#source: snl

[illusive-delusions]

Langdon: Guess what I got her for our anniversary, Robby.

Robby: I don’t know, maybe some jewelry, or—

Langdon: That’s right, a clarinet!

Robby:

Langdon: Doesn’t my baby look like she would go stupid on a woodwind?

Mel: Guilty!

[sandrasoapbox]

Bob: Rule number one, I do the dishes because I like playing in the water. Rule number two, John does the cooking because I'm not allowed to touch the stove.

[projectquotemary]

Grace: People say, “I wasn’t bullying him, I was roasting him.” Okay, what’s the difference?

Grace: Roasting is bullying that’s really funny and that’s it, that’s the only difference.

[incorrecttwsted]

[treasureofmammon]

Obey me: Incorrect quotes (100)

Being married to Mammon be like:

More incorrect quotes here <-

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📌 Masterlist

[incorrect-maraudersaandco-quotes]

Pandora: Rule number one, I do the dishes because I like playing in the water. Rule number two, Regulus does the cooking because I'm not allowed to touch the stove.

[roseofithaca]

Alastor, in S3 or 4: SURPRISE, FOOLS! I'm not your friendly ally after all! I'm actually-

Charlie: The villain.

Vaggi: The villain.

Everyone else: You're the villain.

Alastor: Oh....You already knew?

Charlie: Yeah, I figured it out when you used that deal we made to make me say something I didn't want.

Vaggi: And I knew from; "Hi, I'm Alastor".

[incorrectbadkidz]

Fabian: Rule number one, I do the dishes because I like playing in the water. Rule number two, Adaine does the cooking because I'm not allowed to touch the stove.