(1/2) My self image, for a lacked of better words, is complete garbage. Im scared no one will ever think of me as a real man, just, a freak of a man with female genitals. I feel too fat,putrid really, im afraid to eat anymore. It makes me feel gross. The only reason ive been eating lately is cause i have to at least once a day for my meds. I feel, stupid. I cant process what people say often, cant remember anything, it makes people angry. Cruel, i feel in a way, i keep upsetting people without
(2/2) meaning to. I dont know what im doing wrong wIth makes me want to go mute. I feel like such a burden. I have no confidence or pride anymore, its all gone, theres nothing good in me anymore. Im angry and bitter and stupid, im wrong in toi many ways. I hate myself more than i can put into words. //Little King John from Ratboy Genius if you can? Sorry that this ask ended up so lengthy;;
Hey. Peoples’ self image is bullshit. Baby once said she didn’t like her smile- ergo, self image is bullshit.
An exercise to do is look in a mirror and say, “what a manly man. Yes, this man here is a good man.” It helps.
Feeling bodily dysphoria is unfortunately a large part of gender dysphoria.
But humans need to eat- don’t starve yourself. Not eating won’t help your self image, it’ll nosedive it.
You can process things at your own speed and whoever gets angry at you for how your brain works deserves the death penalty, thanks
I- I understand what you mean about upsetting others without meaning to. All we can do is try our best and when we stumble make up for it where we can and move forward.
Take pride in being here, in survival itself. You’ve gone through shit and feel like shit but you’re still here, and you’re still fightin, and that’s something to be proud of. The trick for confidence is pretending. Act confident before you can be confident.
As for the self hate... it’ll settle. I’m not saying it will go away, but it’ll settle and become manageable and some days you can even like yourself. Focus on your good qualities and improving those. Only if you’re feeling a little braver than usual should you try to tackle some of your less pleasant qualities, which everyone has.
