"you have forgotten me or you love someone else" from the Sappho one for Miri and Mandisa ;)
Just for some context – Miri Lavellan is @aveline-the-dragon-slayer‘s Dragon Age OC, and Mandisa Trevelyan is mine. Mandisa is somehow a vampire because sometimes you just have to be self-indulgent.
Suggested listening: Epilogue - Dark Souls III
Miri had grown old.
Decades passed; the world changed. She changed. Her fiery red hair now all white, her skin wrinkled, her joints tired. But Mandisa was the same—everything about her remained as if she were still twenty-five years old. Though she had tried, Miri was never able to convince Mandisa to leave her. All those years as Keeper, Mandisa stood by her side, aided the hunters to repel shems, traveled impossible distances to find resources, used her charm to reclaim stolen artifacts. With each passing day, Mandisa loved Miri just the same, despite the side effects of aging.
It was not age that took Miri’s life, in the end. A disease, passed down from her father’s side, eating her from the inside. Something impossible to cure—something Mandisa had never seen before. When Miri had called her in her Aravel, Mandisa knew what would happen. The wood creaked under her as she entered. Miri was on her bedroll, her eyes glassy. Mandisa knelt by her side.
“Hello, ma vhenan,” she simply said. She lifted a hand. Mandisa immediately took it in hers, brought it to her lips.
“My love,” Mandisa replied. Already, tears were rolling down her cheeks. She had seen everyone she loved die before. It never got easier. Miri turned her head to look at her. Her lips were cracked. She had lost so much weight that Mandisa could see every part of Miri’s skull.
“I was lucky to have all this time with you—” she paused to cough. “I wouldn’t trade it for the world.”
“Let me change you,” Mandisa pleaded. “We could stay together—”
“Immortality is not for me,” Miri replied, gently pulling her hand away from Mandisa’s grasp, instead to put both on either side of Mandisa’s face.
“But I can save you—you could survive this,” Mandisa protested.
Miri smiled. “We talked about this, ma vhenan. I do not wish to live forever.”
“What will I do without you?” she whimpered.
“You will live. Explore the world, meet new people. Soon, I will simply be a memory—someone from your distant past. You will—you can love again.”
“I don’t want to,” Mandisa held Miri’s wrists, keeping her hands on her face. “Please…”
Miri gasped, took a long breath in. There was a breeze in the Aravel. “Falon’Din is coming for me, ma vhenan. Promise me—promise me to keep living. You can’t remain in the past forever.”
Mandisa blinked back tears. “I’ll try,” she whispered. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” Miri smiled at her again, then the light in her eyes was gone. She was gone. The hands against Mandisa’s face lost their strength. She slowly lowered them. Carefully, she closed Miri’s eyes. She stood on shaking legs, and exited the Aravel, where the clan were waiting.
“Your Keeper is with Falon’Din,” Mandisa said, bowing to them. “Ir abelas.”
She stayed long enough to see the clan bury Miri with the traditional oak staff and cedar branch. On top of her grave, a jacaranda sapling was planted in the earth. Though it barely had branches, small purple flowers were starting to bloom.
~~~
Mandisa put her hand on the bark. It was rough and brittle, scarred by the years. Countless branches poured around her, a shower of purple petals. She had forgotten how long it had been since she was last here.
After—after Miri’s death, she remained close to the Lavellan clan, helping them as she did before, only interacting with those she knew best. With time, she grew increasingly distant. She needed to leave, so she did. Keeping in the shadows, she traveled the continent, never staying too long in the same space, feeding on whatever animal she could find, until she found an abandoned cabin by the ocean in Rivain. There, Mandisa hid as the world changed around her, plagued by visions of Miri. Walking on the beach in a white dress, barefoot, collecting bright shells. Waiting for her at the table, running her fingers on the wood, hissing at the sting of a splinter. Standing on the tall cliffs, her arms open, laughing in the sun. Every time, Mandisa shut her eyes tightly, blinked the tears away. All those years, and Miri never left her.
Mandisa’s hand was on the bark—on the tree standing as Miri’s grave. It had grown so much, but Mandisa was the same. The same as when the tree was planted, the same as when Miri died. Such was her curse. She rested her forehead against the trunk.
“Hi, my love,” she whispered, tears rolling down her cheeks. “It’s been a while.”
Behind her, a gust of wind shook the branches. Petals fell slowly. Mandisa turned sharply.
A few steps away from her was—Miri. Just as she looked when they had first met—no signs of age or disease. Mandisa could not tell if it was a trick of her mind, or if it was really her. She carefully walked closer. Miri smiled, her tears twinkling in the moonlight.
“Ma vhenan,” Miri said.
Mandisa choked on a laugh of disbelief as she reached for Miri, but her hands never touched her. So it had been a vision after all. Mandisa clutched her arms to her chest and stepped away from Miri. She closed her eyes again.
“I’m here, Mandisa. It’s really me.”
Mandisa kept her eyes shut.
“I was hoping you would forget,” Miri added.
Mandisa scoffed through her tears. Her visions had never spoken before. “I could never forget you. I never forgot anyone.”
“I’m sorry, ma vhenan. But you knew what would happen.”
Mandisa finally opened her eyes and marched back to Miri. “I couldn’t just—leave you! You’re,” a pause for a shuddering breath, “you were the love of my life. I couldn’t give that away, immortality or not.”
“You promised me you would keep living.” Miri stood closer, put her weightless hand against Mandisa’s cheek. Neither could feel it.
“I tried,” Mandisa cried. “I can’t—not without you.”
“Yes, you can.” Miri’s smile was sad. “You have to move on.”
“I can’t forget you.”
“I know. It was foolish of me to think otherwise, but—” Miri’s form grew more translucent. She winced, as though she was in pain. “You can’t stay alone forever, not because of me.”
“Please don’t go,” Mandisa pleaded.
“I’ve spent more time than I should have already, ma vhenan. Remember what I said.”
“I love you,” she said. Miri smiled at her once last time before she was once again completely alone. She fell to her knees and wept.
~~~
Deep in the Tirashan, west of Orlais, Mandisa found a cave in the mountainside, where she should hide during the day, and explore the forest at night. With rumours of the Forgotten Ones’ worshippers living within these woods, she knew no human would be bothering her.
Though she had found some non-humans. Others, like her, who did not kill humans for sustenance. They had a network of caves, some old forgotten section of the Deep Roads, ignored by darkspawn since, technically, nothing lived there. There was nothing to corrupt.
They were about eleven, a small community hidden away from the world. They welcomed her with open arms, greeted her saying “welcome home,” though she had never met them. Mandisa accepted their invitation to join, them. She had spent enough time alone. For once in her life, she had found a family that she would not outlive.
Months after her arrival, when she ventured outside, she saw Miri for the first time in years, basking in the moonlight. The sight of her did not hurt as much as it did before. She would smile, wave, and keep going. Though she had never forgot about her, Mandisa had respected her promise. Just not in the way she had expected.
As the sun began to rise, Mandisa returned to her home, where she was greeted by the smiling faces of the people she had come to love. Her family.
