#modernizations

[nugrozstone]

Dream Lands Design Five Home and Garden Modernizations That Weren’t Available 20 Years Ago Things come, things go, things break, and things get repaired. Some things pass through time and... To see more... https://www.dreamlandsdesign.com/ Thank you...

[apprenticeship-operator-cnc-blog]

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[astorytotry]

Zeus Is Dead: A Monstrously Inconvenient Adventure

A comedy-fantasy by Michael G. Munz

You probably saw the press conference. Nine months ago, Zeus's murder catapulted the Greek gods back into our world. Now they revel in their new temples, casinos, and media empires--well, all except Apollo. A compulsive overachiever with a bursting portfolio of godly duties, the amount of email alone that he receives from rapacious mortals turns each of his days into a living hell.

Yet there may be hope, if only he can return Zeus to life! With the aid of Thalia, the muse of comedy and science fiction, Apollo will risk his very godhood to help sarcastic TV producer Tracy Wallace and a gamer-geek named Leif--two mortals who hold the key to Zeus's resurrection. (Well, probably. Prophecies are tricky buggers.)

Soon an overflowing inbox will be the least of Apollo's troubles. Whoever murdered Zeus will certainly kill again to prevent his return, and avoiding them would be far easier if Apollo could possibly figure out who they are.

Even worse, the muse is starting to get cranky.

[amcorley-blog]

Novellas

I've reached the part of 'Lives of the Novel' where he talks about novellas. They're short, unitary things, Pavel says, that show a single aspect or element of human life. Most of the novellas he discusses are by like Boccaccio, but I thought it would be fun to try bringing some of them into the modern world, just as outlines: 

Ulrico--Rick is going away for an extended work trip to somewhere like Sasketchewan, but he's worried that his girlfriend Ursula will cheat on him with either her yoga teacher or their neighbor, so before leaving home Rick installs security cameras in most of the rooms of their house, and then monitors Ursula's behavior while he's gone. As it turns out both the yoga teacher and the neighbor are lecherous, but Ursula is humorously faithful. She spends time with each of them, encourages their interest, but once they come over to her apartment she feigns injury or weakness and convinces them to do home improvement or other tasks she doesn't have the time for. Rick is overjoyed, and resolves to marry Ursula when he gets home. But then, when Ursula convinces the yoga teacher to repaint the bedroom walls, he discovers the camera hidden in the moulding, and eventually Rick is found out. She breaks up with him, quite angrily, and runs off with one or both of the suitors. 

[In the original, it's a magic mirror, and Ursula never finds out, and the couple are happy forever, but the real point is how tricky she is with the suitors.]

Locrino--Lorne, a theatre administrator, works for a well-known theatre with a philandering big-name donor. When the donor meets Lorne's spectacular girlfriend, the actress Dorrie, at a party, he's insistent that Dorrie come audition--but Lorne knows that the donor will exploit or molest Dorrie, so he resists. He's punished at work, and confides his unhappiness to Dorrie, who gets him a better job at a different theatre. But just then Dorrie, previously starving, gets a big, possibly career-making part with a third theatre whose higher-ups are also known to philander. She begins spending longer and longer hours at this third theatre, practicing her part--but Lorne, who's awkwardly aware of the 'cast her to sleep with her' model in effect at his old theatre, assumes that she must be cheating on him with the director, and becomes unhappy. Dorrie saves the day, though, by leaving the part over sexual harassment and confiding in Lorne. They both quit working in the arts and get jobs at google. 

[In the original, it's feudal lords rather than employers, and Locrino gets worried that she's dead, not that she's cheating. And they flee to Constantinople, not google. It's funny how easily feudal lords map onto modern employers.]

Decameron 4.9 - Revenge porn, basically. 

Decameron 4.8 - Jordan, deeply in love with Selena but recently notified by facebook that she's in a relationship with someone else, climbs up to her apartment by the fire escape and, in a gesture equal parts solipsistic and anti-solipsistic, blends his iPhone using her Blend-tec blender (a gift from her boyfriend) and pours the contents into her bed. Jordan's theory is that, having destroyed the mechanism of his learning about Selena's affair, the affair will cease to exist. But instead he's knocked unconscious by the toxic fumes, and then wakes up with an enormous headache on the floor of her apartment. Selena hasn't been home, and Jordan climbs back out the fire escape, literally just missing landing on the head of Selena. Neither notice the other. Selena, exhausted from a romantic weekend with her boyfriend, falls into bed and sustains several small cuts from the shards of glass Jordan has left on her bedspread. She treats them with rubbing alcohol and antibiotics, launders her bedclothes, and never discovers why anyone would break into her apartment to leave glass on top of her duvet. 

Novelle - Nick and Larry are dating, but Larry has a crush on the extremely attractive Christian. Nick makes fake twitter and grindr accounts making fun of Christians interests and mannerisms as an act of private vengeance, but is mortified when Christian finds them. Christian, though, is completely flattered that anyone would go to such trouble to make fun of him, and furthermore feels that the maker of the account must know him better than anybody, and embarks on a quest to find the maker of the fake accounts, who he might be in love with. As app-developer Christian draws closer and closer to figuring out who's behind it, Nick (not aware of Christian's affection for the mocker) panics and frames his twin brother Paul as the account-faker. Then everyone falls in love with who they're supposed to and gets married, except for Nick and Larry, who can't, because Larry is sentimental about not getting married until everyone can, everywhere.