Vent Side-Blog

Literally no one cares and it’s killing me

[bisexualbeatriceglass]

on wanting and standing it

"So We Must Meet Apart" by Gabrielle Bates and Jennifer S. Cheng // "I cannot live with You (640)" by Emily Dickinson // People We Meet on Vacation by Emily Henry // Brokeback Mountain by Annie Proulx // "I SHALL NOT WANT" by peargirl20 // "Molly Brodak" by Molly Brodak // "Famously Close" by Al Olender // "Pushing It Down and Praying" by Lizzy McAlpine // "Litany in Which Certain Things Are Crossed Out" by Richard Siken

[willowyweeper]

I can’t believe I’m so dependent on anti-depressants. I never thought of this guy in MONTHS, and when I did, I… didn’t care. But now that I went 6 days without antidepressants? I’m crying over him. I’m wishing to see him again. I’m cursing his existence again. Jesus Christ. I can’t believe I didn’t get better

[caffeinatedgirlfriend]

"i love you" "ill never leave" "you don't annoy me" Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar

[ashstfu]

[dyingisheavenly]

cons of being close to me

- i either think you’re perfect or highkey hate you and it either lasts a year or an hour before it switches

- i test you to see if you’ll leave me until you do 😛

- what is a boundary and can I ignore it

- reads into everything and needs reassurance once every 3 mins on avg

- will cry if I feel like you don’t like me or like other people over me

- will suspect you hate me without any actual reason and probably will jump you for it

- will vent and delete the messages once i send them

pros of being close to me

- im funny

[p3rf3ctcha0s]

[sickfrr]

People don’t actually notice when you slowly pull away. They only notice when you’re gone, and even then it’s more about the inconvenience of your absence than the pain of losing you

[justafuckingdisaster]

Everyone must be so sick of me. I am sure they are. I am trying to hold it together, but i cant.

[professionallyunstable-deactiva]

when the "i don’t need anyone anyway“ act wears off and all i want is for someone to hold me in their arms and tell me their biggest fear is losing me.

[louisegluckpdf]

got my lab results back turns out i’m full of rage because i am full of grief

[willowyweeper]

God fucking damnit. It was actually the heartbreak jesus fucking christ I cannot believe I’m doing this again

[bippus]

Ohhhh so I was doomed from the beginning okay

[willowyweeper]

Maaaan reading through my old posts and tags is really hitting in an uncomfortable way. Like, yay me for getting over the heartbreak. Like that part I do not relate to anymore. But the abandonment and loneliness, “facing the rest of my life”… uhhh wow nothing has changed. It’s like, I know who I wrote those posts about, and now I have new people that apply to the exact same posts. Crazy. I know what I wrote those posts about, and now new things apply.

I feel the same way after 8 months. It’s all different, but exactly the same. I really am the agent of my own sorrow. As long as I’m here, I will always be relating to those posts. Crazy.

[willowyweeper]

I promised to kill myself this year if I can’t find happiness or a reason to keep going. However nowadays I wish the day came sooner. I truly do not want to wait any longer. This can all literally be over.

[willowyweeper]

The day was yesterday. And it could not have been a worse day. Just the day before I felt happy, I felt like the whole “suicide” thing was ridiculous. And then it happened. The same thing that put me in depression last year. The same realization. I haven’t changed at all. I’ve just been avoiding everything bad. Every bad thought, every unhappy feeling.

And then it happened.

I can’t avoid it anymore. How cruel has the world been to me. To choose that specific day. I chose this suicide day under the assumption that my life would be so much better by now. And it was. It was until yesterday. What was the point. Am I doomed to be stuck like this forever? Why is the world constantly giving me hope and taking it away? I thought I was past that. I thought I was prepared for it? Oh well. I survived my suicide day. Idk for how much longer though.

[kosmogrl]

[anxeious]

[willowyweeper]

Y’all I’m halfway through the suicide book, and not only have I not broken down in tears but it also hasn’t convinced me to live.

Am I cooked?