#millkberry discourse

[caas1]

Regarding Millkberry and Pyroscythe I want to say its oddly misogynistic how people are talking about this. The change was originally about Maddy’s comfort and everybody is centering it around Pyro. I understand the posts that are talking about Pyroscythe condoning harassment, and I know that his character is shipped more but some people are treating this like its ONLY about him

[caas1]

this was meant to be posted last week but i kinda forgot about doing it…. anyways!! We’re gonna pretend this is still relevant

With the discussion of QPRs in fandoms I (an aroace-spec person who’s only interest in a relationship is a QPR) want to give a bit of a crash course on these types of relationships!

First off, the most obvious thing to go over is “What’s a QPR?”

QPR stands for queer platonic relationship. The meaning is kind of there in the definition. The most basic explanation is that it is simply a relationship that “queers” a platonic bond. However QPR’s can present in all kinds of ways, so this definition doesn’t always end up being the most accurate. Its only true requirement is that it doesn't strictly fit the expectations of a platonic or allonormative relationship.

“What is allonormative relationship”, you ask? It’s a relationship that fits the expectations of allonormativity, the (incorrect and aphobic) belief that all people experience romantic and sexual attraction and one must have a relationship that is inherently romantic and sexual to have a fulfilled life.

You may have deducted by now that QPRs are most common amongst aspec communities. This includes people who are on the aromantic and/or asexual spectrum, but also aplatonic, afamiliar, and other anattractional (lack of attraction related) identities.

However, one does not have to be aspec to be in a QPR! Nor do they have to be queer, however one may also argue that QPRs are inherently queer/are queer terminology, so, its up to you how you want to interpret that ^-^

It's important though to note that the label QPR is opt-in. What one relationship may label as a QPR, another may call a friendship or a romantic and/or sexual relationship. For example, friends with benefits is a well known term, and most think of it solely as a sexual relationship, but different people who have a similar relationship may define it as a QPR. You as a creator may see characters relationships as QPRs, but have some fun with considering how the characters you are shipping in this way may interpret it.

For example, I imagine Etho and Bdubs who I headcannon as asexual and arospec respectively to be in a QPR, but that’s not how they would define their relationship. They don’t know what the abbreviation QPR means. They’d define their relationship towards eachother as best friends even if they cuddle and kiss. Other people may interpret or label it as a romantic relationship. So you can see how its pretty up to interpretation and how you want to play around with it.

Additionally, in some QPR relationships, people may have other romantic or sexual relationships outside of this relationship, or they may be dedicated to acting as life partners, or even get married.

Now of course I don’t know everything about QPRs, but I do think this is a good amount of understanding for people to be at if they want to ship characters queer platonically

If you have more questions just ask and I’ll do my best to explain!!

otherwise go have fun and please don’t only ship characters queer platonically when you can’t ship them as you typically do </33

[caas1]

CAAS HI!!!!!

*Runs and jumps and hugs you tightly*

Zi know you need sleep and all that, buuuuuut zi have a question!!

(Zi know this looks all happy cause zi'm happy, but remember, if you don't want to answer you don't have to!)

What do you think about Pyro's shipping boundaries and how people are getting mad at him for saying he was going to send his people after people who kept shipping him? Zi'm sure you've likely made a post of this, but zi can only scroll for so long before wanting to ask you directly.

LOTS OF LOVE!!!! /platonically ofc

-Theo

Hihi!! :DD sending you a thousand hugs back :33

Also who told you I need sleep, thats a complete lie smh /silly

Anyways,, about the Pyro/Maddy situation, I have posted a bit about it before, but this is a great time to elaborate on it even more, so thanks for the ask lol :]

Disclaimer: Theres a lottttt of text, this all turned quite ramble-y, whoops!

(also!!!!! Every use of “you” below is a royal “you”, please no one get upset 😢)

I have some mixed feelings over it, but because of the policing of fan spaces and Pyro turning his fandom into a hostile environment with his rules, its safe to say im no longer a fan of CC!Pyro.

Im gonna be honest it was a hard blow as someone who is very attached to his characters (I wasn't voted no.2 v!Pyro fan for nothing!! /lh) and it gave me major repulsion and dread thinking about them when all the discourse was still fresh, but its pretty okay now lol... I’m kind of at a point where I don’t care that much anymore. Like ive just blocked them and some other CCs and called it a day.

[+ my inital response]

I’m not creating for them,, my stuff is for fans, so i truly couldn’t care less about doing something not specifically created for their eyes, y’know? And many people work the same exact way.

At the end of the day, it’s the CCs choice to interact with fandom. They certainly can, and it can be go well. Martyn and Cleo clearly show that. They respect the barrier between fans and creators, and don’t order around spaces where they have no authority.

They understand what many creators don’t; it is not possible to contain fandom. Fandom is a clash of unstoppable and unmovable forces. And you know what the easiest and simplest solution is? Going around eachother. If you’re running into someone else, take a few steps to the left, and there! problem solved! No one is forced to interact with eachother, there is ALWAYS the option to leave or to avoid (on the internet atleast).

I do think its important to note that it's healthy for Millkberry and Pyroscythe to want to establish these boundaries, and by no means do I think they had any malicious intentions, however, its the fact that they (well just Pyro, as far as I am aware) are trying to turn these boundaries into rules which creates an issue.

A boundary is a way to protect your personal space. It’s essentially an agreement that reads "if you want to engage in this space/interact with me, you have to respect these guidelines that I have created for my own comfort/safety/other personal reason".

If you enter a community clearly marked with a sign saying “Keep out!!” it’s your own fault if you ignore that and get your feelings hurt.

If you try to place restrictions on something that you have no authority over, it’s your own fault when it doesn’t work out and you get your feelings hurt. :/

Another thing I have seen is people comparing them to actors. And on one hand, I understand why one may think that way, considering they are in fact just playing a character. However! It's not really as comparable as people are making it seem.

Actors are very detached from the characters they play. They are given a script and told to present as someone entirely different, but when it comes to MCYT, they all are the ones creating and embodying their characters in their entirety. It's not just filling a role, because these characters are almost always somewhat of an extention of themselves because it is improv and role play and friends putting on different costumes to play pretend. It's much more similar to them as a creator than a role is to an actor. Yknow?

And we are all still people. It is uncomfortable when you know people could be crossing your boundaries out of your personal space, but you have to accept it’s out of your hands. You have to accept when you fill the role of a creator and a figure on the internet these things will happen regardless of what you do.

The only way to get around it is curating your own experience. That’s why blocking and DNI tags exist. “But people will just use the DNI tag to breach boundaries.” Maybe. Maybe some people will, maybe some won’t. That’s not your issue. Whatever people want to use it for, is up to them. The option you have is giving people a space to do that where you won’t have to deal with it v/s potentially seeing it otherwise, and encouraging hate, bullying, harassment, and threats to circulate. People are VERY easily influenced by people they idolize and respect, so when you put a full ban on something that people are bound to do, it will only cause issues.

Essentially, it’s always a problem, but it can be made significantly better or worse depending on how you choose to deal with/react to it.

Also don’t get me started on how badly this affects queer people. Maddy and Pyro are both queer, yes, but that does not negate the fact that they have made their communities significantly more hostile to queer individuals.

Despite the mcyt fandom being such a queer heavy community, there has always been push back on shipping especially because many of the fandom ships are queer (ex, people lying about Scott and Pyro being brothers in The Flight to discourage shipping them with eachother) and now they only have more reason to harass people whose only crime is liking a ship.

Not to say there aren’t nonqueer ships with their characters, but I think we all know the different impacts and significance of different ships…

also specific communities within the queer space have been affected by this as well since people are trying to find alternatives to shipping

[ref: “Just make your Pyro ships QPRs!!” and my take on actually making QPRs in fandom]

so yeah, it’s not very great for queer members of their communities.

But honestly at the end of the day, its just a whole bunch of people being parasocial (both fans and creators) and it really does not matter what you do as long as it's not hurting anyone in the process. ("But it is hurting Pyro and Maddy emotionally!!" Yes, I see that point. Except, there's a difference between when something that makes you uncomfortable is forcefully put in front of your eyes to see v/s going out of your way to look for content that makes you uncomfortable just for a reason to be upset... Very different situations.)

But also!! Fans DO NOT owe content creators a single thing. Nothing. Is it good to do whats most moral and passive? I mean yeah, of course, but you don’t owe strangers anything. Everyone please remember that content creators are strangers. We know these people through a screen!! They’re not our friends, we aren’t theirs! We don’t need to act like it.

so, yeah, i think that’s like most of my thoughts on it,,, ive genuinely been writing this for 1-2 hours… thanks for coming to my ted talk 🔥🔥