In 2025 I went dancing for the first time. I danced with another girl for the first time. I had alcohol for the first time. I traveled to another city alone, for the first time. I spent the night at a friends place for the first time. I smoked weed for the first time. I went to the club for the first time. I smoked my first cigarette. I had a over 30 minute conversation with a man, for the first time. I finally passed an exam I had failed three times prior. I sat by a fire in the desert with the girl I have a small but powerful crush on.
On Jan 1st of 2025, my own mother strangled me. And my father threatened to send me away to a mental institution, for disobeying her, for trying to defend myself, for trying to fight back.
In 2025, I was contacted by a lady who I had met two years prior, the dean of one of our largest universities here in the capital, to come and visit the campus for a meeting. She contacted me this year saying, I remember you from two years ago, you were so interesting. Please come and see me. When I arrived she introduced me to her assistant and offered me a job at the university straight after graduation. Right before I left, my mother told me I looked big, and that I was a horrible communicator, that everyone who came into my life would leave me after speaking to me.
In 2025, I illustrated and wrote my first original picturebook for the final semester of my art school. One of Swedens top critics in the field said that she was impressed. One of Norways most prolific picturebook authors contacted me privately telling me to please continue working on it, including a line by line edit of how to improve, what works and what doesnt.
In 2025, the main professor of the art course I took contacted me about 4 months after graduation, asking me to make and present any project of my choosing for the new students of the upcoming term. During my presentation, the critic showed up, to the surprise of both me and my professor. She had cancelled another event to come and watch me present live. Because of how much she believed in me. I was scheduled to present for an hour, but ended up presenting and answering questions for almost two. Afterwards both my professor and the critic asked me to email them my project, the first picturebook I had made in my native language, so that they could take a closer look at it. I also got paid for this. They told me to take it to publishers.
In 2025, I finally decided to leave my abusive childhood home, and with help from my sister and friends, have made arrangements to move back to my home country. This is being done in secret. I am legally dependent on my guardian to be granted exit visas for the country. If he doesnt grant it, I cant leave the country. After months and months of planning and secret arrangements, on december the 28th, I got the notification that my exit visa was granted. I am leaving mid of Jan next year. My parents think I am going to be there for a residency lasting two weeks, an offer that my former professor helped to fake. But I am not coming back. I know they wont accept it. I dont know how long theyll cut me off for. I dont know if they will try to find me, if they will hurt me. I dont know when ill be able to see my younger brothers again. I dont know anything about my homecountry. I dont know anything. But im still doing it. I dont know what will happen, but I will still make it happen.
In 2026, for the first time in my life, in my 23 years of life, I wont have to answer to my parents. I wont have to answer to anyone. I will only have to answer to myself. And I will make it. Inshallah, I will make it.
