It was a brutal 12 hr day but it was also such a good day too. Everyone stopped by or stopped me in the hall and welcomed me back. 💜❤️💙🥰And when I walked into my room I had all new furniture and my aide had decorated my room for me. I am definitely blessed---- and my room was blessed by a lovely priest. It was more like a drive-by blessing but it was still very nice😁
I am so exhausted and I have a feeling that I'm not going to be able to sleep right away. I was on my feet more and walked more in one day that I have all summer long.
We didn't have to do the proper me the teacher because schedules have not been made just yet. The last few years they have been running super late in doing that.
So they had us come up in front of the cafeteria and get introduced. This took place at 6:00 after we'd already worked a full day and everyone was already pretty tired. Standing up in front of anyone is my least favorite thing in the world. Standing up in front of a large room that is absolutely jam-packed with people and screaming kids is an absolute nightmare for me.
Each time that we do this, oe have an awards assembly I ask "Can I please have a chair?"
I have horrible stage fright. If I stand up in front of people I feel like I'm going to pass out. I have limited Mobility anyway and if I stand for too long my knees will lock up. Then I start to have a panic attack. When I have a panic attack it's not fight or flight, it's freeze. Then I really can't walk.
This is not a new thing. This is happened every single one of the six years that I have worked here.
And every single year the lady who was our principal and now is one of the assi. superintendents will not let me do that. I am forced to stand up there for however long it takes for the presentation. By the end I cannot move from panic and from my legs feeling like a rope that is made of nothing but knots.
I really don't understand. I am not asking for a big chair. I am not asking for an obvious chair, I am not asking for a comfy chair. It can be a tiny stool as long as it is something I can sit on to get me off of my legs. And every single year it is denied.
At the end of the month we will have the real meet the teacher once everybody figures out who has what teacher. This will be good because I will be in my own room and I will be allowed to sit down. But also take forever because I will have however many parents of the 80 students I will have who will want to stand there and talk to me for 45 minutes each about their kid. But still at least I will be sitting down!
I wish I could share photos of my room on here. I don't because my worst fear is one of my current students finding this blog and figuring out it's me.
I'm so proud my room and it is light years from what it was a few months ago. The entire time I have taught there I have had desk that were 30 years old and completely falling apart. They were all mismatched they were all rickety. And half of them had little cubby holes where you were supposed to stick books but we're all of my students just stuck trash and food that would end up rotting. Now I have brand new tables that double as white boards for kids to write on.
Plus I have a brand new high tech / high def projection system called a Promethean board. My husband gave me a wireless keyboard and mouse for my birthday in between that and my rolling lectern which pretty much doubles as a walker for me most days that I can't get around too well I can zip around the classroom with that and not be tied down to standing in one place with a computer.
I'm so glad to be back but a holy cow am I tired.