My Light Pt. 1 — 🎩
Old Friend: Mitski 🎵
Tags/ Warnings: angst, kinger is father figure, post ep 8, made before ep 9, Caine x reader, no use of y/n, GN reader, platonic kinger and reader, absyregedy mentioned for one second lol
moolies note: Hii… sorry for my absence! Horrible writers block hit and I’ve been a bit busy. I’m happy to be back and to be active once more!! ◝(ᵔᗜᵔ)◜🪽

Shame was all Caine could remember feeling.
He had been deleted, obliterated. His last thought?
He failed you all.
The people he should have cared about, brought nothing but joy and contempt. He did the polar opposite of what he should have, torture and misery being inflicted upon you all. There was room for no other emotion but shame and the terrifying consequences of his foolish actions.
The trash bin was a cruel, digital space. Darkness for as far as the eye can see. Caine had no choice but to stay there and see as the thirty day countdown towards his complete destruction struck. He would reflect for hours on how he could have done things differently.
He had always admired humans, their emotions, their creativity, their compassion. All his life he wanted nothing but joy for them, yet now he had no way to do that ever again.
One face in particular kept snapping back to him, the particular circus member he cherished the most.
You.
You had always been the most empathetic and nicest towards him, genuinely showing interests in his creations. He developed a deep sense of care for you, a sense of pure adoration that he chose to suppress, (He refused to admit he has any favorites.) and you did too. You had a genuine appreciation of him, a kind of kindness he never felt.
His last memory of you all broke him. The horrified looks, the shaken expression that followed with horror at his final form. He remembered your face the most. The usual smile on your face replaced with terror and fear unshaken.
He wished he could make things right. Find the right words, make things go back to how they once were. Silly adventures and the vibrant circus atmosphere.
God, how he longed to see you just one last time.
There you and the cast stood in the now rapidly dimming tent. Some pieces of the ground glitching out and dropping into the void. After what Kinger had just said, you weren’t quite sure what your next move would be.
Everyone went off in their own pairs for a bit before discussing what to do next. Zooble and Gangle sitting in a corner, gangle leaning her head against the abstract avatar. Kinger and Ragatha went to go sit down by a corner. Whatever Ragatha’s torture was, It must have been bad. She was shaking, the quiet company of Kinger keeping her from breaking down. Jax and Pomni chat in every now and then, a clear tension drawn between them.
Then there was you.
Alone, still shocked by what had just happened. Caine was dead. Kinger had accidentally deleted him. The circus is slowly falling apart. Thoughts swirled your head like a tornado, the overthinking showing no real signs of stopping.
Would you all now be permanently stuck here? Without Caine, what happens next? Where are the abstracted? What would happen to you a-
You flinched at a hand tapping on your shoulder.
You turn around facing who ever popped you out of you spiral.
Kinger.
His brows were furrowed in concern, a pitiful expression covering his face. He took a minute to speak, as if to find the right words. When he did, his voice was careful, almost like he was speaking to some defenseless injured animal.
“Hey…you um, you okay?”
He was lucid at the moment, as you and the rest of the cast had learnt thanks to Pomni. You had seen him turn lucid before, it just never popped in your head that it could be due to darkness. You liked this version of him, he was surprisingly wise behind the normally seen ‘crazy’ archetype.
You stayed quiet for a moment at his question, contemplating your answer. Your eyes shifted from his to the floor. You didn’t know how to answer the question— were you okay?
“…I don’t know.”
He seemed to sadden at your response. After a bit of quiet thinking on his part, he motioned for you to follow him. You both walked in silence until you reached a plush, rectangular couch. It wasn’t completely isolated, but it put a bit of space from the rest of the group. He sat down, gently patting the space next to him.
“We can talk about it here if you want.”
You nodded slightly, taking seat next to him. Your hands hugging your arms as a way to ground yourself. You took a second to start talking, finding the right words to stay. Kinger stayed patient, silent as he sat there.
“I just… we’ve all been stuck here for who knows how long. Caine was the only thing keeping us somewhat sane and keeping things under control. What do we do now?? Why did Caine have to go so far— to torture us?”
Your voice grew a shaky, eyes beginning to shine with tears. Your grip on your arms tightened as your stress and unease grew.
Kinger put a hand on your shoulder, trying to calm you down.
“I know this is all really scary, and things seem helpless, but there’s always a way out of this. There are times when everything seems at lost, but there’s no use in staying in that moment of grief. We have to learn to stay strong, think of these as trails and challenges we have to face. There is going to be some resolution to all this, that I can promise you.”
You turned to face him eyes still watery. You felt your face scrunch a bit— oh god were you about to cry? You never liked crying in front of others. You didn’t notice the tears streaming, you hastily wiped them away with no success.
“…sorry.”
You spoke barely above a whisper.
“It’s okay to cry, don’t worry.”
Your eyes kept streaming, quiet sobs coming out of you. Once you felt better, you wiped your tears again. You felt a bit better with Kinger’s presence and your small crying session.
When you turned to face him, he seemed lost in thought, eyes tracing the floor. Whatever he was thinking about, he was deeply focused. He looked as if he was solving the worlds most complex jigsaw puzzle in his brain. He suddenly sat up straight again, turning to face you.
“I think there may be a way to save Caine.”
Your eyes widened with shock, the shocked one-word answer came out before you could even process anything.
“…what?”