Some Thoughts on Large vs Small Spirit Families
Back in the day I used to see a lot of people claiming that “if you work with a large number of spirits you don’t actually care about them” or “you can’t just collect spirits” or “you shouldn’t have more than x amount” and whatnot. I see less of that nowadays, but that may be due to lessened activity in Witchblr (or just that I’m not digging around as much).
Anyways, here’s my two cents as someone who works with spirits
This is all highly dependent on context and the intent behind said relationships. I don’t think any sort of hard rule of “no more than x spirits” can ever apply unilaterally. But it is very possible to get in over your head with these things, or to be unfair/unintentionally harmful in these types of relationships. Some things to consider:
What kind of beings are you working with? Are these creatures that are 100% fully and totally dependent on you to exist or thrive? The more active a presence you or the spirit need to be in the other’s existence, obviously the fewer beings you should involve yourself with. Don’t wanna spread yourself too thin or accidentally drop your promised obligations.
What is the purpose of this relationship? Is it strictly business – you provide offerings in exchange for magical assistance? Is there a mentor-student dynamic between the two of you? Is it a romantic involvement? Are you just buddies that chill over drinks now and then? Or is this a spirit you just met in passing and don’t currently have any intention of contacting again? Your level of commitment to a spirit is a key factor in how many you should involve yourself with. Make sure there’s fair reciprocation on both sides and that all parties involved feel they are getting what they want out of this relationship.
To put these concepts into practice –
The majority of the beings I work with are living entities from other realms. Essentially, they are communicating with me, astral traveling to me, or using bilocation in the same way that we in this realm would astral travel to other worlds. So that means that most of these beings have other, physical lives to attend to. They might have jobs, family, or other obligations. They also, most importantly, are having their physical needs met in their home realm. I can offer them food, drinks, energy, or other gifts in this realm, but these beings do not require them from me to survive.
So in cases like these, I don’t need to be paying constant attention to each and every being. We check in regularly, much like how you might visit a friend once or twice a month. Sometimes we plan more in-depth activities on a schedule, but that’s on an individual basis. Amongst these beings, there are a small amount that may hang around me much more frequently, but that’s due to a lack of obligations in their home realm.
On the flip side of things, some practitioners may want to only work with one or two beings, but that’s either purely personal preference (nothing wrong with that!) or because their level of involvement with said beings is enough that adding any more to the group would be unfair or would complicate things. Maybe these beings do require daily upkeep in order to thrive, or feel uncomfortable with too many others being around/overcrowded environments. Just like with our physical friends in this world, some may enjoy large chaotic gatherings while others want an intimate get-together and still others may enjoy either depending on context.
It IS important to note that there are people out there who go about all this in a less-that-desirable way. What sort of attitude do they have about their companions? Are they referred to more as a collectible, like a beanie baby? Or are they treated like a living, breathing person with feelings? It’s fairly easy to spot the red flags if you know what to look for. I personally am wary of anyone who talks about their spirit families in a very transient, shallow sort of way, as if they are looking more to show off what wild and unique creatures they have befriended, rather than just talking about these beings like one would tell a story about a friend/coworker/teacher.
Anyhow, this is a little more rambling than I originally intended, but –
TL;DR no one but you can decide how small or large your spirit family “should” be, and as long as everyone involved is benefitting/having their end of any bargain upheld, that’s all that matters. Don’t gatekeep just because someone’s practice is different than yours; if no one is being hurt or unjustly sidelined then it’s not your business. Have fun out there everyone!
