May 18, 2024
Starting some new meds today..
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Starting some new meds today..
Ugh. Real talk lol
I just had a shouting match with some idiot at the gas station because as I was pulling up, I saw not one, but FOUR fucking people at the same pump lighting up cigarettes. Like... Do I really need to explain that? They tried saying "it's diesel, we're fueling diesel!" As if there wasnt another car sharing the opposite pump, also fueling with what didn't look like diesel, so... Do I blame situational awareness or the local gene pool.. cause damn.
Today is the first day I've officially used my name outside of family and friends. Felt refreshing and liberating to have an unknown future.
Name change!
I've finally settled on a full name and decided to change it today. Keeping the pic, though.
Found my Gate Keep
Even found my Girl Boss
But I refuse to Gas Light
And keep Them growing like Moss
Huh. Been doing a little dive today and stumbled across the music in the Siege of Madrigal from Bungie's game, Myth. I've always known of it as an Easter egg in Halo and Destiny, but today, I learned that the event of the actual siege of Madrigal in the game takes place on my birthday, and I think that's awesome.
I've been testing out a name change in my head for the past few months, haven't shared it anywhere, but I think I've finally found something that fits me and I love. I've been feeling a lot more whole lately.
One of the most crushing things I've been told recently was by someone I loved. I felt seen by them, which is huge for me. I felt acknowledged and cared about. I felt intimacy for the first time. And then after the love drunkenness faded, I get slapped with "I can't even look at you because you changed your appearance" and then left to wonder what I did wrong for a month and a half, and then when I tried to reach out and cut the silence, I'm told "I miss my friend" followed immediately by "oh by the way, I'm seeing someone". Fucking ouch. I guess they didn't like me coming out as trans, that's literally all I can attribute it to. Had this shit all under control until someone decided my heart was a plaything.