#monstumblr

[ask-reindeer-dad]

[???-missing-url-???]

…okay. Odd. What kind of town name is Monstumblr?

[ continued from here ]

(He paid some attention to chemistry class.)

[ask-reindeer-dad]

If there's a monster version of Tumblr, Kris would make an account on it by using their fursona to fit in...

[ask-reindeer-dad]

[???-missing-url-???]

…I think I got my wires crossed. Are you on Atom? I was trying to reach somewhere on the Atom network. Where are you?

[ continued from here ]

[obsy]

what do you call an Oni turn-on?

an Onion.

[testmuch]

Monstumblr Short Three: Shipping Party!

     Still, it wasn’t the end of the world; she and her friends could still have a good time without food. Besides, Dampho wasn’t sure if they really would have had the time to eat anything anyway; the game she and the others were about to play was so intense that it was unlikely that anyone would want to lose focus for mere popcorn! Dampho grinned; this was gonna be fun.

     She was interrupted from her anticipation by a knock on the door. Dampho walked over and opened it, revealing Wind, the neighbor/security guard, and his new roomate Test. Wind nodded at her in greeting and strolled in, while Test stood awkwardly at the door before slightly nervously following him in. Dampho closed the door behind them, then turned.

     “Did you guys steal my popcorn for your movie night?” Test froze, refusing to meet her gaze, while Wind merely flicked his tail in response. “Really? And without asking? Come on man, not cool.” Dampho scowled at both of them.

     “Sorry! Claire said it would be okay. If you want, I can buy you some more later...” Test hunched, wrapping her tail around her legs, looking for all the world like a scolded dog. Which was silly, since Wind sent her a glare; it clearly read back off. Damph rolled her eyes at him, but walked over to Test, patting her with the edge of a wing.

     “Hey, it’s fine, don’t worry about it! I just thought it’d be nice to eat some during the upcoming trials.” Wind snorted, then gracefully leapt onto the couch. Test smiled hesitantly at Dampho, then moved to join Wind, though she definitely lacked the grace the guardian lion exhibits.

     “Is anyone else coming?” Test said, looking around at apartment. “Or is it just you, me and Wind? Not that that’s not cool!” Wind eyed her and Test blushed, shrinking into the couch cushions. Dampho resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Internet girlfriend or not, they should just hook up already. The doorbell rang again, snapping Dampho out of her shipping.

     “I’ll get it.” Dampho crossed to the door, not even bothering to check who it was. Opening the door confirmed what she thought; Ryan was at the other side, looking awkward. His hands were held behind his back, and when he was Dampho he awkwardly scratched at the area around his horn.

     “Oh, hey, I’m not late, am I?” Dampho shook her head. Ryan was really weird about being late; it was better for everyone involved if you just said ‘no’.

     “Nah, just on time. What’s that you got there?” Dampho tried to peer around Ryan’s massive oni frame, but Ryan just blushed and moved more to the side, obscuring her vision. Dampho huffed, but turned and headed back towards the couch. “Fine, don’t tell me, it’s cool. Now, are you ready for some extreme thrills?” Wind snorted at her phrasing, but said nothing.

     “Uh, yeah, sure, if the ‘extreme thrills are-” Ryan started, but was cut off as one of the doors opened and Claire stepped out, yawning and pulling a hand through her hair. “Ahhhh, sorry, work was a real pain and I kinda took an accidental nap. I see you haven’t started without me?” Claire said as she sat down next to Test.

     “Nope, we haven’t started. And you should be sorry!” Dampho faux-glared at Claire. “Also, you let them take all our popcorn? Rude, Claire, rude!” Claire snorted and stuck out her tongue, before turning to Test and talking to her about some TV show they were currently fangirling over. All they need is Joe. Oh God, all of my friends are complete nerds.

     Dampho plunked herself between Wind and Ryan, who were glaring at each other; apparently Ryan had sat on Wind’s tail. Dampho didn’t know what was up with those two either; Maddy had once said that they should just shut up and kiss, and Dampho had to say she agreed. Not tonight though; tonight was special.

     “Alright, are we already? Yeah? Then let’s get this started!” Dampho looked meaningfully at Claire, who rolled her eyes and picked up the remote, turning on the TV and displaying the best game in the world...MonsterMarioKart. Dampho grinned. Oh, it was on now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     Nearly five hours later, Dampho stumbled out of the bathroom. While the first hour had been a bit awkward (Test didn’t know how to play MarioKart. What kind of childhood did she have? No really, Dampho was concerned), after Test had learned to play everything had gone more smoothly. The things that Ryan had been hiding had turned out to be gummy worms; Dampho’s favorite candy, and Wind had revealed that there was still some popcorn left in his apartment, and Joe had drifted in about two hours in and completely and totally schooled everyone. Basically, it had been awesome.

     Then Test and Claire had gotten into an argument about Inspecter SpaceTime, Ryan and Wind had been so close to fighting that literally a shove could have had them lip-locked, and Dampho and Joe had teamed up and beaten everyone else into the ground. Then Claire had ordered pizza, Joe had left and come back with Faygo (possibly the worst drink Dampho had ever consumed), and sometime during the night an impromptu dance party had occurred.

     Making her way back to the sofas, Damph smiled. Test was curled against Wind; she claimed that as a reptile she was attracted to heat, but come on, it was pretty obvious there was more there. Claire was leaning against the cushions, Joe floating next to her. When Dampho had left, the two had been discussing the speciesism of Supernatural; another match made in heaven.

     And finally, Ryan was curled on the other end of the couch. mouth slightly open, snoring. Dampho settled next to him, leaning against him slightly. She really should send everyone back to their appropriate apartments, but...

    Instead, Dampho leaned against the oni a bit more, then settled her head on the cushioned back of the couch. It really wouldn’t hurt anyone to stay the night, would it? With a last glance around to make sure that the TV was off and the fridge door closed, Dampho closed her eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     Maddy sighed and opened the door to her apartment. Another day, another dumb date. Why is this so hard? Maybe I should move into girl territory? Stepping over the threshold, she hung her raincoat on a hook and wandered into the living room. What the...Maddy stared at the scene before her. Both of her roommates and a few of her neighbors were collapsed on the couches; the basilisk (Test? It was Test. What a weird name...) was actually laying out on the floor; Wind's tail was in her face, and with every one of Test's exhalations it blew forward. 

     Still, it was pretty adorable. And while normally she’d make some sort of joke about this, Maddy was tired and happy at least someone was happy. Silently, she crossed to the closet and pulled out some of the spare blankets she and Claire had packed in there earlier that month. Returning to the couches, she draped one over the couples (excluding Joe, as it would just fall through him anyway), the surveyed her handiwork. Looks good. I’ll wake ‘em up in the morning. Yawning, Maddy made her way to her room. They really were cute together.

     Each and every one of them.

[testmuch]

Monstumblr Short Two: Test and Wind Get A TV

Free to a good home :)

         A flat screen TV. A. Flat. Screen. Television. Test could not believe her luck, or her karma. She was sure that she had never done anything so good as to deserve this in her entire life.

Oh shit oh fuck of shit oh fuck. Test hesitantly touched it with a claw. It was definitely real. She stroked it gently; she wasn't even really one for TV!

Touching it seemed to break her spell of awe. Suddenly Test felt horribly anxious;  anyone could come and take it, or say that they saw it first or some other terrible thing. She clawed open her purse, searching for her phone. It was one of those fancy new smart ones, the type with a touch screen. It had been a gift from her older brother, and Test was immensely grateful; touch screens were so much easier to operate with claws than a keypad. 

As Quickly as she could, Test typed in Chell's number. Chell was her only neighbor who had a car, and Test doubted that any of her friends would be able to help her carry a TV this size home; it was at least a 30 minute walk.

Thankfully, despite the fact that it was early morning Chell was already up. 

"Test? Hey. What are you calling me about this early?"

"Chell, oh my gog, I just…I just found something amazing, and I need your car to come and pick me up." Test flicked her tail excitedly, and flailed her legs. This was just… unbelievable.

"Test, slow down, I can't understand you. What happened? Are you okay?" Chell sounded equal parts exasperated and concerned. Test forced herself to slow her breathing. She wasn't even sure why she was so excited; her computer had Nexflix and really was all she needed. 

"Yeah, okay, sorry. Anyway, I was saying that I found something really awesome and that I'd really appreciate it if you could come in your car and pick me up." 

"Uh, sure I guess. How far away are you?"

"Not that far at all. I'm on Spangler street, you know, near the Whole Foods?"

"Yeah, okay, I can come and pick you up. Oh, by the way."

"Yup?"

"What is it? What's the thing you found?" Test grinned, feeling both sick and extremely giddy. She wanted it to be a surprise; people liked surprises.  

"Um, words can't do I justice, I think. Just… Come and see I think." 

"Yeah, sure. I'll be there in a bit."

************************************************************

By the time Chell had arrived, Test was quite glad she was a basilisk. Say what you wanted about the curses of accidentally turning things to stone; she could be pretty frightening if she tried, and it paid off. There had been a few interested parties, but baring her fangs and extending her ruff and frills had scared them off. Test was just happy that she hadn't met another basilisk; that could have been bad.

"Ho-ly hell Test. Is that what I think it is?" Chell climbed out of her car and stalked around the TV, sniffing it. "Because it looks like a TV. A flat screen, to be precise." Test beamed. 

"It is. I mean, it is what it looks like, which is a TV. And it's free, see?" Test flicked her tail forward, where she had taped the free sign. "You see why I needed you?" Chell nodded.

"Yep. Okay, let's lift this bad boy in. I hope it can fit…"

"I'm sure it can."

"Yeah, probably. Oh, Test?"

"Yes?"

"As the person who helped you with this, I better get to watch stuff on it."

************************************************************

It turned out that the TV did fit in Chell's car, though it was a bit tight. In the end, Test walked back to the apartment complex, though she really didn't mind. When she arrived back, Chell had already unloaded the TV, and was sitting beside it, looking smug as a small group of neighbors clustered around. Coming closer, Test could hear Chell bragging.

        "…yeah, like I said, apparently it was just sitting there with a little free sign. I know, she has to be the luckiest person in the world." Seeing Test approach, she waved. "Oh hey Test! As you might have noticed, you've got a bit of a crowd." 

"So I can see." Test replied, brushing through the others and standing in front of the TV. "If any of them can help carry it up the stairs I'm sure that after I get Netflix set up they'll be invited to the party. What other way could we break this in?" At this, most of the crowd dispersed; apparently the watching the television wasn't worth the effort of carrying it up three flights of stairs. 

Luckily, two humanoids stayed behind and offered to carry it up for her; a red oni named Ryan and a naga called Stront. 

"So, just to make sure, we're for sure getting to go to the party?" Stront asked, as she and Ryan made it up the first floor staircase. She set her end down, and Ryan echoed her movement. "Because that would be really great. This is really, really heavy." Ryan nodded and grunted in agreement.

"Of course! I think there will even be your own bowl of popcorn." Test replied. She was pretty sure she had microwave popcorn. And even if I don't I can always go out and get some.

"Just making sure. Alrighty then Ryan, you ready to lift?" Stront grabbed her end of the TV and hoisted. "Let's DO THIS!"

"Yeah, sounds fine." Ryan lifted his end, and the duo continued up the stairs, Test trailing behind. "But man, where did you even get a TV like this?" 

**************************************************************

The best part of the whole day (aside from acquiring the TV of course) was seeing Wind's face as it was carried in. It was…surprised, to say the least.

"Woah, what the fuck? What is that doing here?" Wind prowled around it, sniffing suspiciously. Stront giggled weakly, then flung herself to the floor, chest heaving. Ryan on the other hand was not nearly as exhausted, and turned on Wind, a stormy look growing on his face.

"You could be a bit more grateful; I did just carry this thing up three flights of stairs for you!" He glared at WInd, who returned the look calmly. 

       "I doubt that you did. At least, not for me. Unless I ordered a flat screen in my sleep." Ryan snorted at that, and turned to face Test, who had just made it up after being stopped by Zippy on floor two, who had asked what all the racket was and then demanded that she be allowed to watch the TV due to said racket. Test had promised her a space in the party later, and was starting to think that she and Wind might have to invest in a bigger sofa.

"Boys, boys, stop that." Test said, making her way to the front. "I found it for free Wind. So I guess we have a TV now?" Wind looked at her, then to the TV, then back to her. His jaw opened momentarily, then closed again.

"For real?" Test nodded, then headed off to the kitchen.

"For real. Tell me, do we have any microwave popcorn?"

[aquaferret]

unhidden porn

[testmuch]

Just so you all know...

If there is ever unhidden porn in this tag I swear... I don't even know, but it will be bad.