Im tired. Im lonely. I feel sick. I want to sleep but I can't sleep. Its 3:30 AM. I just want someone to love me and hug me and cuddle me and tell me the world is a fucked up shitty place and just say mean things to the world because the world is mean to me. But I don't have that now, do I? So! A quick self-indulgent seungmin fic because I want comfort and I wanna talk shit about the world. Because people are shit. Except Stray Kids. And real STAYs. Hopefully I'll sleep after this.
"Can you talk shit about the world with me?"
Kim Seungmin x Reader (might not be gender neutral cuz, again, this is a self comfort fic sorta thing so feminine pronouns might be used.)
Warning: harsh words. Lots of harsh words. Being sick.
Fucked up days. Fucked up weeks. Fucked up months. Fucked fucked fucked. That is ALL you can think about. Everything is going wrong. You're sick, bedridden. And you HATE being bedridden. Its the worst! The constant headaches, the runny and stuffed nose, the coughing, the blocked ears from the cold, the fever. Everything is fucked.
Sometimes you feel hot, sometimes you feel cold. "Just fucking choose, you bitch of a body!!" You curse yourself, genuinely wanting to cry.
Its 3:35 AM. You feel sick and tired, unable to sleep. The nightmares don't help. The constant feeling of loneliness don't help. You want to call for someone, but who in their right minds would just pop up at almost 4 in the fucking morning?? And even if they do, you'll just feel like a burden.
But not to him. Kim Seungmin. Your best friend. Ruthless with his words, kind with his actions. You called him and he picked up by the fourth and a half ring. "Y/N..? What's wrong..?" He asked in a groggy tone, evident that he was sleeping.
Just hearing his voice was enough. Enough to start the waterworks. "S-seungmin..." You sniffled, tears streaming down your burning cheeks.
You heard shuffling noises, probably seungmin sitting up. "Hey hey, are you crying?? The hell? What's wrong??", he asked warily. God, you loved him so much.
"I can't do this shit anymore, min..." You choked, wiping away your tears only for fresh ones to spill out. "World is so shit!! I just wanna cuddle and talk shit about the world the way it's always so shit with me." You cried, letting yourself breakdown.
"uhhh fuck, okay. Gimme a few, I'll be right there." Seungmin said, and by the sound, it seemed he was far from his phone. The call dropped abruptly and you just hugged your knees and sobbed. You've held on for too long.
A while of sobbing later, you suddenly heard your doorbell ring. Was it...? It... It couldn't be, right? There's no way.
You dragged yourself out of bed and out of your room. You were panting from the walk from your bed to the door, the fever making you lethargic.
And just when you opened the door, Seungmin walked in, holding a bag of meds, some light snacks, warm porridge and green tea from the convenience store.
"holy fuck, you look like you're dying!" Despite his attempts to maintaining his usual tone, his concern and worry made its way through. He held your face gently, rubbing his thumbs on your cheeks soothingly. "And you're burning up!"
He led you to the dining table and placed the bowl of porridge and green tea in front of you, "eat." He ordered. You were about to whine but quickly decided otherwise when you saw his glare.
You swallowed before reluctantly taking a spoonful of porridge and taking a bite. Just as you took the bite, you felt a pat on your back. Seungmin stroked your back soothingly.
The warmth of both the porridge and his soothing gesture just made you break out into tears. You started ugly crying, snot and everything. But you didn't care. Because it was just Seungmin. He might seem like he'll make fun of you, but he knows you're vulnerable. And he doesn't make fun of someone's vulnerability.
Maybe when you feel better enough to joke about it, he will. But for now, all he wants to do is give you some love and comfort. He gave you the medicines and took you to your room, laying down beside you.
"you'll catch a cold from me..." "Then I'll make you take care of me."
He pulled the blanket over the two of you, holding you close to his chest. You melted in his arms, the medicine starting to soothe you just a little.
"can you talk shit about the world with me?"
"the world is fucked." Seungmin answered, his eyes closed. "Why don't you talk shit instead? I'll listen. Im sure you've got a lot of shit to say."
You nodded slowly, sniffling one last time until the dam that held everything together finally broke.
"it's shit. Its so fucking shit. The world is a god damn whore. Like, what the fuck do you mean I have to be sick and then get an earful from people cuz 'im alwags laying around'??? Bitch, do you even hear yourself?! Your pathetic ass can't even spell lethargic and you're telling me?!"
The rant started, and you started going on and on and on about it. Seungmin listened, nodding and throwing in a few insults himself to let you know that he was still there, listening. All while he stroked your head gently and pat your back softly.
The meds started taking effect and you started feeling drowsy. And soon, before you even knew it, you had fallen asleep in the middle of your rant.
Seungmin pulled away just enough to look at you, gazing fondly at your sleeping form. He might be a menace, but he is a loving menace.
He pressed a tender kiss to the top of your head and held you close, close enough to comfort you but also let you breathe.
"good night, puppy."
Im done crying, gonna go sleep now *sob sob* and I finished this in 25 minutes, WOOHOOOOO
"Would it be really be bad if suddenly I don't know just vanish?..." - "You know I'd give myself up before letting you leave."
"Can you feel it?" - "How it quickens when I'm near? Yes."
"Is it bad that for once maybe you'll chose me instead?" - "Darling there was never another option other than you."
"Maybe we'll see each other again?" - "I'd do anything just to catch a glimpse of you."
"Should I let the sky fall or you?" - "Neither but if you had to choose I know it'd be me."
"Can i ask for another taste or is it also taken?" - "It will be if you reserved first."
"Will I be forgotten?.." - "No...I don't think so, you already left a permanent mark the moment you've left."
"Pick one, her or me." - "You know I'd choose her."
"You know being remembered isn't all great..." - "Yea is that why you decided to give me a concussion?"
"Times wasted! put on your clothes and run." - "I just finished?! Not even a hello first?!"
Some more chaotic ones.
- "Listen when life gives you lemons, you squeeze those juices in their eyes!"
- "Not everything is about food, sometimes it's about drinks...so no I will not give up my fifth bottle of wine..."
- "Can i ravage everything? Even you?"
- "Listen a baby is too much for our unstable financial crisis but that doesn't mean I can't spoil myself."
- "Brains function greatly at times, I guess this isn't one of those."
- "Listen I would rather choke on a piece of lemon than wear that atrocious outfit at a party." -The outfit is a dinosaur costume.-
- "I'm bored...So can I ask this-" - "No. Go to sleep." "Okay."
- "So you gave him a chocolate?...and he got a sugar rush and decided to jump over the fence and throw water balls at the neighbor..." - "Correction, he was just being a himself."
- "Should I even ask what happen here? Why is [Name] doing a handstand while hula hooping? Why [Name] has a water gun but instead of it filled with water it's juice and....Should I even ask what you did to [Name] cause currently he's tied up and against a target sign." - "....Hello boss.."
- "No! [Name] You cannot punch a someone just cause they spill water on you accidentally...They took your one dollar bill? Go at them!!!"
ᯓᡣ𐭩Mxlist°
I may or maybe have gotten a bit crazy thinking some stuff up ¦D but that's okay as seungmin says - It's easier to live with a few loose screws!
I'll add some more stuff if I can think more stuff! No I am not high just no thoughts!
