Dec 8, 2020
Milo: I'm gonna ask you to be respectful.
Grandpa Eddie: I will politely decline.
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Milo: I'm gonna ask you to be respectful.
Grandpa Eddie: I will politely decline.
So against all odds I’ve really enjoyed the new Jumanji films and The Next Level is no exception...BUT there are two things that I find it hilarious how hard they went to avoid going into:
1) Milo deciding to stay in Jumanji was a nice scene and all but how are they going to explain his absence in the real world? The man disappeared and the last person he contacted is someone who held a grudge against him. The police are going to go after Eddie for murder!
2) Bethany is still clearly really, really into Alex/Seaplane. She is simultaneously thirsting over a hot pilot and wanting to get nailed by a 40 year old DILF.
Saw Jumanji next level tonight!! (Well last night bc its 3am now lmao) It was good!! The actors are seriously amazing! You believe that they're so different from who they are (which is acting but sometimes the whole different body thing doesn't work & is just cringe and bad but they're v good about it!) It was a great story, kept you in the whole time & man oh man are they all so attractive & compelling like whattt 😂
The Team: Can we talk about the email you sent to everyone?
Jumanji: It was a critical update.
The Team: It just says, "I'm back on my bullshit".
Jumanji: People need to know!
Martha at the beginning of Next Level: If you have any questions, just ask.
Grandpa Eddie: If a bear and a shark had a fight, who would win?
Fridge: If you have any relevant questions, just ask.
Literally every person who has ever been stuck there: Hey, Jumanji... Why do you do this game? What's it all for?
Jumanji: In a word?
Jumanji: Chaos.
Milo: You're coming off distinctly paranoid.
Grandpa Eddie: Everyone keeps saying that. It's like a conspiracy.
Milo: I feel like I have died and gone to Heaven.
Grandpa Eddie: I have that dream too, but you go in the other direction