Hi how r u? Can I request a headcannon for Alcina with a gf that has a history of self harm and struggles a lot with their anger issues, specifically anger towards themselves. Like they make a mistake or something and have an extreme reaction like “damn I’m so stupid, I need to punish myself,” kinda like that. And maybe one day Alcina just finds them breathing heavily and shaking, leaning up against the wall and then trying not to do anything to themselves? Also sorry, I’m weird. You don’t have to do this if it’s uncomfortable for you too sorry if it is
I'm perfectly alright with this and more for someone to read for a bit of comfort from someone they like, no need to apologize :) and I'm going great, I hope you are as well <3
Cries Of Comfort
Tw: Accidental Self Harm
No, not this again. Why. I swear this isn't how it should've went. I can't do anything right can't I?!
I felt a tear run down my skin, onto my arm as I sat in front of my painting for our upcoming anniversary, all ruined with from anger and frustration I had because I couldn't get a detail right and now it's nothing. I spent so many hours on it to come to this..more tears began to come, staining the carpet a bit already feeling it all come back. All the pain and punishments I've given myself over things that seem so simple and nothing but God does it fill me with rage.
I grabbed the paint brush harshly dippling it with paint and dashed it through the canvas. Over and over and over again...i didn't care what words came out of my mouth, I just wanted to give Alcina something...
The next day I woke up with a blurry vision, my hands with dried paint and so was my clothes. Alcina was coming tonight and I haven't finished her gift...I ran to the bathroom quickly showering yet being careful and rushed out to get dressed and back to work.
Stay calm, you have to do this right. For her.
I gently dipped my brush again in paint and began light sketching her out, I ignored the mess around me, I can't clean it up right now. Even if it was a bother I just couldn't stop painting.
Everything was perfect, it was beginning to be right, oh god..id cry out of happiness for the best painting of my beloved girlfriend...!
I was doing final touches until a slight knock starlted me and made me brush the wrong way
"Hey, came here to tell you that Al-" "Get out." "But Alc-" "I said get out of here." With that, the door shut closed and suddenly went into a rage. Threw my paint jars against the wall, my hands began picking up glass from me frantically looking for a new canvas and all that was heard was my shouts and cries before standing up and sobbing trying to calm down from sudden anger and frustration.
Panting heavily I heard the door open and turned around to see Alcina frowning and slowly walking over the choatic mess, looked down my hands and quickly ordered the first aid kit. "What happened my dear? Why so bloody, your eyes swollen, I was afraid when I heard your screams..." She held you close yet careful with your hands getting in the way. "I can't do anything right for you can i?! I tried doing a painting for you, I did!! 8 times this week while you were gone and you see how horrible I am?!" She looked around for my painting, picked it up and smiled.
"Here, first let me heal you, then I'll teach you a trick my love." She kissed my cheek as the maiden passed over the aid kit and held the rubbing alcohol. She dabs it a bit on the cotton and Alcina took it thanking her, while she took the pieces out she blew over my hand as the cotton was being dabbed all over my hand, it stung a lot...
After being wrapped up and now able to move them a bit normally, Alcina took the brush, my painting, and me to her room for hobbies like mine. She sat me down on her lap, a new set of painting colors ready, and she poured a cup of water to dip the brush in. She placed the drawing in front of us and began. Each color she blended went exactly like mine and my mistake was no longer there.
"See my little lamb? You did nothing wrong, it was an accident, we all make mistakes and can fix them. See how I did that?" I nodded surprised how well it was gone, "By the way, I don't need something to have your love proven to me, I've been wanting to see you all week, I was only eager to leave to see the only special girl in my life, I love your imperfections and flaws, ok?" I melted smiling and gave her a hug nodding. "Never blame yourself, you're learning, it hurts me seeing you do this."
"I know...past things..i only want the best out of me but it seems I have to tone it down on myself.." "Doesn't make you any less, it's ok to not expect much or do anything at all. Here, let's go hang it up together and make dessert, have fun making it." I nodded smiling at how supportive she was and assuring me.
We hung it up in the middle of the castle to make it be the first thing it would be seen, I felt so accomplished and proud. I couldn't ask for a better girlfriend, I love her.
