i am so sleepy...my insomnia is going to kill me, also my low humor, at this point how much i relate to my tv headed husband on facts of feel no one likes my work for real, dedicating myself to be forced to do art, for feel someone in society, because if posting once piece of art at night/day i barely get remembered, now imagine if i take days even a week just for take a rest
....i had a mental breakdown as i worked at Mr. 4's past, i was crying because my boyfriend every night he feels so alone because i disappear to art, to do something for you all who no even care to remember me, i am nobody's favorite, i would never be at least a bit recognized, i hate people on my past had point me out as the best doing what i loved back fhen when i was a child, because my ego was feed up, now i am here thinking i should be one of the bests when i BARELY even get a FUCKING RESHARE ONE since my best friend leaved me i no thought of nothing, i thought everything was lost, i even for a few months lost the motivation for draw, barely drawing anything, till i saw Mr. Puzzles and...decided start off first with my Swap AU...got a bit of people...then came Trickster Mr. Puzzles, gosh...how much people loved him...they expected a lot, i felt for a moment that he was a salvation...then just started decaying again...and i was on a existential crisis, thinking Swap AU was so hated because of Swap Puzzl3...i created GOP!Mr. Puzzles...yet even if GOP!Mr. Puzzles isn't touched much, he got a bit more of attention on his creation time, gee even he has an AU being an AU...and then Trivia...idk why i feel he just made me fall again...idk, but since he came just i started get...being ghosted...idk if i am shadow banned...idk if i am a joke to you all, who can play with my feelings and my hopes of fit on society....but...i just want feel loved...i no have friends irl...no friends online more than my boyfriend that got a job and responsibility so he even if tries so hard, sometimes is off for so long...
i just feel so alone...i want be a fit to this community...i feel so superior...and yesterday my boyfriend said he felt so alone on nights because i take long on drawing made me just snap into pieces seeing no matter how hard i work...i would never be...enough...loved...anyone's "favorite" ...i want stop everything now...but when i always say "stop" ...i always come back doing art, foolish thinking i would be something important when i am just a lowkey artist, who is fan of various others and only that
...i want to give up...
