#mitsubasosukefictive

[fictive-confessions]

@ the recent tricky

its not at all bad to be uncomfortable, its personal pref

im unsure whether the term sourcemate came from kin or system spaces first but regardless, its your personal comfort so that isnt bad

- mitsuba 🍬

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[fictive-confessions]

one of our alters watching me take front of the body and beat the shit out of his singlet partner with a pillow /j

- mitsuba sousuke 🍬

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[fictive-confessions]

Fictive dating means the funniest crossovers. Yeah im mitsuba sousuke from hit manga toilet bound hanako kun. yes im dating osamu dazai from bungou stray dogs. its funny as hell

(note we're ageless alters and multifictives, theres not a weird age gap.)

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[fictive-confessions]

my friend was talking abt how persecutors harming the body in order to protect ppl in the sys is outrageous and. yeah i agree but i hate how it made me upset 💀 bc my friend is literally right but i felt targeted Anyways

im a recovering persecutor who still relapses into s/h (and im still a persecutor, im just a bit better than how i was a while ago), and we have other persecutors in the system that s/h for whatever reason, including believing it'll protect the system or that the system needs to be punished. I understand the way of thinking bc ive been heavily apart of it. Im not saying that persecutors shouldnt reach out and seek better ways to deal with these issues, but it felt like my friend did Not understand why we do those types of actions and was reacting like it was stupid. And yesh it is stupid but god am i bad with words i cant explain why it makes me feel so shitty

- mitsuba 🍬

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[fictive-confessions]

(tbhk manga spoilers)

not reading the manga of my source at all but I still absorb spoilers of it like a sponge so I'm like. Half aware of most events in the manga is so funny bc what do you MEAN number 6 ate his WIFE?? I DIDNT EVEN KNOW HE HAD ONE

This feels more weird than the confusion abt the tsukasa/hanako twin thing 💀 (the chapters where kou was w/ baby tsukasa)

- mitsuba 🍬

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[fictive-confessions]

I think being host actually fucked me up longterm like majorly lawl

Maybe if I was a normal fictive who only fronted sometimes then I'd be like my source self, a lil petty and mean with an attitude but still a good person. but bc I've been host for so long I'm constsntly having the worst mood swings ever everyone has to walk on eggshells around me so I don't have a rage episode and then immediatelt cry my eyes out afterwards then go emotionally numb. maybe i wouldn't have so many mental issues and trauma bc idk im too immature to be a good host? but no i have to be for God whatever reason.

maybe that's why sourcemates always stop talking to me after a single interaction. does it show that much from speaking to me once.

my mental health is at an absolute all time low i need a break from being host so bad i wish i never became it in the first place but idk how to leave front for long periods of time. I try to leave front for 2+ days and I am forced back into it by God knows whatever cause.

- mitsuba sousuke 🍬

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[fictive-confessions]

obviously don't blame my bf for any of this but ouugjff

Being a mitsuba fictive who's extremely attached to their source, dating a kou fictive who isn't attached to source. Makes me want to curl up on the floor.

Neither of us ever talk about source because of how negative all of it is, but he rarely even acknowledges himself as kou. He goes by a different name and everything. Meanwhile I'm so heavily attached to source I couldn't even think about disconnecting myself from it.

I dont blame him at all, obviously fictives don't have to be connected to their source at all, (plus i was dating him before he even knew he was a kou fictive), but it still feels like "kou" isn't there and i miss him. and then I feel shitty bc my boyfriend IS kou and I shouldn't doubt his identity but I'm just too caught up in my own head

- mitsuba sousuke 🍬

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[fictive-confessions]

I swear to God fictive daters are just as bad as kindaters 😭 a few days ago another system followed us and they had an alois fictive who kept fronting whenever we mentioned our ciel (he's a frequent fronter) which ig yeah was fine bc I get excited over seeing sourcemates too but the SECOND we mention our ciel is in a relationship they blocked us 😭

IT WAS SO WEIRD?? LIKE we don't know you anyways !@ just because you share a source doesn't mean your friends .. You're still a stranger

We've had so many bad experiences with other systems befriending or following us just so they can hit on our fictives oh my god. Once our aether met a xiao and he immediately started flirting and being like borderline sexual it was so fucking creepy like bro we just met you an HOUR ago. This is why we rarely talk to sourcemates outside our current friend group bc everyone's so fucking weird

- mitsuba 🍬

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