[themoonfeltmyfears]

masterlist

one shots

im changkyun

meeting him after the break up

he can’t fall sleep without you

struggling with depression

bathing after a long day

[themoonfeltmyfears]

bathing after a long day

Im Changkyun * ༉‧₊˚*:･ 

Pairing: Changkyun x reader

Genre: fluff

"Hey baby," Changkyun greeted me as soon as I entered the car. "Hello," I said smiling. "How was work?" he asked. I sighed and said, "Tiring and too long." He chuckled. "Yours?" I asked in return. »Tiring and very sweaty,« he said. »I just want to take a bath and then sleep for the whole weekend,« I mumbled and closed my eyes. »Sounds like a plan,« Changkyun replied. We drove home and I almost fell asleep on the way. When Changkyun parked the car he woke me up and I needed to reassure him to not carry me in. »The only thing that keeps me alive me right now is the thought of sitting in the bathtub,« I said and leaned against the wall in the elevator. »Let’s take a bath together,« he suggested and my cheeks probably looked like cherries. »Mhm, we can,« I said shy and we entered our apartment. »I will manage filling up the bathtub and you will sit in the bedroom and wait, okay?« he said and kissed my temple. 

I nodded my head. I went to our bedroom and also put out clothes to wear after the bath. I removed my makeup till I heard Changkyun calling me from the bathroom. I stepped into the bathroom and smiled. The water was purple with a lot of bubbles and he lighted up my favorite candles. »It looks so cute and pretty,« I told him. »Get in,« he said but I hesitated. »I will ignore the fact that I already saw everything about you but because I love you, I will turn around till you are in,« he said and turned around. I giggled and mumbled a “thank you”. I got out of my clothes quickly and stepped into the bathtub. »You can come in too,« I said finally and after a few seconds I felt him sitting behind me. »I could fall asleep now,« I mumbled with closed eyes. Changkyun started massaging my shoulders, I hummed in satisfaction. »Should we get a massage chair?« I joked and heard his laugh which made my heart flutter. »You do not need one when you have me,« he said and sneaked his arms around my waist. I could feel his hot breath on my neck. »That’s true,« I said. »I hope the water does not get cold fast,« I pouted. Everytime I take a bath the water is cold after solid ten minutes. »I’m sitting next to you, the water will stay hot because of me,« he said confidently. I looked up and met his eyes. »Guess I should bath with you more often,« I giggled. 

He pecked my lips and stroked my hair. »You should definitely,« he smiled. Half an hour passed in which we talked and complained about our day and the water started to get cold. »Let’s shower,« he said. I sighed. »I am so tired,« I said. »You day must have been very hard considering that the energetic y/n is nowhere to be seen today,« he joked but I nodded. »It is a wonder that you are less tired than me,« I said and earned Changkyun laughing out loud. »Let me wash your hair,« he said and applied shampoo on my scalp. I hummed in satisfaction and closed my eyes. »Don’t fall asleep,« he said. »I am hungry, should we order something and then watch a movie?« I suggested. »We can order food but sure about the movie?« he asked, raising an eyebrow. 

»I may be sleepy as hell but, i’d rather watch a movie with you than to sleep,« I said. Changkyun smiled. »Alright, my love,« he mumbled. After we showered, put on fresh clothes and ordered food we cuddled on the couch while watching a movie. »It is not even midnight,« Changkyun said shocked. »The day goes by so slow,« I said. »It’s better like that. At least we can spend more time together,« he said. »Agreed,« I mumbled. I looked up to Changkyun who knitted his eyebrows. »What happened?« I asked worried. »Nothing, just my back hurts from practice,« he said and waves it away. »The movie is over in five minutes, we won’t miss much. Let’s go to sleep and I can massage your back, okay?« I asked and he nodded. We quickly tidied up the living room, brushed our teeth and went to our shared bedroom. »Lay down and take off your shirt,« I said. »Oh, Y/N? We are getting bold I see?« I laughed out loud. »Shut up and do it,« I said. I started massaging his back and could feel his tensed muscles. »Does it hurt?« I asked. »It feels good,« he mumbled. »Done,« I said after a few minutes. »Kyun?« I asked. I looked at his face and said, »Kyun, are you sleeping?« I got no response back which made it clear that he was asleep. I smiled and put a blanket over him before laying down next to him. I went through his hair, so it didn’t got on his face and he could sleep peaceful. »Goodnight, I love you,« I said. »Mhm, I love you,« he mumbled in his sleep which made me smile wider.

[themoonfeltmyfears]

struggling with depression

im changkyun * ༉‧₊˚*:･

Pairing: Changkyun x reader

Genre: fluff, mental health issues 

It was already dark outside and the only thing that lighted up the streets were the street lamps. The cold winter breeze was hitting on my skin, through my boyfriends hoodie, which I stole at the beginning of our relationship out of his closet. "You will catch a cold," I heard my boyfriends voice from inside. "I’m coming," I mumbled and closed the balcony door. This winter depression was already trapping me in my own mind. I hated this time of the year with passion. Because of the fact that it gets dark way faster than in summer, made everything worse. It feels like i have been wasting days because of that.

I sat down on my bed and took a deep breath. I was mad at myself because right when I wanted to spend time with boyfriend, my depression kicked in. I just wanted to cuddle with him and watch a movie the whole night but the only thing that i wanted to do right now was to cry myself to sleep. Even though I got a good amount of sleep last night, I felt so exhausted and tired. 

"Darling, are you coming?" Changkyuns voice echoed in the apartment. He was probably waiting in the living room for me. I couldn’t even raise my voice to answer. That’s why I stayed quiet and didn’t even try to open my mouth to speak. A minute later I heard him knocking on the door of the bedroom. The door was open but he probably still knocked to let me know that he was here. 

He crossed his arms in front of his chest and looked at me but I looked away. "I’m coming, give me a few minutes," I smiled even though my eyes wanted to cry. "Are you alright?" he asked full with concern while sitting down next to me. I just nodded and wanted to stand up but something held me up from doing so.

"You sure?" he asked me and put his hand over mine. He soothingly went over the back of my hand. "Not really," I smiled in pain. "Do you want to talk about it?" I shook my head in denial. "I can’t really explain," I whispered and looked down. I don’t like to explain to people why I am sad. I can’t explain things that I don’t even understand myself. 

"Okay, that’s fine. Do you want to cuddle? Or still watch a movie? You know sometimes, when we tell people how we feel or simply let them know that we are not okay, that can make us feel relieved." I smiled and squeezed his hand. "I want to cry," I laughed. "Okay, but why are you laughing?" he asked and raised his eyebrows in concern.

"I don’t know," I smiled. Changkyun wiped my tears away and kissed them away. "That tickles," I mumbled. He smiled at me, before he carried me to the living room. "If you don’t have motivation to do anything, then I will be your right hand," he said and put me on the couch. 

"Stay here," he whispered before he went to the kitchen. After a minute he came back with a bottle of water and my favorite chocolate bar. "I know you don’t want to eat anything right now, but food gives you energy and serotonin, so can you try to eat this?" he asked me and lifted my chin up with his finger. 

"Thank you," I mumbled while he opened the water bottle for me. "No need to thank me, do you want more food? Should we order something?" he asked me while he pulled me between his legs. I leaned my back on his chest and nodded while drinking my water. 

"Alright," he mumbled and pulled his phone out. I was scrolling through Netflix meanwhile. I took his free hand and held it really tight against my chest. Holding hands gives me the most comfort. "Should be there soon," he mumbled and put his phone away. "I found a movie," I mumbled.

He put his right hand around my waist while looking at the tv screen. "Looks interesting," he mumbled. I turned around and saw his eyes still focused on the television. I hugged him really tight, which took him by surprise. "Are you alright?" he asked me and I nodded my head and whispered, "I love you."

[themoonfeltmyfears]

he can’t fall sleep without you

im changkyun * ༉‧₊˚*:･ 

The summer breeze was hitting against my skin while I was doing some work on the balcony. It was not pretty late because the sun just started setting but my body was slightly aching from sitting on here since hours. The only time I stood up was when Changkyun came home, so I could greet him and whenever I needed to pee. My stomach was growling since the past two hours but I couldn’t eat without finishing my work first. I heard Changkyun’s foot steps slowly approaching the balcony and it left a little bit of excitement in me.

"Are you still working?" he asked and sat down next me. I nodded in response. I heard him sigh and he changed his position and was now sitting right behind me. "Did you eat yet?" he asked while he started to play with my long hair. 

"I didn’t. You sound sleepy," I spoke softly. "I tried to sleep but it is hard to sleep when my girlfriend is typing away on her laptop instead of cuddling with me," he uttered and I knew he rolled his eyes. "I have work to do, did you eat yet?" I asked.

"I didn’t, I was waiting for you. Y/N the sun is already setting, continue to work tomorrow," he softly said and leaned against my back. »I am almost done anyway,« I mumbled. »But you still didn’t eat yet,« he insisted but I just hummed in response and continued my work. 

"I will go and try to sleep," he murmured and went back to our bedroom. I felt bad but if I finish this now, then I will be free from work tomorrow. The sun was already gone and the only light came from my display. My stomach was growling but I ignored it as much as I could.

"You will be the death of me," I heard Changkyuns voice behind me and sighed. "Did you save your work?" he asked me and I nodded with furrowed eyebrows. "Okay," he said and closed my laptop. I couldn’t even speak before he put his finger on my lips, signaling me to be quiet. 

»You need sleep, food and I need my sleep, which I can’t get without you laying next to me, so if you could excuse me for now,« he said and carried me to the kitchen. I widened my eyes because he never carried me before and tried to get out of his grip.

»Let me down!« I said and hit his back. »Your punches on my back feel like a free massage, sweetheart,« he teased me. Entering the kitchen, he let me down on one of the chairs and watched me death glaring at him. 

»Before you open your mouth to insult me, eat this,« he said and put a plate with my favorite food in front of me. »When did you-« »You were so caught up with your work that you didn’t even hear how I ordered food,« he mumbled under his breath and sat down in front of me.

»This is not the first time that I worked for so long, yet it bothers you more than usual,« I pointed out and watched him taking a sip out of his water. »Well,« he started and softly smiled at me while I was chewing on my food. »The other side of the bed was too empty and somehow my arms were not wrapped around your figure, which resulted me in not falling asleep,« he said and theatrically touched his heart.

»Yah! Don’t act like I broke your heart!« I said and threw a tissue on his face. »You not sleeping next to me was the most heartbreaking thing I ever experienced in this relationship so far,« he said. I gulped down my last bite and put the empty plate in the sink. 

»Lets go to sleep,« I said and watched him raise an eyebrow. He crossed his arms in front of his chest and only stared at me. »Now you want to sleep?« he said in a lower tone. »It is already past midnight so yes?« I said and stood in front of him.

»What?« I smiled as he kept staring at me. »I am just thinking how you could make up the time I couldn’t spend with you today because of your workaholic ass,« Changkyun said and poked with his tongue inside of his cheek. »I will cuddle you the whole night?« I sweetly said and sat down on his lap.

»Not enough,« he said. I sighed and mumbled, »I won’t touch my work for the whole day tomorrow.« He smiled in satisfaction and nodded his head. »That’s enough, oh, wait,« he sheepishly smiled and directed to his cheek. I gave him a quick kiss on his cheek and on his lips and tried to hide my red cheeks. 

»More than enough, let’s go to sleep,« he said and carried me to the bedroom. We laid down and I pulled him on my chest. »I hope you can sleep now,« I teased. »Of course I can sleep while cuddling with my own customized human pillow,« he chuckled. 

»Shut up and sleep before I get my laptop,« I threatened him. »Touch one corner of your laptop and I will throw it out of the window,« he uttered with a monotonous face. »Okay, no need to get aggressive,« I mumbled and stroked his back. 

[themoonfeltmyfears]

meeting him after the breakup

im changkyun * ༉‧₊˚*:･ 

»Oreos,« I whispered to myself and walked to the shelf with the Oreos. I stood on my tiptoes and tried to reach it but failed miserably. »Let me help you.« I heard next to me and saw how someone reached for the Oreos before handing them to me. I looked up after I identified his voice. »Oh,« he mumbled. »How have you been?« he asked and faked a smile. I couldn’t figure out if he faked a smile to me or if he faked a smile to himself. I couldn’t even look away from his eyes which looked darker than before. 

»Could be better,« I mumbled and spared a glance down. »How about you?« I asked in return.  »Busy, like always,« he said and pulled his mask up when he saw other people entering the store. »I should go,« I said and made my way to the cash register.

I quickly paid for my stuff and made my way out of the store. »Hey,« I heard his voice again and stopped walking. I turned around and met his eyes again. »Yeah?« He sighed before walking towards me. »Do you maybe have time to hang out one day?« he asked and I furrowed my eyebrows. 

»I always have time, you are the one who doesn’t,« I said and indirectly reminded him of the reason why we broke up. »I know but-« I didn’t let him speak further. »There is no but, Changkyun. If it would’ve been so easy to just meet up, then we both wouldn’t have broken up,« I said and lowered my gaze. 

»I need to go,« I said after I realized that he was not going to say anything else. I turned around and wanted to leave but he held onto my wrist. »Don’t go,« he pleaded. »All of a sudden?« I scoffed. »Please hear me out,« he said and tried to hold my hand but I backed off.

»No, you hear me out,« I said. »You can’t break up with me because of the lack of time we had and then ask me if I have time to hang out with me. Do you even listen to yourself?« I lashed out. »I do listen to myself. But do you even listen to me?« he said monotone. »I did listen to you. Three months ago.« I got tears in my eyes for whatever reason.

»No you didn’t. You didn’t even let me speak that day. You didn’t want to listen any further after I told you that I want to break up because of the fact that we can’t spend time together!« he said angry. »Who the fuck would listen after their partner says that he wants to break up? What the hell is the use in listening when you already made up your mind?« I fired back and wiped my tears away. 

»You! You always listened to me! But that moment you suddenly didn’t? You didn’t even ask any further. You deep down knew that the fact that we couldn’t spend much time together wasn’t the only reason why i wanted to break up,« he said in a lower tone. »Do I look like I can read your mind? How was I supposed to know-« I wanted to talk more but he came closer to me and sarcastically started laughing.

»Don’t fucking lie to me. You know everything about me. You even know stuff about me that nobody else does. So don’t you dare to lie to me!« he said angry and was only a few centimeters away from me. »Tell me the reason then,« I whispered. He looked at our surroundings  and took my hand. »Too many people,« he whispered. »They could recognize me,« he said and walked me to his car. 

He started to drive off and it was completely quiet in the car. Changkyun drove to my apartment, which I recognized when we started to pass by familiar surroundings. He stopped right in front of my apartment and right when I wanted to get off, he started to talk.

»I never wanted to break up,« he whispered. »One day before, I heard you talking on the phone with your best friend and I also heard how you started to cry because I was never home. I never had a problem with the lack of time. I always told myself that my love to you was stronger than the missed time. It is still pretty weird to me how couples break up just because they don’t have time for each other. I mean, we won’t stay like this forever but when I heard you crying, I thought that you would be better off without me,« he confessed. His hand was slightly shaking, so I put mine on his and gently stroked over the back of his hand.

»You should’ve told me about that,« I calmly spoke. »I know,« he said. »I thought breaking up with you, would help you to find someone who would always have time for you,« he explained and wiped his tears away. »That’s the dumbest shit I ever heard,« I laughed painfully. »Yeah, I realized that too,« he said. 

I looked at him and gently wiped his tears away. »We can fix this,« I assured him. »Are you not supposed to be mad?« he asked. I laughed. »I am mad at you. I am mad that you thought that breaking up would solve this problem,« I confessed. »But I also know you and know that you would do anything to make me happy. I wonder why you didn’t understand that i need you to be happy and nothing else. Me crying on the phone was because i missed you, that’s right. But that does not mean that not having you would make me happier,« I explained.

»I am sorry,« he said. »We can fix this,« I told him and smiled. »But,« I started and looked him in the eyes. »If this happens on more time, then that’s it. You can’t break up with me to solve a problem like that,« I said. »It will never happen again, I promise, I will never let you go,« he said and kissed my temple.