So I went to my first Adolescent Support Group thing at MOCSA last night. It wasn't like I expected it to be. Although, I wasn't exactly what to expect. I think part of me thought--kind of was hoping--it'd be like Its Kind of a Funny Story (the book or movie. both were good). And we all would sit around in a circle and talk about our feelings except there would be too many people, so I wouldn't have to say anything; just observe.
Well, it was kind of like that. Except we sat around an old, shaky wooden table that had paint splatters on it. And there were only five of us. Let me give a quick rundown, so one would be able to understand why I felt so fucking out of place:
1. Lip-pierced girl. She was 17 and she felt numb. She also had lip piercings, short boy hair cut and huge tits. Mostly whenever she revealed anything it was about her boyfriend's cousin Cortez who was just shot and killed. And now they (whoever "they" is?) are keeping his funeral a secret because in her words, "Gang members could show up and start shooting." Obviously, lip-pierced girl was a regular on this little Thursday evening meeting. I could tell because she was really comfortable and didn't stutter or anything. Also, her mom and her talking in the waiting room like they were waiting for the dentist.
2. There was a black girl who for lack of a better identifier will be known as Black Girl. She was 16 and happy. She also arrived late with a can of Coke and one of the plastic wrapped streusels. Not to judge but simply to be honest and observant, she talked somewhat intelligently. Not like she was by any means retarded or stupid, just she mumbled a lot and used grammar all kinds of which way. It just was a little hard to hear/understand her sometimes. She talked about her boyfriend and how he was teaching her to play basketball. Oh, and her friend Tisha (?) almost got jumped at school.
3. Red-head. She was 16 and exhausted. She also was big, looked completely dejected and had fire red hear. And quite obviously, some sort of drug problem. This was just gathered from her mentions of rehab, court and awaiting a call on her probation officer. Well, shit. She didn't mention a boyfriend.
4. And the last attendee was another first timer like me--Skinny. She was a fucking twig. Also she was 14 and she was sad. It made my gut ache to think about why she was there. She seemed kind of nervous but still participated more than I did in conversation. She has a "wonderful" boyfriend but her parents don't trust her. To me, she came off as a girl striving really, really hard to get attention. Who knows why she was there. Christ, she is only 14.
The group leader was pretty much I imagined her to be from our one brief phone conversation. She was young but not too young, smiley, warm. Kind of good sorority girl like. Her name's Jenna, and I think I like her.
We talked about thinking errors and did activites that implied to the subject. I haven't decided yet if I'm going back next week. Because really I feel like I have nothing in common with those girls besides the reason of why we're there. If we didn't share that connection we probably would never have even known each other. And I think I would prefer it that way. Do I really want a friendship with this as the basis? Hell no. I don't want to carry this with me more than I already do. Although, it did become quite apparant to me that I have a few thinking errors.
One of which is being too quick to judge. Shit. I'm fucking walking example.
I need to work on these thinking errors. So, looks like I'll be going back to group.
