meeting him after the breakup
im changkyun * ༉‧₊˚*:･
»Oreos,« I whispered to myself and walked to the shelf with the Oreos. I stood on my tiptoes and tried to reach it but failed miserably. »Let me help you.« I heard next to me and saw how someone reached for the Oreos before handing them to me. I looked up after I identified his voice. »Oh,« he mumbled. »How have you been?« he asked and faked a smile. I couldn’t figure out if he faked a smile to me or if he faked a smile to himself. I couldn’t even look away from his eyes which looked darker than before.
»Could be better,« I mumbled and spared a glance down. »How about you?« I asked in return. »Busy, like always,« he said and pulled his mask up when he saw other people entering the store. »I should go,« I said and made my way to the cash register.
I quickly paid for my stuff and made my way out of the store. »Hey,« I heard his voice again and stopped walking. I turned around and met his eyes again. »Yeah?« He sighed before walking towards me. »Do you maybe have time to hang out one day?« he asked and I furrowed my eyebrows.
»I always have time, you are the one who doesn’t,« I said and indirectly reminded him of the reason why we broke up. »I know but-« I didn’t let him speak further. »There is no but, Changkyun. If it would’ve been so easy to just meet up, then we both wouldn’t have broken up,« I said and lowered my gaze.
»I need to go,« I said after I realized that he was not going to say anything else. I turned around and wanted to leave but he held onto my wrist. »Don’t go,« he pleaded. »All of a sudden?« I scoffed. »Please hear me out,« he said and tried to hold my hand but I backed off.
»No, you hear me out,« I said. »You can’t break up with me because of the lack of time we had and then ask me if I have time to hang out with me. Do you even listen to yourself?« I lashed out. »I do listen to myself. But do you even listen to me?« he said monotone. »I did listen to you. Three months ago.« I got tears in my eyes for whatever reason.
»No you didn’t. You didn’t even let me speak that day. You didn’t want to listen any further after I told you that I want to break up because of the fact that we can’t spend time together!« he said angry. »Who the fuck would listen after their partner says that he wants to break up? What the hell is the use in listening when you already made up your mind?« I fired back and wiped my tears away.
»You! You always listened to me! But that moment you suddenly didn’t? You didn’t even ask any further. You deep down knew that the fact that we couldn’t spend much time together wasn’t the only reason why i wanted to break up,« he said in a lower tone. »Do I look like I can read your mind? How was I supposed to know-« I wanted to talk more but he came closer to me and sarcastically started laughing.
»Don’t fucking lie to me. You know everything about me. You even know stuff about me that nobody else does. So don’t you dare to lie to me!« he said angry and was only a few centimeters away from me. »Tell me the reason then,« I whispered. He looked at our surroundings and took my hand. »Too many people,« he whispered. »They could recognize me,« he said and walked me to his car.
He started to drive off and it was completely quiet in the car. Changkyun drove to my apartment, which I recognized when we started to pass by familiar surroundings. He stopped right in front of my apartment and right when I wanted to get off, he started to talk.
»I never wanted to break up,« he whispered. »One day before, I heard you talking on the phone with your best friend and I also heard how you started to cry because I was never home. I never had a problem with the lack of time. I always told myself that my love to you was stronger than the missed time. It is still pretty weird to me how couples break up just because they don’t have time for each other. I mean, we won’t stay like this forever but when I heard you crying, I thought that you would be better off without me,« he confessed. His hand was slightly shaking, so I put mine on his and gently stroked over the back of his hand.
»You should’ve told me about that,« I calmly spoke. »I know,« he said. »I thought breaking up with you, would help you to find someone who would always have time for you,« he explained and wiped his tears away. »That’s the dumbest shit I ever heard,« I laughed painfully. »Yeah, I realized that too,« he said.
I looked at him and gently wiped his tears away. »We can fix this,« I assured him. »Are you not supposed to be mad?« he asked. I laughed. »I am mad at you. I am mad that you thought that breaking up would solve this problem,« I confessed. »But I also know you and know that you would do anything to make me happy. I wonder why you didn’t understand that i need you to be happy and nothing else. Me crying on the phone was because i missed you, that’s right. But that does not mean that not having you would make me happier,« I explained.
»I am sorry,« he said. »We can fix this,« I told him and smiled. »But,« I started and looked him in the eyes. »If this happens on more time, then that’s it. You can’t break up with me to solve a problem like that,« I said. »It will never happen again, I promise, I will never let you go,« he said and kissed my temple.
