I didn’t realize it then, but you were my 1st love. We didn’t become intimate til years later. After middle school, high school, and well into our 20s. We never dated, but you were my friend and my companion. You were the 1st to know me inside and out.
My petty dilemmas were of value to you, listening with all your heart. Giving me advice and supporting me. Unfortunately, by the time we intimately connected life had caught up to us. More you then me! My secrets and fears were known to you, but you remained cocooned.
Regardless of this I loved you, because your joyful spirit wasn’t entirely diminished. Parts of you remained the same. My warm, loving, teddy bear. Our timing had never been right though, like the saying goes-“right person, wrong time”.
Somehow in my mind, I thought that eventually we’d be together. That the timing would finally be within our favor. That our journey would come to an end, and we’d be in each others arms. Yet, that isn’t the case uh?
Within the blink an eye, you were gone. Taken from me and all others. Disappointedly, I am still here living this hellish life. I’m the one that have yearned and craved for death to come; maybe you did tooo. I feel betrayed that you didn’t take me.
You left me alone without your love, understanding, and compassion. My only hope of reuniting and becoming more than friends…. is reincarnation. That within our next life we know better and simply cut through the red tape. You are and will always be my 1st love, regardless of how many lives we go through.