#moonweeping

[willowyweeper]

I can’t believe I’m so dependent on anti-depressants. I never thought of this guy in MONTHS, and when I did, I… didn’t care. But now that I went 6 days without antidepressants? I’m crying over him. I’m wishing to see him again. I’m cursing his existence again. Jesus Christ. I can’t believe I didn’t get better

[willowyweeper]

They say not being in their life is karma enough, but frankly I don’t believe it.

Watching his girlfriend get crazier and crazier every month, trying to parse together how they even get along, trying to come up with the healthiest interpretations of them. It’s just not working. It’s easy to say “well that’s karma”, but I know, even when I can’t understand it, that somehow it’s healthy. Somehow it works.

Everytime I’m wrong about something, or everytime I’m right; it’s always somehow for the best. And even if she was toxic or things are turning out bad.

It’s not like he would think of me anyway. It’s not like he’s thinking “boy, this must be karma”

[willowyweeper]

I’m actually too ugly to be longing

Too ugly to be hanging on

I’m too ugly for my pinterest board lamenting lost love. I would never be chosen anyway. Look at me.

I’m too ugly for it. I never had a chance. I could never. I’m too ugly to be hurt. People would see me cry and laugh. They hear my pain and roll their eyes. They hear the story and find the humor. “I bet she’s crying, it’s so cringe, someone like her”

I’m too ugly to have these feelings. Why express them?

[willowyweeper]

Why do you have everything I don’t? “It’s okay, they weren’t meant for you anyway:)”’

They were all I had. I have no one else and I will have no one else. I don’t want to “wait” for something better. They aren’t getting punished for hurting me, they get everything and I only lose