tagged by mina to post about 5 things i can rant about for like an hour without prep :) ty mina <3 @jewishdainix
umm 1. succession that show has eaten me up i type this sitting snugly in its belly. and im not even the only one here im one among hundreds. anyway show of all time about capitalism and the horror of the family i could probably talk about shiv alone for an hour. normalgirl
2. jane austennn i have such a love hate relationship with these books they're the first books i truly fell in love with and i hate what theyve done for societys idealization of the victorian period. she wasn't as subversive as ppl paint her out to be; then again, it wasn't her goal to be so. she occupied a sally rooney esque spot where the goal was to portray social horrors and pleasures with wit; of course romance was a big part of that. anyway northanger abbey best novel ever. not really
3. the magnus archives um actually this post is getting too long. bye
4. realm of the elderlings specifically kennit ludluck. i could talk about this character forever well of course i know him he's me. stories that help you come to terms with the horrific things you've done, that portray victimhood and abuse and colonization so so well, that knows how to humanize (or rather personify bc i think human is a biological category rather than like a measurement of goodness but ykwim) the structures that prop up enable and even reward certain horrors..........."he knew the difference between a grown woman and a small boy well enough" you will always be famous. what a villain!
5. olivia rodrigo. yeah i have nothing to say about this i just spend inordinate amounts of time listening to her music and i have THOUGHTS on the music videos the art the tour etc etc. miss rodrigo i would be such a competent good personal assistant plz hire me
umm tagging anyone who wants to just say i tagged you<3 and also @mircallaruthven @captainahabgf @bejeweledmp3 @tiredguyswag @theatredelabsurde @lyinginthesnow <3
edit sorry I have to turn this unrebloggable bc I'm bad at dealing with too many notifs rip pls make separate posts everyone 🩵
Are there any WIPs you're currently working on that you're willing to share something about. 👀
Ooh, okay, so I can’t give out snippets because the first draft is extremely rough (and not even finished yet 🫠), but right now I’m working on a oneshot that tells Theo and Eloise’s story in retrospect. I won’t give away too much in case it’s never posted buuuuuut the truncated version is that they’re long-dead, some correspondence is found in an elderly lady’s attic, and People™ are (naturally) interested in the rather dramatic personal life of a (proto-)feminist icon/mildly disgraced Viscount’s daughter.
Or, an Eposette barricade day/birthday fic for the lovely Mina @jewishdainix !!!! Sorry it’s a day late, and I hope you like it!
“Hi.”
“Hey.”
That was as far as their interactions went most days. Cosette would see the flashing of cold blue eyes and a ratty jean jacket, and she’d wave instinctively. Not because she wanted to talk to Eponine, which she didn’t, especially not outside a therapist’s office, but because it was polite.
So Cosette was disturbed, one bright June morning, to realize that Eponine’s absence rattled her immensely.
It had become a comfort to her, it seemed, to see that face every Wednesday. Yes, it was the face of someone from a time she never wanted to relive in a hundred years, but the face itself was unaffected by that time somehow. Her face, her clothes, her walk, the way she nodded her head to say hey or hi or hm, had all become fixtures in Cosette’s life.
This, as has been said, was an unpleasant realization. Just because it’s comforting to have common fixtures in your life doesn’t mean you have to like those fixtures.
Still, her relief at seeing Eponine walk out the door next Wednesday was noticeable, if not to them both.
~
“I like your hair.”
“Thanks.”
Compliments were new territory. Yes, the electric shade of green Cosette had dyed her hair was shocking, but most of those who saw it just stared.
She hadn’t gotten the chance to mention it before they were through their respective doors, but she liked Éponine’s hair just as much. It wasn’t dyed, but a muted shade of red that had been regaining a brilliance and a luster that she hadn’t seen before. A stylist wouldn’t have dreamed of touching hair like that with green dye.
The second unpleasant realization of the last three weeks was that Eponine was so pretty. Like, Greek myth pretty. One of the wood nymphs in the myths storybook her papa had gotten her for whatever reason resembled her. It had told the tale of Ekho, talkative accomplice of Zeus, struck down by Hera and worn away by Narcissus. The doodles of Ekho looked like Éponine’s past life or secret twin.
That was all Cosette could think about in therapy. She discussed other things: dying her hair, going bowling with Marius (whom she was over, thank you very much) and his friends, seeing her Papa in the suburbs and her mother at the cemetery. But life was routine enough that she could recite it from memory, and what was really on her mind was the fact that the client who left before her looked like a minor goddess in a storybook and had complimented her on her brand-new neon hair.
Her therapist probably couldn’t tell all that just from listening to her talk.
~
“Didn’t I see you hanging out with Marius Pontmercy on Sunday?”
“Yeah, we met up with some of his friends and got ice cream.”
Cosette’s hair was fading. She’d thought about going blonde, but the risk of looking a bit too much like Enjolras was just a little more than she was willing to take. So she was letting her roots grow out.
Ice cream had been fun. They couldn’t go to the bar anymore since Grantaire was so set on getting sober, but a root beer float tasted better than normal beer anyway. A strange sensation had been Courfeyrac’s effusive praise of her hair as he craned his left hand for Marius’s right. They had held hands for the whole evening. Cosette had never liked it when Marius wanted to hold her hand for hours on end, but Courfeyrac seemed to like it just fine.
There was no jealousy involved. Just them, hands clasped like a lock, and her, looking on silently. Eating her ice cream, laughing at Musichetta’s jokes.
Wishing she could fall in love like that.
Not with Marius again. That was nice for a few months but she didn’t need to do it again. Just someone, anyone, that would make life’s routines and fixtures feel more hopeful, more special.
She mentioned it in therapy. Her therapist smiled to himself. That meant something good, it had to.
That night, like she hadn’t done in years, Cosette made a wish in the fountain at the mall.
~
“Were you there-“
“Yeah. What’s going on?”
It turned out Eponine lived in the building that Marius and Courfeyrac lived together in. Cosette had seen her going out as she left their place. The hair and eyes weren’t easy to miss, but she only noticed Eponine after the fact because she’d been sobbing like a little kid.
She said it was nothing, and soon it would be nothing. Yes, Papa was in the hospital for heart trouble but he’d be out soon. No, she couldn’t be too far away from him but she had a place to stay and it was a four-minute drive from the hospital. Yes, it was all going to be just fine.
It had to be fine, because her Papa was all Cosette had.
He’d known her mother well, and when she was dying she said he would take care of everything. Everything meant Cosette, and he embraced her like his own. He loved her as much as any father loved his daughter, if not more. And she loved him more, if it was possible, because he’d chosen her of all little girls to love. They stood proud side by side, and they leaned on each other if they needed.
And Cosette knew she wouldn’t be able to lean on her Papa if everything didn’t turn out fine.
New routines sprouted from harsh soil. An everyday four-minute drive to the hospital, sitting with Papa, planning out the future if he got better and the future if he didn’t. A second four-minute drive, eating Marius’s leftovers and asking Courfeyrac to go to her place and water her plants. Tumbling asleep at midnight, leaving her phone off do not disturb, waking up tired.
Seeing Eponine in a new hallway. That bit was nice.
~
“Where’ve you been?”
“All over.”
Papa came home after a three-week stay in the hospital. The doctors had a list of all the things he wasn’t allowed to do, which included living by himself. Cosette was in the process of moving all her things to his house.
He had told her not to worry, that he was an old man and that these kinds of things would happen. She was young, she ought to enjoy her life. She fought back, she did, but Papa had a way of winning arguments that really made her understand why he was so often compared to an ox.
So, after her long break, Cosette was back in therapy. After this she was going out to get Papa the last of his meds, and after that she would go to sleep no matter what he said or did.
Routines were blending like dream logic, it seemed. The daily drives were longer, the appointments shorter, and Papa’s habits replaced those of Marius. There weren’t sudden changes, but everything was in a different place now.
And yet, here was Eponine, headed out of the same door she always was. Like the changing of seasons: Eponine walked past and the sun gleamed. Eponine skipped a Wednesday afternoon and the wind stung Cosette’s face. Her beautiful hair was the spring, her footsteps were the fall.
A fixture of the spinning of the earth since they were little kids. It wasn’t magic, nor was it destiny. Just Eponine.
That was better, somehow.
~
“Can I get your number?”
“How come?”
“Marius, Courfeyrac and me are going to hang out tonight. I know you know them, I just thought I’d ask if you wanted to go?”
“You want to hang out with me?”
“Why not?”
“You know there are a lot of reasons why not, Cosette.”
“I do.”
It all just hung in the air for a second. Chill wind.
“I still want you to come.”
“Does Marius?”
“I don’t see why he’d mind.”
“What about-“
“You don’t have to go if you don’t want to,” Cosette said. “But if you do, then I can text you. We can make it a thing.”
“A thing?”
“A routine. Something we do together.”
A lot of words went unsaid that day. They didn’t know what would be said, or when, or how. That wasn’t part of the plan.
“Here,” said Eponine. “Give me your phone and I’ll put it in.”
Cosette could feel herself smiling.
They went to the movies with Marius and Courfeyrac that Saturday. The week after that was the bookstore, because it was so close to September already and Eponine needed new textbooks. The wind changed from sweet to minty, but nothing was too much now. The time passed.
Eponine took Cosette to dye her hair neon green again.
