Content Warning Note: This article will mention sexual harassment and sexual assault.
The Missing and/or Broken Stair concept is prevalent in many communities, specifically larp communities. For those unfamiliar, the Missing Stair is, generally speaking, a sexual abuser who is tolerated by a community. Those within the community know how to avoid this person. Those new to the community are often left to find out on their own about this individual, or specifically told to avoid them. Before going further, I encourage you to read the following articles.
The Origin of the Missing Stair
Abuse, Your Local Larp, Missing Stairs and Broken Ones
I’d like to talk today about other types of stairs, and bits of architecture.
This is effectively the same as the Missing Stair, except that their toxicity does not come in the form of sexual harassment or assault, rather they are toxic for a variety of other reasons that can be and often are, just as potentially damaging to the community and its members. This includes racists, extreme sexists, and unrepentant internet trolls, among others. Unlike the Missing Stair, their activities rarely dip into the realm of the explicitly illegal.
Also unlike Missing Stairs, the Rickety Stair is not always beyond repair. Larping can be a culture shock. I’ve seen people enter a community on the fringe of what was acceptable, and through simply being immersed in a culture they had not experienced, change their world view. It is rare, but it does happen. Larp communities are sometimes magic.
The Stair Case in Another House
There is an upper limit at which humans are able to connect with one another. Most of us have a small to mid-sized core group of friends, then a great deal of people we are friendly with. We tend to form micro-communities within our communities. For some communities there is enough cross pollination to prevent these micro-communities from becoming isolated. But for others these micro-communities might as well be playing another game for all the connection they have to anyone outside of their micro-community. In fact, the micro-communities in question often become either dismissive or outright hostile to outsiders. But they tend to isolate themselves so completely you would never encounter this unless you attempted to bridge the gap.
You may or may not be aware of the condition of their staircase. You may be told that there is a missing stair over there, but then told that they just keep to themselves, so it isn’t a problem.
It is a problem. The existence of isolated unwelcoming micro-communities within a larp is a bug not a feature. Larp is a collaborative effort. Certainly groups will form. People tend to like certain people more than other people after all. But when they stop interacting, they perpetuate a system of exclusion and discourage inclusion. Humans tend to learn best by example.
The Creaky/Loose Floorboard
To be blunt, not every person in this world is great. I have a theory of thirds. One third of people are simply terrible. There is no hope for them. One third of people can potentially be terrible. Generally due to a lack of perspective or apathy. The last third of people are actively trying not to be terrible. This is a rough completely non-scientific theory based purely on watching American Politics and personal bias.
There are people within our communities that we tend to avoid. Not because they are physical or emotional danger, but because they are simply a drain on our personal resources. They are often a drain on the game’s resources as well. They can be cheaters, those who actively prevent others from enjoying the game by expressing their displeasure in a public space, or those who simply cannot be made to listen despite repeated attempts by multiple people. You might prefer if they didn’t come to your game, but they also haven’t done anything to justify their removal.
I don’t have an answer for the Creaky Floorboards of the world. The amount of time needed to keep them in a state of constant repair is generally not worth the effort, and the condition of their creakiness can often be avoided/doesn’t appear every time you run an event.
However the Creaky Floorboard can develop into the loose floorboard if you are not careful (or even if you are). The Loose Floorboard is someone who is such a massive drain that they become toxic for the community as a whole, and often become just as much of a problem as a Missing or Rickety Stair. If someone is routinely making other people actively miserable just by being there, you are completely justified in removing them from you community. Not everyone knows how to play nice.
This last one could perhaps be an article all on its own, but given how often I update this blog, I will delve into this concept now.
Most of us have been in toxic communities. If you’ve campaign larped more than 5 years, you have almost certainly been in at least one. Why did you stay? What kept you going? For me, I simply didn’t really think about all of the problems. I ignored things I should not have ignored. They didn’t effect me. It was a different time, a different culture. I was absolutely in the wrong...but I’m not here to tell you a rosy story of the past.
We’ve come a long way since then, and most of the change has been for the better. We don’t suffer things that we used to. We recognize problems more easily, and if we are doing it right, we address those problems. But not all larps operate this way. There are a lot of Missing and Rickety Stairs that have been grandfathered in. People who by all rights should not be allowed to be a member of a community, but whose tenure or connections within that community make them more or less immune to accountability.
And yet, many of us still see all the positive pieces of these communities. They shepherd new members, show them the ropes, tell them what Stairs to avoid. These are the Pristine Stairs. There is nobility in being the Pristine Stair in the otherwise missing staircase. You are the lone outpost in wilderness, sheltering people, and trying to show them what you love about your larp. But you are also sort of a problem.
If you recognize all of the negative pieces of your community, realize that there is no reasonable expectation of change, and still continue, you are as responsible as anyone else for perpetuating the community...in fact you might be more responsible since you are actively trying to keep something alive which should by all rights simply be allowed to die. Being an oasis doesn’t make the dessert not exist. Being a Pristine Stair doesn’t justify the rest of the Missing Staircase.
I might have a part 2 of this blog at some point. I have a few other architectural features in mind, the “wildly swinging precarious chandelier” for instance. Until next time, be excellent to each other!
