark thoughts, knowing that life is actually beautiful and hopeful even in the midst of the terribleness. And then the song ends on the best note ever. 'That life has a hopeful undertone.../We've made it this far kid'

One of their best songs ever, also love how the intro of synth vocals call attention to what he's saying, before it then plunges into the rest of the song. #5 because the musical background and rapping of Heavydirtysoul squeaks through by the skin of its teeth.

4 - Heavydirtysoul

Do I even need to elaborate its Heavyditrysoul for crying out loud.

But I will :)

The rapping is utterly brilliant, trying to get the dark voices out of his head. My favorite Tyler rapping ever, its just so iconic and for good reason. Infested by sin, by darkness, clutter that can only come out if you firehose it with your voice to get it out, then getting cut through it, his pleading singing of begging God to save Him? Incredible.

THEN ZOMBIES. It's so true what people do and say and pressure other people to do and say when they aren't even really living themselves! Living out life mindlessly, stuck in the monotony of the past, maybe having vague feelings of something 'greater' but not actually doing anything about it, or finding a slim satisfaction that's actually just lies in a false thing that you rest in because its comfortable and okay and doesn't challenge you. Zombies.

Then death. Struggling with the idea of life and ending it, while also beign terrified of it actually happening. He knows and understands morality and is scared shirtless that he won't make enough of his life, because how can you unless you're doing God's will, and NEEDS God to save his Heavydirtysoul to make something out of nothing and all the pain worth it and to keep him alive. Iconic and perfect.

And then the i n s t r u m e n t a l s??? Insanely incredible. The frantic beat and killer drums and gunshots that get the entire thing started? SO GOOD! Everything about it is cool, and the way that they were able to mesh all of those sounds together was quite the epic feat, this song is genius.

And the music video was also awesome, because it has so much depth to it, but mainly because at the time, it was the kickstart of the Clancy storyline and nobody knew it yet! That was probably a pretty cool experience I imagine. 

This one should be #3. It really should. I should be objective here and make it #3. But I can't, I just can't, My Blood means too much to me and I love it too much.

3 - My Blood

The narrator (Tyler) here is just describing the predicament of the person he's talking to. This guy has been abandonded by his friends and deserted him, but Tyler is still gonna stick with him through it.

Now Tyler's friend is stuck, and Tyler's gonna come out bat swinging here, defending his friend, and encouraging him to defend himself as well. The friend is relying to Tyler, and Tyler is trying to help him to take what Tyler has taught him and apply it to himself as well- and not in a hands off way where the friend is left to his own devices, but where Tyler is in the thick of it right with him, not leaving him like everyone else has.

Tyler is ready to throw hands for anyone who's looking to hurt his friend. He is so utterly protective of his friend, allowing him to make his own desicions, but still being there to protect him if and when everything goes wrong.

And of course, the ever occuring, Stay with me/No, you don't need to run. And the fact that he repeats I'll go with you a gazillion times means so much. The absolute biggest point of this song is that no matter what, Tyler and his friend are in it until the end. I'll go with you in the darkness and the shadows. I'll go with you no matter what monsters are lying in wait for us. I'll go with you and have your back and protect and defend you. I'll go with you and you can trust in me. I'll go with you no matter what it takes.

Don't you see it? How impeccable the self-scarifice for your family is in here. Whether by blood in relation, or by blood in something greater... Christ. And if there's anything we're called to do, its to fight for our blood.

And I adore the sound. I honestly can't even describe why outside of the bass, but I just love it. Oh also the music video makes me bawl every single time without fail. Like I just watched it, and now I'm crying, and have to go take a sec before I write the last bit.

It's #3 because I feel this and crave this so hard. Consequences of being raised a pastor's kid and kicked to the curb and spat on and betrayed and hurt a bunch I guess. But, what makes the concept of loyalty so beautiful in general, but especially to me, is that the goodness of a human relationship that has loyalty, is that its just a reflection of God's loyalty to us. Even in the most perfect and beautiful God-honoring marriages or friendships, its but a shadow of what God has for us. And God's loyalty is enough.

But now maybe, just maybe, He's given me a friend for a relationship like this song, which has hit me in the feels since the first time I heard it, but I've craved the feeling of this song for so long, but now I'm REALLY sobbing thinking that this prayer for someone like this I've had for my entire life has been answered. Holy cannoli God is good wow I'm thankful. I'm going to pass out.

Loyalty and unconditional love man. 'Tis overwhelming.

2 - Addict With A Pen

ROMANS 7 BABYYYYYYY go read it please. The entire chapter. And Romans 6 and 8 which open and close that. Actually, just read the entire book of Romans please and thank you.

Haven't been the best of sons. Yep. Which is our own fault if we've been avoiding Him. Because of sin and guilt. Which is dumb because Jesus took care of that, was perfect and took our sins upon Himself becasue we never could, but we've got to realize that first, blockheads that we are, and yeah this song goes through that beautifully. And then also if we HAVE been trying to be a good son or daughter but still don't feel good enough, standard-of-perfection-that-we-can-never-reach-so-Jesus-did still applies.

And without Him our brains are dead. Our soul is parched we're rebellious flesh, children of the Devil, utterly evil. So when you do live in sin, or ignore God, or whatever else, you're leaning back towards that, and its scary and hurts you. So we look for drops of Him, but can't find Him, and its no wonder because we're leaning back on ourselves and our flawed nature and not surrendering it all up to Him. Because we can't figure Him or ourselves out on our own, we just need God to do that for us.

So he screams out for his Father. As we should. We all should. Best resolution ever.

This song is utterly incredible. I adore it. The only reason that its #2 and not #1, is that in my walk of faith with God, while I do relate to and understand this song, I haven't struggled with the general doubt of God's existence really, much less been addicted to it. And I mean, its also about doubting God's ability to help you, sure, but I like how Holding Onto You does it better.

1 - Holding Onto You

This could perhaps be their best song of all time, but that's not why it's on my #1 spot. It's here because I, personally, relate to it the most.

Rather than doubting God's existence, I've had a lot more to work through with my ability to hold onto Him. That's my struggle. Which is why its my favorite Twenty One Pilots song.

Taking back control of yourself, not letting the darkness win and control you anymore, you have agency and purpose and are able to follow through with your convictions again. It was a hard battle, there are going to be some lasting effects from the damage that sin has done, but your flesh is out the door and you are ALIVE. Because through Christ, we aren't just a bunch of accomplishments for possessions, we have so much more value. And he's tried to find his satisfaction and help from people before, trying to open up to them, but it just will never be like God. And now that He know that, he can open up to God and surrender every bit of it to Him, giving up his life and soul which will heal him and give him value and purpose and keep him alive.

And you know why? Because God is always there. Always present. Always surrounding and protecting us from more than we know. Evenwhen we build up walls, retreat to our inner mountains to mask our pain from others and God, He is still there. Waiting. Ready. Loving us. And when Tyler starts to allow that shift, his perspective is changed and he sees differently, and is then ready to come down from the mountains that he has builtinto a vulnerable open space to hold onto God boldy and openly.

And he can hold onto him.

Then yeah, suicidal thoughts. Or just darkness in general. Even now that we've been saved, its still an ongoing battle until we get to be in heaven with Him. But its not going to win, through Christ! Through His strength and the power of the Holy Ghost, seize the pain, put restrictions on how it can spiral, tie it up and give the end of the leash to God, because they don't have to control us anymore and must obey our will to follow andobey Him now. It won't always be perfect, but we can do it. We have hope now, and something to hold onto that'll never let us down or give us up or let go of us.

Entertain my faith. This, right here. This is key. This is where the relatability for me and my walk personally is. Because, I know and believe that God is there in my mind, but the trouble has always been me turning from my ways to then reach out to Him in turn. Let my walls down and let Him in. And honestly, I can't do it. I can't be good enough to do it. I need Him to do it for me. I need Him to reach out to me first, to chose me first, and then to keep doing it over and over and over again even when I screw up, sin, and temporarily reject Him, so that I feel safe enough to run to Him and ask for Him to help me be faithful to Him and obey Him when I cannot do it alone. I need Himto be my reason for everything.

And one big thing we can dedicate to Him is our creativity. Infusing Him into everything we make or do. We were gifted with these thoughts and this knowledge and this way of glorifying Him, so how can we not use it? How can we not glorify and honor Him with everything, and transform the world around us by doing so? That's why we're here. That's THE POINT. Gotta hold onto God with everything we've got.

Sound is incredible. Just- no words. Amazing. And the music video is freaking phenomenal. Every time he says 'I'll be holding onto you' he's looking up. Resolve to look up, in the midst of darkness, in doubts, in zombies, in thoughts, always directing his gaze above the waves and the chaos and reaching out his hands to walk on water with Christ. Also the camera angles and stuff slap. Zombie dancers rock, it looks amazing.

Some of their song objectively are better than others, and an Objective Top 10 list might be different from this one, and I am Heavily Biased in favor in the first three albums, but I hope you enjoyed the read!

[evil-jennifer-hamilton-wb]

fuckkkkk my head hurts so much I want to smash it into pulp

[zzapnel]

fuck the haters my aura migranes look cool as fuck thats why no one can see them but me

[mysticarts]

Hello, question on how would Nia react to Luvio singing a lullaby for her? If Nia ever get nigthmares, I dunno how will it happened bit I can imagine Nia came back at school then accidentally hears Lucio singing quietly in the Kicthen AhA-

(I love Nia and Carmen so much in a familial way and I hope they get happiness in their life- Probably?..)

Cause in my headcannons Lucio secretly likes singing, not like wanting to be a singer it's something he likes about since his mother would use to sing a lullaby he whenever he couldn't sleep properly, including his sibblings. (He still does it in the present.. Just when the insomnia came only.)

Nowadays Lucio often hummed instead (the guy sings in private areas)

Feeling shy not wanting Carmen or anyone close to him hear his singing voice due to embarrassment and judgemental comments. (he's voice became roughish and maybe hoarse after the 'incident' happened. To further explain his young adulthood voice was alright until the incident aka trauma messed it up... I don't think he was able to recover afterwards.)

Headcannon Fact: If Nia would have nightmares or struggle to sleep, Lucio might sang a lullaby in his mother tongue language (Tagalog aka a Filipino language.) Or singing it in a different dialect to her. (He does have a soft spot for her.)

Then after that he tells Nia to never tell anyone about it only not aware Carmen is listening at the door with a shocked face.

(Fun Fact there's 171 different kinds of dialects in the Philippines- Okay Imma shut up now..)

Have a good day/Night. ^^

AWWWWWWWWWWWW IMMA DIE OF CUTENESS

Im getting more curious about what this incident is (probably Lucio's bother and or mother dying)

Carmen, is actually a pretty good singer! (She got it from her momma) it's just that she is also shy. Carmen does sing lullabies to Nia sometimes, but most of the time it's bedtime stories to calm Nia down.

And I'm going to be honest, Lucio singing to Nia and Carmen hiding behind the door? Just yes! (WRTIE IT DOWN WRTIE IT DOWN-) but you can bet that Shocked face is going to be placed with hearts in her dang eyes because Carmen's love for Lucio would probably Skyrocket because of how Lucio treats Nia.

before yall come after Carmen calling her a simp, I just wanna say that

Carmen is a hopeless romantic single mother of a teenage mentally unstable Arson loving kid and works 3 jobs everyday, for seven days straight. CUT HER SOME SLACK

Also I didn't know Lucio was philipino! I learn something new everyday:D

Anyway be free to ask questions!