May 23, 2024
I binge watched the entire Matrix series yesterday. I haven't watched any of them since they released and they've aged really well. After playing cyberpunk, I can notice a lot of theme inspirations. 10/10. Good story, even the new one.
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I binge watched the entire Matrix series yesterday. I haven't watched any of them since they released and they've aged really well. After playing cyberpunk, I can notice a lot of theme inspirations. 10/10. Good story, even the new one.
One of the most crushing things I've been told recently was by someone I loved. I felt seen by them, which is huge for me. I felt acknowledged and cared about. I felt intimacy for the first time. And then after the love drunkenness faded, I get slapped with "I can't even look at you because you changed your appearance" and then left to wonder what I did wrong for a month and a half, and then when I tried to reach out and cut the silence, I'm told "I miss my friend" followed immediately by "oh by the way, I'm seeing someone". Fucking ouch. I guess they didn't like me coming out as trans, that's literally all I can attribute it to. Had this shit all under control until someone decided my heart was a plaything.
I'm really starting to think I might have synaesthesia. Hmm. Gonna have to research more, but the more I let my brain run wild, the more I think I'm mixing my senses and that's why I'm overstimulated a lot and why most of my thought process has been so outlandish to so many people. But it would also explain why I love books, art, music, movies, video games so much because I'm not just consuming media, but absolutely absorbed in it because it's overloading my mind.
Ugh... I beat the new Life is Strange and it's side story today. I love these stories and their characters. Makes me eager for the remasters. They're great emotionally driven stories and I love getting lost in them.
Ugh. I've been romanticizing the idea of moving cross country for the past week. It feels like a dream and I want it so bad than to be stuck here anymore.
I'm trying to think of an actual plan and stop being so sporadic and uncaring about my daily life, but this shit is killing me.
I don't really even know where I want to go. Oregon? Washington? Colorado even? Gonna have to think more.
Wstajesz wczesnym rankiem, ale kilka drzemek później niż pierwszy dźwięk budzika. Zwlekasz się z łóżka w miarę prędko, lecz i tak musisz wyjść, szaleńczo gnać. Przypominasz sobie o remoncie dróg i pojmujesz, że autobusy różnie jeżdżą. Ze ślinką w ustach spoglądasz na śniadanie, ale ze łzami w oczach się z nim żegnasz. Pospiesznie maszerujesz jak Korzeniowski, choć podczas deszczu możesz nawet pływać. Wsiadasz do autobusu i jedziesz, nieistotne gdzie. Tak naprawdę jeszcze śpisz i nienawidzisz siebie za to, że z otwartymi oczami. Nie rozśmieszyłby Cię nawet Jaś Fasola, choć jasiek położony na szybie wprawiłby w stan ekstazy. Nagle pojawia się on! Wsiada! Towarzysz podróży, całkiem niemile widziany. Kiedy spogląda na wolne miejsce obok Ciebie, Ty wciąż poszukujesz rzeczonej poduchy na oknie. I nie unikasz go w obawie przed rozmowami o pogodzie, a wręcz odwrotnie – koleś nigdy nie zamyka jadaczki. Ekstrawertyk, krasomówca, kaznodzieja. Gada nieprzerwanie. O serialach, o sporcie, o niespełnionej miłości. O kurwa wszystkim. Tylko dlaczego akurat teraz, gdy właśnie odsypiasz noc? Brzmi znajomo? No właśnie. Każdy zna kogoś takiego. Poznaj więc kolejnego z nich. ___ Chcesz czytać dalej? Wejdź na stronę elquatro.pl!