“Alam mo kung ano yung masakit? Yung hindi ko masabi or maexplain sayo yung totoo kong nararamdaman kaya ako sumuko. Pakiramdam ko araw araw may pumapatay sakin. All I felt was pain. Gusto kitang kausapin, gusto kong sabihin kung gaano kitang kamahal but I think it’s too late. You gave up without knowing what’s the reason behind me giving up. If only you knew how I felt.. Never ako nag complain, never ako umangal sa mga decisions mo. You were my boss, you were my everything. All I wanted was for you to be happy. Whenever I see you happy with someone else, kahit sobrang nadudurog na ko sa sobrang selos, iniisip ko nalang ang importante masaya ka. I lost all the happy hormones inside my body just to transfer it to you. Your happiness was mg happiness. Even though your happiness wasn’t me. Giving up is different sa nagparaya, love. I gave up on hoping, at nagparaya ako cause nung araw na nagaway tayo about me giving up, I saw you laughing. Nakita kita na sobrang saya. Even happier compared to when we were still together. Kaya pinabayaan muna kita. I told myself, hahanapin din neto yung happy moments namin. But I assumed again. And I was wrong again. The day I needed you, nakita kitang masaya. And I told myself again, "Ano? Idadamay mo nanaman siya sa kadramahan mo sa buhay?" Ayoko kasi ng may ibang tao na nadadamay sa mga kaartehan ko and you know that. So sabi ko, masaya ka na talaga ng wala ako. So again, I told myself, kaya mo na ng wala ako. Hindi mo na ako kailangan. Masaya ka na. At mas ok nang makita kita na mas masaya sa iba kesa makita kitang nakaupo lang sa isang gilid at nagiisip kung pano tayo maayos dahil nagaway nanaman tayo dahil sa maliliit na bagay, dahil sa pagooverthink ko. Yun nga lang, dahil ata sa pagsuko ko, ako ang lumabas na masama. Ako ang hindi nagmahal. Ako ang nag break ng promise. AKO ANG MALI. Pero ok lang, I understand. All I can wish right now is for your contentment and happiness. Mahal na mahal kita, alam mo yan. // — p.c. - a.j.