i like to rate the months ;3 so stay tuned for more!
✨ MAY - 3.5/10 ✨
it wasnt bad but not good either ;/ i had lots of bad mental health days/trauma flare-ups (just now getting over one recently) its just been a hectic roller coaster navigating through my environment/own feelings and insecurities honestly .
June im hoping is better and i can actually get the ball rolling, the summertime makes me feel sooooo anxious because its such a transitionary time of year n lots of pressures! like i said just gonna be gentle with myself, choose peace and go one step at a time! :)
WHAT IM LOOKING FORWARD TO TMRW:
ordering meds
hopefully the check is finally deposited into the bank
go to ATM!
draw digitally more <333
bits of early summer shopping
homework and mainly chillin since my cycle started ;3
overall i just want a nice week where my parents dont stress me out and hopefully i get to spend time and see my grandma again soon like last summer! <3
reading ⋆ listening ⋆ watching
☰ been playing a lot of F5ve recently around the apartment (when I can tolerate it); their album is so fun concept-wise and actually genuinely so underrated in regards to sound
☰ finally working my way through COPE Magazine’s first few volumes (ironically/devastatingly I have just not had enough energy allocated towards reading and then also writing about illness through a literary focused, emotionally intellectual lens until recently)
☰ embarrassed to admit that my partner and I finally watched the LOTR movies; loving the intense and varied neurodivergent representation in these films, can feel the hyperfixation actually literally latching onto this world (while the copy of The Hobbit I’ve had since middle school sits on the self beside the TV, lol)
☰ essay (Heavy Lies The Cloud) in ByLineByLine Magazine by Emily Manges + illustrated by Víctor Arc about The Cloud and how it’s omnipresence in modern society dictates how we reflect back on ourselves and how others remember us
☰ Illit’s newest EP release feels glossy/opalescent/energetic (god bless the growing intersection of dreamy street style and hyperpop vibes) I love PawPaw
☰ my partner and I are watching Dimension 20’s vampire game (gives me something specific to look forward to each week, being disabled is so boring and makes me suuuch a loser…)
☰ selection from Christina Yuna Ko’s zine To Be Cute; conversation with Larissa Pham about cuteness and emotional aesthetics in relation to Western/Asian cultures
eating ⋆ drinking
☰ discovered Sun Butter sunflower seed butter has the texture + most of the taste that the smooth peanut butter I’ve been really missing/craving has ?!
☰ found a Japanese BBQ place downtown that agrees to serve unseasoned/non marinated meat + vegetables AND has an accessible layout/bathroom !!! amazing to feel like a real human again, insane how much I missed eating out
☰ super obsessed with finding local places I can get even a small amount of simple allergen friendly “takeout” from (have been able to locate: steak tacos, spring rolls, garlic bok choy, white rice w/ fried egg)
☰ random mini food fixation on rainbow sprinkles…
creating ⋆ playing
☰ celebrated my partner’s birthday over the course of an entire weekend to take advantage of nice weather + to allow me to pace my energy and manage my pain conditions in a way that least interferes with “normal” plans
☰ genuinely I am so disappointed in the mods people have been making for Fallout 4 (in general but specifically on xbox) because it’s still a male dominated hobby and that community literally cannot imagine anything unique
admiring ⋆ obsessing
☰ visited the New Museum’s new building to see their opening exhibition with my mom + sisters + partner; we were all generally unimpressed with many aspects of the building and art on display BUT it was interesting to discuss why/how we didn’t enjoy specific pieces
☰ I know I know I know I am 20 years late to the fandom but holy crap the costume design in LOTR movies is SO good… as well as the set design, etc (I know I know I know)
☰ trying to find new sneakers because Sketchers stopped manufacturing the specific style of sneaker I’ve worn for two years UGH
practicing ⋆ learning
☰ working on: locating specific restaurants that can accommodate my allergens/are generally accessible before I leave my apartment + communicating my dietary restrictions to restaurant staff in a way that doesn’t confuse or freak people out
☰ thinking about adding grommets to my secondhand Baggu messenger bag; it doesn’t have anywhere to clip my charms to besides a single zipper and I don’t have the ability to sew a d-ring through the strap
☰ continuing to watch things like cosplay creation process videos and bag design tutorials; slowly gathering more random sewing information despite not having access to a machine (yet, for now)
I didn't read as much last month, unfortunately. Finished the Boudica quartet, by Manda Scott. Overall I really enjoyed it, and the ending was appropriately emotional - I've spend so much time with these characters, it was sad to say goodbye. I also think it's always delightful when historical fiction gets really in-your-face queer without losing the "historicality" of the time period it's depicting, and that was the case in these books. On the downside, I did find the story pretty repetitive (one battle with the romans after the next...) and I am not a huge fan of the very "pagan new age" vibes the author clearly loves.
I also finally read The Starving Saints, by Caitlin Starving. The story itself didn’t grab me as much as I hoped, the mystery is more for atmosphere than anything else, but the main characters are absolutely worth it. Where else are you going to read about three very different women stuck in an insane gay psychosexual vaguely bdsmy love/hate triangle? Really fun stuff.
TV shows:
Still watching and mostly enjoying the Pitt every week. I also watched the new season of Bridgerton with my wife, even though I'm not really into romance as a genre, but she looooves it, and I love watching her get super into it :')
Films:
The only movie I watched this month is Hamnet, which we went to see at the theater. And I hated it. It was well acted, the scenery and decor were beautiful. But I spent the entire movie thinking to myself "wow I do not like this". In trying to figure out why I disliked this movie so strongly, two things came up: 1) the dialogue often felt way too modern, especially because then they'd have entire passages from Shakespeare juxtaposed, which resulted in a very dissonant mix, 2) the direction + music choices made every single scene The Most Dramatic Moment Ever, which made the whole movie feel both overdramatic and very... flat? If every scene is shot as if it's the most intense scene of the movie then... it gets irritating fast, and nothing really feels intense. I don't know, I'm no film critic, but this certainly wasn't for me.
Games:
Now here's what I really spent the month of February doing: playing Mass Effect 2 and 3 for the first time. I loved both games, and I'm now fully mass effect pilled, I can't stop thinking about Shepard, about all her friends and allies, about the ending and the world and the themes... What a character! What fun relationships! What a story!
In terms of pure gameplay experience, I might have a slight preference for ME2, which I found very easy to figure out and get good at. Just me, my cloaking powers, and a sniper rifle, while Miranda and Grunt are doing their thing up front. In ME2 the story is also more light-hearted (hilarious given that it starts with shepard dying) but that might just be because ME3 is so dark and end-of-the-world stressful that anything next to it feels less dire. And I enjoyed the squad mates in ME2 better than in ME3, except I also really missed Liara so it balances out. Anyway, so happy I finally got into Mass Effect! Picture me showing up to the fandom 15 years late with an iced coffee.
Another whirlwind of a month, with family visiting and a good bit of travel. Loved seeing everyone, but honestly, also very glad to have at least a few days back in my apartment to myself. Haven't been doing a lot of work, but trying to get some research reading done as well as my leisure reading. (Which I didn't do as much of as I had hoped while traveling. Because I was the navigator for our driver. Which was honestly murder on my nerves.) I feel like I've been out of a routine for so long now and it's hard to see signs of one returning anytime soon, but I'll just have to keep doing my best. As far as reading, not a bad month at all.
The House With the Golden Door (Wolf Den Trilogy #2) by Elodie Harper- 4.75/5 stars
Not much of a second book slump here, though perhaps I didn't love it quite as much as the first one. Still a lot of attention to the characters, the setting, and the emotional ramifications of the plot. Just really enjoyed it all around!
Man In The Middle Voice: Name And Narration In The Odyssey by John Peradotto*
Erotic Stories for Punjabi Widows by Balli Kaur Jaswal- 4/5 stars
I liked this a lot. Really interesting exploration of erotica, sex, the place of storytelling, and the varied ways cultural expectations can be met, managed, restricting, and comforting. Plus the mystery aspect was a pleasant surprise.
The Temple of Fortuna (Wolf Den Trilogy #3) by Elodie Harper- 5/5 stars
I think the first book might still be my favorite, but this one deserved five stars too. A fitting ending to the trilogy that took a really interesting approach to Pompeii's eruption and provided great closure for our characters and their stories.
Deeplight by Frances Hardinge- 4/5 stars
What a weird little book. The cosmic god stuff is not super my thing, but I really liked our main character and this was such a great exploration of friendships--how they're formed and broken and can change everything, for better or for worse.
Among Others by Jo Walton- 4.25/5 stars
I don't know what I was expecting from this book, but not exactly what I got. The blend of Mor's prosaic life with its ordinary teenage struggles against the backdrop of the fae and her magical mother was fascinating. I also enjoyed reading all her opinions on books, even if I hadn't read most of them myself.
The Hod King (The Books of Babel #3) by Josiah Bancroft- 3.75/5 stars
I feel like I should be rating these books higher because I do think the world is really, really interesting, and I think the characters are generally well-written and offer a wide range of personalities that are engaging to read about. Maybe it's just that I don't like all the characters equally? And each book feels reeeaaally packed. This one was no exception, and I'm sure the final one will be as well.
The Routledge Handbook to the Ghost Story edited by Scott Brewster and Luke Thurston*
The Book of Cold Cases by Simone St. James- 3.5/5 stars
This was a solid mystery. I had suspicions about the twist, but wasn't disatisfied with guessing it. Wasn't expecting the slight supernatural twist, but executed well enough.
The Butcher of the Forest by Premee Mohamed- 4/5 stars
This novella sometimes felt longer than it was--not unlike the forest itself--but the writing was very lyrical. I quite liked it overall, just felt a touch repetitive at times.
*read for academic purposes and therefore not rated
Currently Reading: Biancaneve e altre fiabe dei Fratelli Grimm (returning to it after traveling), Alchemised by SenLinYu, and Faking, Forging, Counterfeiting: Discredited Practices at the Margins of Mimesis edited by Annalisa Fischer, Yola Schmitz, Daniel Becker
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It’s been a while—how have you all been? Life’s been pretty busy for me recently. I’m in my third year of college now and I’m starting to feel the pressure. It’s a bit scary if I’m being honest. Time has never been on my side, an experience I’m sure many creatives can relate to, and these last few years have flown by. Some days it feels as if I’m being dragged along behind it, hitting every rock and piece of debris in my path.
Perhaps I’m being existential, but it’s something I came to realize during my hiatus. Life is short, and there is so much I want to do with my existence. So I have the same resolution this year as I did last: to do something bigger and better. What that something is, I don’t know yet. But I hope you’ll join me in seeing it realized.
Anyway, I’ve expositioned long enough. You’re probably curious as to what I’ve been up to since I’ve been gone. Well—you’re in for a treat!
If you’re interested in my work, consider checking out the Masterlist or my Artstation.
So without further ado let’s begin!
~~Project Progress~~
Sharing the Tale
On the Tumblr side of things, I’ve decided that I want to be more open and share my writing more this year. In the past, I would only share snippets I’ve written if I had been tagged in something. Otherwise, the only time I shared progress was through my Mid Monthly Reports.
This year, I want to break out of my shell and put myself out there as best I can. My first plan of action is to share weekly snippets—with how much I’ve written, it’s a shame not to share it with you all, so I hope this will create more interest in Project : Desert.
Secondly, I’ve developed the bad habit of hiding my art behind my MMRs—despite being an artblr, you’d think I’d never make art! So now, unless I’m unveiling something big (like you shall see in a bit ;^)), I’ll be posting my art more freely. So expect sketches! Expect doodles! Expect the ramblings of a madman!
Thirdly, I want to do more with the Youtube channel I created last year. Since I’ve been busy with moving and school, it was hard to create content for it. But now that I’ve lightened my workload, I hope I can start posting there again. So I hope you’ll look forward to that :^)
Art Nouveau Series
Those who may follow my Artstation might know I got a little bit of art done during my hiatus.
So it is with great pleasure to finally show you the finished Art Nouveau series for Project : Desert. Enjoy!
A heart so full of love that you’ll bleed for the dregs. You know how your story ends, but you won’t stop to rewrite it.
So small was the pup born from soot and mud. Time will move on without you, but it is finally time to forgive yourself.
Remember what you’ve seen here, my dear. Though you walk with them as support, you may be the last who will remember them.
You’ve done all you can to protect your liege, now let him grow without you. And take heed, you still have your part to play.
Draft 2
If you remember from my Hiatus post back in September, I was working on Draft 2 of Project : Desert as part of a semester project for one of my classes. Well, I have made huge progress so far! Before the end of 2022, I was able to finish the Pre-Log and Act 1; now I am currently working on Act 2!
So with this in mind, here’s the general schedule I’ll be working with for the remainder of Draft 2:
By the end of February, I hope to have Act 2 completed and some of the accompanying storyboards done.
By end of April, Act 3 should be completed with most of the book’s storyboards done.
During the month of May, I plan on editing and finishing the remaining storyboards. I will also start looking for beta readers during this time.
By June, I hope to have Draft 2 ready for betas to read.
With Pro:Des being at its halfway mark now, I suppose I should discuss what the plans are for the project. As of writing this, I plan to release Pro:Des late 2024, and should my university allow it, publish it as my Honors Capstone. This hard deadline gives the project the urgency I need to get it completed. For now, I just have to make sure I reach my current goals before I start thinking too far into the future.
So in the meantime, I’ll keep doing my thing, and I hope you’ll continue supporting me in the process.
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.
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Oh, I nearly forgot!
I wrote all of this still referring to the project as Project : Desert. I’m excited to tell you all that I’ve finally come up with an actual name for it!
I’ve decided to call it:
An Immortal Laid to Rest
~~Goals~~
January Goals:
Complete up to Chapter 22 by February 18th (16/25 total)
Work on new storyboards for Chpt 3, 5, & 7 by February 15th
Create concept art for Clotho and Lachesis (must complete Clotho before Chpt 7 storyboard)
Create a new video for Youtube Channel before next MMR
Post weekly snippets every Friday
Make a WIP intro post (not urgent)
That’s all I have this month—it feels good to be back writing this. I really missed the MMRs.
Thank you for all the support you guys have given me these last few years. I know I’m just a small blog on this side of the internet, but it’s really thanks to y’all that I even have the motivation to keep going with this.
So as always, thanks for reading and I hope you’ll support me in my future endeavors!
