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While these individuals are persistent if not needy in seeking certain relationships perceived as critical, and equally quick to idealize the object of their insatiable attention, paradoxically they are unconsciously fearful of commitment and dependence, and when not insufferably testing the relationship and their object’s purported caring or love, these individuals will frantically act in ways way to avert real or imagined fear of rejection or abandonment, even if that means sabotaging the relationship themselves and devaluing their hitherto idealized object. These frantic efforts to avoid their heightened sensitivity over abandonment in the very relationship they desire may include raging (anger disproportionate to the reality of the circumstance) and impulsive acting out behavior, such as self-mutilation, suicidal threats, behavior or other attention-getting negative conduct. They also employ risky behavior, including promiscuity or sexual acting out, excessive spending, drug abuse and eating disorders, to combat their sense of profound emptiness and boredom when not in a satisfying relationship, or simply to prime an uncertain relationship or test the limits of someone’s caring and love. Self-gratification is aspired through such macabre and negative ways. The term sado-masochistism may be apt.
Do You Know Someone Like This: The Borderline Personality Disorder