Discover Top Posts Tagged with #modelminority

COMPLICATING NO CONTACT WITH CULTURE. If anyone else in my life refused to accept that I am sick and disabled, insisted I act as if I am not, was consistently dismissive of me, and was controlling to the point of making decisions on my behalf, I would cut them out. But I don’t want to cut out my family. I love my family, I love the raucous parties and the hoards of screaming children. I love having lumpia and roast beef on the same plate, with vinegar chili sauce on the side. I love the short hand I have with my cousins, the understanding that comes with having shared our childhoods. I hate our toxic family culture: the lack of communication, the strict hierarchy of the generations, the way we can name abuse as it happens but strip it from our minds immediately after. While I brace myself for our interactions, I also find that other parts of myself relax. In our white dominated society, I take on the role of #ModelMinority or the Exotic Ethnic. I find myself explaining my otherness constantly, if not tucking it away to be more approachable. Among other Filipinx people, I question whether or not I am Filipino enough. With my family, I am exactly the kind of Filipino I need to be. If I give up my family, I give up nearly all of my connections with my culture and my childhood. I’m in an interracial relationship! My only family culture would be one I do not share. I value my family, even if they only value a certain version of me. Maybe that’ll change in the future, (I suspect it will) but for now, I’m holding on. #Asian #AsianDiaspora #AsianMentalHealth #Filipinx #Filipino #ChronicIllness #InvisibleIllness #Sick #SickGirlsClub #Spoonie #POCwME #Disabled #DisabledPOC #InvisibleDisability #DisabilityAdvocate #MedicalAbuse #Ableism #Crip #Trauma #ToxicPeople #ToxicFamily #IntergenerationalTrauma #ComplexPTSD #FamilyTrauma #Queer https://www.instagram.com/p/B7oU0ZyAqQN/?igshid=18o9ero8y70zo

lakme fashion week

Designers from various provinces and all walks of life throughout India are showcasing styles that adhere to the central culture of Indian beauty, whilst also abstractly representing new values in a modern India.

Rohit Bal, who showcased Kashmiri styles with Kashmiri women, demonstrated that beauty shines through in every strong woman. His collection “Guldastah,” is a special one to him, as it represents his background; “It’s a simple explanation. I come from Kashmir. I am a Kashmiri, I know what’s happening in the state. I grew up in a free Kashmir and unfortunately now it’s a warzone.” He says during his interview to IANS.

As an Asian-American, did you ever want to blame your parents for all the stress and mental dishealth in your life?

...but maybe the blame should have been elsewhere.

If you grew up as an Asian-American, there’s a high chance you had strict parents who emphasized hard work and self-discipline above all else and favored emotional repression which is often seen in our culture as a sign of weakness and immaturity. You may have felt like all the extra “stress” you felt was so unfair, especially when compared to your non-Asian peers who seemed to have “chill” and more “loving” parents. This may have led to long-growing resentment towards your own parents and even a desire to have “white parents” instead. And maybe as you grew older, you started appreciating your parents more when you realized you were doing “well” in the world (academic exellence, financial security...) but when the panic attacks or overwhelming stress still inevitably hit you, you can’t help but once again shift the blame back to your parents. The reason I can write about this in such detail is because this was the process I went through as I grew up. One minute I’d blame my parents for all my mental health woes, and the next minute I’d appreciate them for being strict and pushing me to my best. But in those moments I blamed them, I mean, I really blamed them. I felt so much anger and resentment. There were moments of loud screaming back and forth and the slamming of doors. Moments of crying and feeling like my worthlessness was caused because of my parents.

And then, I read this article: https://planamag.com/why-are-asian-american-kids-killing-themselves-477a3f6ea3f2

I really encourage anyone who has struggled with emotions similar to mine to give this a read. And if you didn’t have the experience I did but know of an Asian friend who has felt anger or sadness because for similar reasons, please read this as well.

Asian-American teens have the highest suicide rates amongst rates of all the races in America. Considering this problem is worth your time, whether you are Asian or not.

The basic argument in this article is that Asian-Americans need to “SHIFT” their blaming of parents and Asian culture for all their mental health problems and instead blame American racism towards Asians. (White)-American culture tell Asians in America that the reason for their unhappiness, stress, and mental dishealth = oppressive parenting. This leads distraught Asian-American teens and young adults to blame their parents for their problems, which only worsens the relationship between these kids and their parents. Do these parents have ‘enlightened’ moments and change? Likely not. The effect of blaming of parents usually just becomes an even more damaged relationship. So this idea that our parents are to blame for all of our problems might not be the right idea. Maybe it’s the idea that we were brainwashed by WHITE PPL to think. Instead, maybe we should shift the blame to the model minority foreigner LABEL we have been given by Americans ... one that says only American culture is right, Asian culture is wrong, Asian parents are evil, Asian parents are the cause of Asian-American suicide rates, etc.

A notable excerpt:

“We must shift our blame onto the model minority, perpetual foreigner, and Orientalist stereotypes that constitute our oppression.

Despite our familiarity with these tropes, we are unable to believe they produce real consequences on our well-being. They are the root of our hypocritical views on Asian families and mental health resources’ failure to earn the trust of Asian clients. When a therapist or counselor believes that Asian Americans suffer solely because of familial pressures, they buy into the idea that Asian families are unnatural and inhuman. When they refuse to consider the effects of racially rooted stress on their client’s mental state, they uphold the outdated belief that Asians cannot possibly be affected by racism. Little wonder that the follow-up rate for Asian Americans who do visit therapists is virtually nonexistent. At some level, we understand that heaping criticism on our families neither helps us understand ourselves nor provides a practical solution for our problems.”

I think growing up as a teen, I definitely got brainwashed into thinking the sole cause of my unhappiness = my parents upbringing style and lack of emphasis on emotional health. It’s not only until college and post grad that I’m like hmm... could it be...this is actually the result of ... racism? People in this country are shocked when Asians try to make a claim that we are victims of racism in this country. They’d like to tell us that our problems are rooted in our cultural values and in our strict parents. Hmm...western cultural explanations for our problems, problems that westerners don’t actually understand but act like they do? Are they to be so readily taken for truth? And all this was very sobering to take in because in some ways I feel like I unfairly blamed my parents for everything when racism towards Asians in America has a LOT of responsibility as well. And I can’t help but think if Asian-American kids banded together against model minority racism rather than just go home and fight with and blame their parents, we could make more mental health progress.

Some of us might still insist that Asian parents are at fault here. And yes, I don’t disagree that they are faultless. But let’s just CONSIDER the possibility that there is more to this story than solely blaming the mom and dad who more often than not just want the best for us and just want us to live a “better” life than many of them did. Our western peers might want to BRUSH OFF our problems with the simple explanation of “your parents caused you to turn out this way”, but how would they really understand and why are we so eager to believe their explanations as ultimate truth?

This article was an eye-opener for me, and I hope more thought and discussion on this topic can come about. I wanted to show my brother this article at first, but considering how much jargon is in there, I had a feeling he wouldn’t read past the second paragraph. But people in my brother’s age range are needing to hear about this stuff more than ever. If a popular Asian youtuber could bring this to light, that would be cool. If you could strike a conversation or share the article to someone you feel would read and relate to this, that would be cool. I wonder how many other people have only pointed fingers at Asian parents for much of the emotional trauma Asian-American students have experienced, and I wonder how many would be shocked at seeing this age-old issue in a new light.

#modelminority #asianamerican #aapi #shiftingtheblame