#mod stev

[intersex-support]

I wanted to pop on for a moment and say that when I see all of the asks and calls for support from intersex people that we can’t get to, it’s really sad. I think a lot of us suffer from fear, isolation, loneliness. There are resources out there, there’s community, there’s information that we can direct people towards, but from personal experience I don’t think a good majority of it is sustainable.

It’s difficult for us to connect and to maintain healthy relationships with other intersex people even once we find them, it’s difficult for us to navigate the different power dynamics, it’s difficult for us to even have a single conversation because it can be emotionally heavy, maybe we have our guards up, and we’re not above being reactive and defensive towards each other.

I think this is bound to happen in any group of people where a large percentage have experienced harm. I can’t think of a single intersex person I’ve met who hasn’t struggled with community and support. There isn’t a perfect solution that can be offered, I just hope we know that none of us feeling this way are alone.

[intersex-support]

it really drives me crazy that in the debate for trans rights, intersex people get completely forgotten by both sides. like, don't get me wrong, im a trans man and understand that the knee-jerk response to terfs saying 'they're transing kids genders' is to say that nobody's fucking doing that, because trans kids aren't getting access to puberty-blockers, even (they should be allowed puberty blockers tho but that's a whole other subject), let alone HRT or surgeries.

except for intersex kids. and i understand when trans people forget about us, it's usually not malicious ignorance, but it still hurts. and then of course there's the ridiculousness that is terfs claiming that kids are getting gender-affirming treatments while completely ignoring the realities of IGM. like. just say you hate trans people.

it feels like nobody cares about us except ourselves, and even then internalized intersexism is so pervasive that we barely even have that. it gets a little lonely. and im privileged enough to have a less visible intersex condition - i can only imagine what it's like for people who don't have that privilege.

What's fucked up is that there is evidence showing hrt saves trans kids lives, and igm puts intersex lives in danger. It's almost like taking autonomy away and dehumanizing people is a bad thing... because it is lol. Also to add to that, it's not just puberty blockers, hrt, and surgery that's being denied to trans people (AND intersex people for that matter, whether trans or not we often get denied essential hormones and affirming surgeries), it's also just the denial of being able to express ourselves in general.

Honestly, a lot of dyadic trans people often make it feel like they're the only ones suffering from the enforcement of gender, and that their experience is the epitome of all gender experiences. I'd like to say it's because they don't know any better, but some of them most definitely do. It's hard when intersex trans people are the only ones talking about it, it makes it feel like we're only collateral damage.

I would love to see more dyadic trans people think better about their wording, trans spaces need to start being safe for intersex people. We really do not have a lot of places we can go right now.

Edit: dyadic people, don't reblog this. We do not have the capacity currently to deal with discourse that always comes with things like this being shared. We're also not here to tell you how to be inclusive of intersex people unless we choose to.

[intersex-support]

Did you see this!!!!!! https://76crimes.com/2022/08/24/kenya-passes-landmark-law-to-recognize-and-protect-intersex-people/#more-45077

African LGBTI activists at it again!!!

"Kenya passes landmark law to recognize and protect intersex people"

This is INCREDIBLE!! Definitely going to have to read more about this because wow, congratulations Kenya!!!! Go Kenyan intersex activists!

Link to click: https://76crimes.com/2022/08/24/kenya-passes-landmark-law-to-recognize-and-protect-intersex-people/#more-45077

With the enactment of a law protecting intersex children, Kenya has become the first African country to grant official recognition to inters

[intersex-support]

Hey, I just wanted to remind everyone that hermaphrodite IS a slur, with a very violent and ugly history, so if you aren’t intersex you should not be using this term (outside of scientific context applied NOT to humans). It is a slur and should be treated as such, if you say this around an intersex person it can be extremely triggering, and it’s not something that most of us like to hear out of nowhere even between ourselves. Please be considerate about this if it ever comes up, it’s probably one of the most basic and easy ways to show allyship to intersex people because it shows that you actually take slurs against us seriously. 

[intersex-support]

I really wish that I could answer all of the asks we have in our inbox right now, but since I can’t, I just want to say that none of you should feel guilty or ashamed or like it was a mistake to try and understand your bodies better. You all really do deserve to just be able to speak your mind, express your worries and thoughts, and question the answers you’re given if they don’t fit. None of that is bad, it’s actually all very important to practice and feel strong in no matter what outcome you receive from doctors, family, friends, partners, community, etc.

[intersex-support]

is it possible to be intersex but not disabled?

Yes, you can be intersex and not consider yourself disabled. There’s no right or wrong answer, you have to understand your own experience and relationship to cultural conceptions of disability, for some it may not hold any importance.

One thing to keep in mind though is that even the label intersex is culturally tied to the medical industry, meaning historically intersex people have been seen as defective because our bodies do not conform to medical/physical and social standards (resulting in abuse and exclusion). I suggest looking into disability justice before coming to any conclusions, and to understand that it is human culture which marginalizes intersex people and disabled people.

I would say if you have access needs in relation to being intersex (this includes hormones, which affect our entire body), but have experienced medical abuse, neglect (denial of issues, ignoring hormonal and physical needs in favour of conformity), had to pay or fight for your right to have access to things you need in relation to being intersex, then claiming the term disabled might be of use to you.

Think of structural issues that have impacted your intersex experience, it may not be relevant to some people, but for some it may be even more relevant than you think. If you’ve said/though “there’s nothing inherently wrong with being intersex, it’s just social perceptions, so I’m not disabled”, question why that does not also apply to disabled people.

[intersex-support]

I don’t know what happened to the ask that mentioned this, but intersex people and trans/nonbinary people do have a lot in common. I don’t think that’s a statement that is untrue, and I think that it’s a belief that a lot of dyadic trans and nonbinary people hold, I also think that we can take that a step further and say that intersex people share similarities and struggles with any group that experiences marginalization based on the strict/binary colonial gender system. Essentially that’s why intersex as a community exists, to define our experiences of marginalization and create a boundary of who we are/who we aren’t in order to bring our voices and narratives to the table. 

We have fundamental difference between us and our dyadic peers, but historically before we created (or while we were beginning to organize ourselves) our own sorts of communities, we were a huge part of the building of the LGBT+ community and shared a lot of struggles. I also think that intersex people have contributed a lot to feminism, a lot of intersex people of color connect their identity to speaking on racial injustice, a lot of intersex people share a lot in common with and consider themselves apart of the disabled community.

Before we say that intersex people are or are not inherently a part of a certain community, I think we need to recognize that intersex people have been a part of and advocated for and existed alongside multiple communities since the beginning. I think we owe it to those who came before us to learn about the alliances and achievements they had together, the relationships and understanding and power that came form us listening to each other and allying together while staying true to our differences.

Acronym discourse I would say is ultimately useless, because we were here before it, our history has just been erased and hidden behind shame and paywalls. Inclusion means including our narratives and voices regardless of if we are somehow inherently a part of a community. 

[intersex-support]

Can Intersex People be Included in Pride Month?

Yes everyone, it’s that time of year again, the time of year where everyone wants to know if intersex people should be included in pride. Everyone always wants to know if intersex people are LGBTQ+, or even if we are “inherently queer” and I, gracefully, will be giving you a clear cut answer.

That’s a lie, because there is no clear cut answer. Intersex people and the LGBTQ+ community have a very long, very complex, and often times very depressing history together. For a long time as a marginalized group, we were forcefully considered to be queer (and I mean queer as in a negative lens by our shared oppressors, not a reclaimed and liberating label that we were allowed to choose) because of our bodies. A lot of our medical trauma is enforced by the idea there is a perfect cisgender heterosexual body.

You could say that this makes us inherently LGBTQ+, or you could not. An intersex person might say that because we have been forced into this category, they would rather us build up our own community and resources and rather us be separate communities that support and uplift each other. A cisgender heterosexual intersex person who has never felt any kind of connection to being LGBTQ+ could just not relate to our struggles at all, maybe said intersex person goes their whole life without knowing they’re intersex and never thinks about it.

The reality is that not all intersex people are inherently LGBTQ+. The reality also is that some of us have no choice but to be LGBTQ+. This is not a black and white situation, and there could be so many reasons not listed above as to why an intersex person has the opinion that they have.

Your takeaway as a dyadic person should be: it’s none of your business. 

Intersex people, whether we are considered to be inherently LGBTQ+, we deserve to have pride and to engage in pride month if we want to. We are allowed to spread awareness, positivity, wear our flags and colors, want to be acknowledged for everything we have done for and with the LGBTQ+ community. The only thing inherent about us in this sense is that we are allowed to celebrate and be visible if we so choose. If that doesn’t answer your question, you are probably missing the point and it shows your lack of education on intersex issues and activism.

I’ll end on the note of happy pride and solidarity to all intersex people. For some of us this month might not be easy, I’m still hoping that you get the chance to feel like something good is happening for us.