#mind is racing

[callmenonames]

 “In the midst of chaos, seek solace in the silence of your soul.” - Avijeet Das

[spookysofi]

the intro to the news report sounds like wttbp the intro to the news report sounds like wttbp the intro to the news report sounds like wttbp the intro to the news report sounds like wttbp the intro to the news repor

[catinsatintrousers]

whoever doesn't listen to the Another Kind of Mind/One Sweet Dream podcast needs to immediately okay? okay

i know its just speculation but listening to this has honestly satisfied all the questions i ever had about what the fuck happened between john and paul

their love was so deep 😭

[bellerose17]

Really need to shut my mind off... please feel free to give me book recommendations.🖤📖

[casting-shadows-photo]

Trouble sleeping

[vegan-slothbabe]

Its been almost 48 hours since I’ve slept. In the last 48 hours I have moved into a different house in a smaller town outside of my hometown closer to my husband’s work. I have worked two shifts at the gym. Plus I have gathered last minute items that couldn’t fit in the Uhaul and made a pile to be load for the dump later. Even though I am exhausted my anxiety right now is through the roof. I am so exhausted that I have refused to start unpacking because I know it’s just going to piss me off in the process but having the clutter is driving me crazy since the last year and half the only thing I have been able to control is how clean my house is or how I want it organized. Which right now it’s neither of those things. I can’t find anything which is just driving me crazy. On top of all that I can’t stop waiting for the bad news. Ever since moving back to my hometown a year and half ago it’s been nothing but negative bullshit. Every step we took to better ourselves we got knocked down. We have been working our asses off to pull ourselves out of not only a really bad toxic family situation but a financial situation as well. We were barley making enough money to survive and I was working two jobs on top of it and spreading myself so thin. Now we are living in a different place that I’m excited to make into a home and decorate it and truly have a place of our own. For the last almost 9 years we have been together we have never had a place that we could call our own and make a home out of. Something always happens and we have to move or it falls through. So here I am waiting for the bad news. Waiting for the negative. Even though the sun is shining I’m searching for the shadow. This move will better our life, health, and financial journey. I am waiting for the failure even though I am busting my ass my to make sure we don’t fail. That’s just how it’s been for the last year. I know it will be better once I can sleep and start unpacking and decorating. I know that we deserve this because we have busted our asses, working 6 days a week, two jobs, spending time away from not only each other but Aaliyah. That we are truly one step closer to filing for bankruptcy, starting over, learning from our mistakes and bettering ourselves. This move alone saves us $1300 a month on just monthly bills. That’s money that can be saved or used to finally decorate my daughters room the way she wishes because she deserves it. I’m so afraid to start making this our home and something happening. That’s what happens when you are surrounded by dark clouds for so long that the light peaking in doesn’t seem real.

I’m fucking exhausted wishing I had some sleep aid tonight to pass out. Once my anxiety comes out to play it’s like a toddler who has eaten too much sugar, wild, stubborn and won’t crash until they have thrown a fit from hell.

Annnnnd on top of all this my parents and kid brother are stationed in South Korea. Can we add anymore worry on right now? I’ve become obsessed with the news and updates.

[generationintrovert]

Feeling left out. Book of Helen

[autistic-raptor-arms]

Good night