In exactly one week (on Friday 11th June) I’ll be a whole year opioid free 🥳🙌🏻!!! And yes, I’m celebrating BIG. Detox was literal hell, so I deserve cake 🍰 I’ve been on high dose opioids from around age 12. I’d never known adulthood without them. And I’d never known me without them. Did they help ease my pain? Yes. But they also have a long list of horrible side effects that were massively detrimental to my quality of life. I was also on such high doses that any injury or infection etc would put me in a position of raving needing a syringe driver or PCA to manage my pain; I had no room to go up. And since reducing and coming off them, I’ve found there are genuinely better ways for me to manage my pain. I am more proactive; before I’d wait til the pain was bad enough to take morphine or fentanyl... now I’m constantly monitoring my pain, and adjusting my behaviour and activity to manage it. Pain is sneaky and insidious and hateful; but the meds are sneaky too. You take them, and your pain eases... but the pain hasn’t gone, it’s just waiting for the meds to wear off so it can hid you again. I am still in horrific pain every second of every day; my palliative care consultant says it’s a miracle I do anything, especially everything I do, with the severity of the pain my condition causes. But I’ve found doing things is what keeps me going; it gives me something to focus on that isn’t the pain. I don’t judge anyone on opioids, or expect them to follow my journey. Our bodies are our own, and we’re all different. I’m also still prescribed opioids; they’re still there for when I really need them. And by using them less, a far, far lower dose will be way more effective. But for me, whilst this had been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, it’s also the most worthwhile. I have always been myself, even on all the meds. But now I’m MORE myself. #moremethanever #oneyearopioidfree #countingdownthedays #imexpectingaferrarimumanddad #opioiddetox #palliativecarewarrior https://www.instagram.com/p/CPuEYeLNJDN/?utm_medium=tumblr
