Advice for writing a character with insomnia
⭑𓂃 they don't just lie there peacefully staring at the ceiling. okay, sometimes they do, but mostly they're shifting positions every four minutes, flipping the pillow to the cold side, kicking off blankets then pulling them back on, checking the clock and doing the math of "if I fall asleep RIGHT NOW I can get 4 hours" over and over until it's 3 hours, then 2, then none.
⭑𓂃 they have weird relationships with being tired. like, they're ALWAYS tired, but they're also wired? it's this horrible combo of exhausted body and brain that won't shut up. your character isn't just yawning cutely, they're getting irrationally angry at small things, forgetting words mid-sentence, staring at their phone for twenty minutes without reading a single thing.
⭑𓂃 the 3am thoughts are SPECIFIC and often stupid. they're not just pondering deep existential questions. they're thinking "did I say 'you too' when the barista said enjoy your coffee" and "what if everyone I know is just pretending to like me" and "why did I say that thing in 7th grade" and "I should learn to play the accordion" all at once in a horrible loop.
⭑𓂃 they try SO MANY weird things to sleep. your character has definitely tried: counting backwards from 1000, progressive muscle relaxation, that 4-7-8 breathing thing, ASMR videos, white noise, brown noise, pink noise, nature sounds, meditation apps with people whose calm voices they grew to HATE, reading boring books, warm milk (doesn't work), cold rooms, hot rooms, no screens (impossible), melatonin (hits different for everyone), Benadryl, and eventually just accepting their fate at 5am.
⭑𓂃 everything is louder at night. that refrigerator hum? DEAFENING. the house settling? TERRIFYING. neighbor's cat? MIGHT AS WELL BE A FULL ORCHESTRA. your character is hyper-aware of every single sound and it's driving them absolutely insane.
⭑𓂃 they have complex feelings about morning people. your insomniac character hearing someone say "I'm such a morning person, I just pop right up at 6am!" is experiencing homicidal levels of jealousy. they don't trust people who wake up cheerful. it feels like a personal attack.
⭑𓂃 the exhaustion is PHYSICAL. it's not just sleepy eyes. it's bone-deep, soul-crushing, their-body-feels-like-it-weighs-500-pounds exhaustion. everything takes more effort. showering is a whole EVENT. making food is an expedition. existing is LABOR.
