Comfort within | Seo Moon-jo x reader
Summary: Seo Moon-jo always has his eyes on you.
Warnings: stalking, self-harm, angst, Moon-jo showing his love in his own way, reader has scars, killing, violence, comfort, cannibalism.
Note: idk if i like this😓
The dark hallway of the dormitory looked endless, a light flickering just enough so you could make out which door is yours. You despise this place. The creepy neighbours, the creepy lady at the front desk- everything here.
But the more you stayed there, the more you found comfort in the eeriness of the place. Most of your life you felt like no-one noticed you, those weird human eyes never on you, always on someone but never you.
But here, you felt the glares. In your small strange room, that you never really got used to, on your way out, on your way in. Always someone’s eyes were on you.
You found comfort in that. But you never cared enough to investigate who was it, until the tall mysterious man introduced himself to you. You didn’t see him often, but he always struck a conversation with you.
And from that moment you knew those glares weren’t from the pervert guy, not from the deranged twins or the sweet guy whose door was across from yours – it was Seo Moon-jo’s.
You never felt normal, you felt like you didn’t belong. Your thoughts were always dark, horrendous. You felt like every wrong move from a person could send you crazy, like you wanted to slit their throat and fish out their insides.
You could never find the beauty in life everybody always romanticises and glamorises. Life wasn’t at all what people say it is.
But on the outside you presented yourself as a normal human being, a smile on your face, which was almost never genuine. You work a job as a secretary, almost making ends meet, since your company is going out of business.
You had friends, but were they really your friends? They only care about your presence when they need it, want it. You were someone they could brag about something, when their other colleagues called in sick and didn’t want to be alone – you were it.
You didn’t want to live like this – you wanted to die. Self inflicted or not, you wanted to feel alive and your thoughts made it seem like that is the only way.
Moon-jo noticed you right away, he could sense you, he could feel you. He didn’t need to make you deranged because deep down he knew you were just like him, just not accepting it.
You currently were running late to work, bag over your shoulder as you walked out of your room, looking down at your phone. You bumped into something, or someone. You looked up to see Moon-jo, your neighbour.
He wore a black long sleeve shirt, his hands shoved in his pockets as he towered you. “Oh I’m so sorry” you apologised. “It’s no big deal” he smiled at you, dark eyes darting down at you.
Neither of you moved, standing in silence. As you realised you were already running late, you started to panic a little. He noticed your distress, “do you need a ride?” he asked, not breaking eye contact.
You felt uneasy by his glare, tugging your shirt further down as you felt a burning sensation. “No, but thank you,” you continued “I don’t want to disturb or anything” you explained.
“I insist, let’s go” he reassured you, stepping out of the way and motioning for you to get going.
As you both were leaving, you waved at the old lady at the reception table trying to be polite as Moon-jo just smiled at her. He was a gentleman, opening the door for you.
As he unlocked his car door you were kind of surprised, his cat seemed way too fancy to be living in a residence like that. “Where to?” he turned his head to look at you as you buckled your belt.
“The beauty salon near the shopping mall” you replied as the car started moving “Ah, I work close to it” he explained, gripping the wheel as his veins were now on show. “At the dental clinic near.”
Truth to be told, he already knew where you worked. He always watched you.
“Isn’t that beauty salon is closing soon?” he spoke up as he watched the road. “Uhm yeah” you awkwardly replied, also looking at the road. “Are you looking for any jobs at the moment?” he asked, but he knew.
He snooped in your room countless of times and you always left your laptop on the table, tabs open for job applications. “Yeah, but no luck as if for now.” you explained to him in a quiet voice.
“I could arrange you a spot at my clinic” he smiled at you. You couldn’t understand why was he being so nice to you. “That would be so kind of you, I have a couple years experience as a secretary,” you trailed off “if you need one I could definitely help”
“We actually need one, what a coincidence.” They don’t actually need one, but Moon-jo didn’t care.
He parked his car right outside of the building, turning to you and smiling. “Thank you so much, I owe you one” you said as you stepped out the car and waved a goodbye at him.
The rest of the day you couldn’t stop thinking about him. You couldn’t read him easily nor understand why he offered to drive you.
The work day ended fast and now you were walking home, feet cramping. As you passed a convenience store a flash of Moon-jos face appeared in your vision. You were confused for a moment but just shrugged it off. You felt those eyes on you once again.
The next couple days were rough, the stress has been getting to you, you have been getting call after call from your father and mother arguing with you for no reason. Work has been shit. Not to mention you knew someone was watching you, you saw his face everywhere.
“Why couldn’t you be fucking normal like your siblings?” your father spat to you over the phone, you could hear how drunk he was. “If you’re going to call me just to say all that then don’t call at all” you said as you hung up, trying to be as quiet as you could to not get any neighbours mad.
If you didn’t go out now, you were sure you would take the nearest sharp object you could find and do something you shouldn’t. The day was mess, and this was the final straw.
It was already pretty late and quickly grabbing your shoes you opened the door and started walking to the exit. But as you were close to stepping out, the creep was standing in his door way, the pornography showing from his room.
He had a knife in his hand. You couldn’t deal with this now. “What the fuck is you looking at?” you barked, enraged. “You should be quieter if you’re talking with someone” he said calmly, looking down at your tank top.
“Yeah or what? Stab me?” you asked him, stepping closer to the knife as it was now pressed up against your stomach but not quite close to draw blood. “Do it” you could’ve sworn you heard someone say that, but it wasn’t him nor you, nor your mind. You wanted to grab the knife from him and cut his throat clean, but you tried to stay calm.
Suddenly a hand wrapped around your shoulders, hand gripping you. “Babe calm down” the man said, it was Moon-jo.
“What are you doing out here with a knife, you’re scaring the lady” he said to the creep as he now looked down. “Go to your room” he said as the door closed in front of you.
He turned to you, his arm never leaving your skin. “You okay?” he asked with a smile. “Yeah, sorry for that” you said.
“Where you going so late?” he asked with concern? or maybe curiosity? you couldn’t tell. “For a walk” you replied quickly as he was now looking straight into your eyes.
“It’s not safe to go alone, let me come with you” he asked and you couldn’t refuse to him, maybe some company wouldn’t be that bad.“Yeah okay”
At first it was awkward, but it turned out nice. You were now both sitting on a random bench, beer in your hands that he got for both of you, even if you insisted on buying it since you still owed him for the ride.
You did regret not putting on a sweater before leaving your room, your scars full on display for everyone to see. You felt vulnerable. Moon-jo was nice enough to not mention them even though you saw those glances he threw at you.
“Are you working tomorrow? I can show you around my clinic and you can sign all the paperwork and everything” he said, taking a sip and looking at you. “Sure, that sounds nice,” “are you sure I’m not a bother though?” you asked, feeling kind of guilty.
“No, no, don’t worry about it, babe” the nickname slid past his lips as he smiled at you. He was giving off an eerie aura, just like the residence itself but you couldn’t deny that comfort washed over you as you spoke to him, watched him carefully.
You knew he watched you carefully as well, or were you just going crazy? Were those awful whispers you heard just your mind playing with you? Telling you to strangle the bitch at work, or the man that harshly bumped into you on purpose. They started a while ago so obviously it wasn’t connected to him, was it?
The next day you spent with Moon-jo, going to his clinic to fill out the paper work, then your current job, stating you were leaving. He walked with you everywhere, he was by your side everywhere you went.
Those jealous glares from your coworkers driving you crazy. At one point you heard them whispering “Why is he with her?” “What a whore” You felt furious, like you could jump them right here right now. “Do it” you heard the whisper once again.
As you were signing the last papers, the whispering didn’t stop. “Ladies do we have a problem?” Moon-jo asked standing beside you. “You know it’s rude to speak like that” he said, face changing into an expression you couldn’t quite place. That’s when they finally stopped talking.
When you were now leaving, you looked back at the women sitting, throwing them a dirty look as the tall man opened the door for you.
Once you sat in his car you felt relieved. “I fucking hate that place” you whispered, accidentally saying it out loud. “You should’ve told them how you feel, they don’t deserve you there either way.”
You didn’t know how to reply, no one usually said things like that to you. “Come on you’re probably hungry, let’s go to the residence” he hummed, as you buckled your belt.
You were now sitting at the dining table in the shared kitchen, as Moon-jo pulled out a box of fresh meat and 2 cans of some kind of drink. He sat down across you, opening the box. You stared at his slender hands, he could easily choke you with them. It would probably feel nice, wouldn’t it?
“It’s rude to stare, babe” he laughed when you zoomed back in, chopsticks held out to you. “Sorry” you said and took them into your grasp.
“Here, try this its so good” he said as he picked up a piece with his own chopsticks, bringing it to your mouth. The meat tasted weird, but in a good way. It wasn’t beef nor pork or any type of meet you couldn’t tell what was it.
“Hmm” “It’s good” you said chewing it, looking at him as he popped a can open and handed it to you. “What meat is this?” you took another bite with your own cutlery now. “It’s human meat.” he smiled and slowly put it in his mouth, smiling.
Huh? Was he joking? You smiled at him. “Well it still tastes so good” you joked back, or maybe you didn’t, you don’t know yourself at this point. You took a sip of the drink, washing the meat down.
“I’m glad” the man across you said, opening his own drink. He looked so painfully beautiful, you couldn’t help but stare. “I’m going out of town for couple of days, maybe you want to do something together after I’m back?” he spoke up, silencing the comfortable silence.
“Yeah of course” you smiled at him.
Moon-jo has been out on a business trip, and you are losing your mind in this place. The whispering stopped, now they’re in your head, you’re sure. The faint screaming you heard at night also stopped. Has it always been him?
Your neighbours been annoying you more and more, your father has been screaming at you for nothing. You felt like you’re about to snap. Do something real bad.
Without Moon-jo you couldn’t find comfort anywhere. Without his glares. You stopped eating, falling back into an old habit. He’s been gone for only 4 days. You couldn’t understand why did he have such an effect on you.
It’s 2am now and you’re walking in an alley, trying to calm down and clear your head but it’s not working. Everything pisses you off. You had your hand in your sweatpants pocket, clutching a hand knife you had. You had to have protection, didn’t you?
The final snap came when a girl passed you. You couldn’t forget her filthy face. In school she used to bully you with no remote, she made your life a living hell back in the day.
You turned your head back when you heard her laughing. You had to speak up now, for your younger self. “Got a problem?” you snapped as she stopped in her tracks.
“Y/n!” she put on a fake face. You look down on her, glaring at her slutty outfit, did she just left a club?
“you haven’t changed one bit” she said, at this point looking kind of scared. She looked at you too, noticing how pale you looked, cheekbones showing more than usual. You looked scary.
“Yeah?” you came closer to her, cornering her into a wall. “Move away you bitch” she barked, the alcohol smell coming from her mouth.
“Oh no, no” you felt hot from how angry you were, you had to take it out on someone soon.
“All those years, you didn’t move away from me” now the knife is out, pressed up against her bare stomach.
“All the laughing, all the jokes, all the comments” you continued as her gaze was now filled with horror.
“Yeah you deserved it, freak” “Look at you, you have no respect for yourself” she said, face coming closed to yours as she looked down at your arm. “You cut yourself for attention too, you never stopped, did you?”
“Shut up” you gritted your teeth. “Whatever act you got now, it won’t work on me” she said, trying to move you away. “Do it.” the whisper, or the voice said. You couldn’t bother to tell them apart now.
The blade finally punctured her stomach, straight to her liver. She gasped as she squeezed your shoulders. You couldn’t stop now, tears flowing down your cheeks. You stabbed her once, twice and the third time came.
By that point she didn’t resist, she couldn’t even scream. As her eyes lost the life they had in them just a couple minutes ago, you slit her throat. Blood was everywhere, on your hands, on your face, just everywhere.
You slid down the wall beside her, now lifeless, body you fully broke down. You looked at your bare arm, full of scars. You weren’t worth living this life.
You place the blade on your forearm, placing a cut after cut. It felt nice, like you were alive. You didn’t even realise how numb you felt until you felt the burning, your blood mixing with the dry one.
“Babe?” you flinched at the voice. Moon-jo? He was now on the ground with you, hugging you tight. It wasn’t a voice in your head, it wqs his. He made you snap.
“How can you even acknowledge me?” you cried, “I’m disgusting, I just killed someone!” you continued as he gripped you tighter. “Look at me, my skin is sickening” you flashed him your wrists, blood gushing. Maybe dying in his arms wouldn’t be so bad.
“Babe you’re beautiful, there’s nothing wrong with you, look at me” he said as he pulled up his black sleeve, scars just like yours.
“I’m proud of you” he said motioning to the corpse next to you. “I’m not going to let you die here, don’t worry” he continued to comfort you, as you lost consciousness. You couldn’t see but he was smiling hard.
