They all told me, "It's alright to move on. We knew you loved him, and he loved you"
But how do you move on when your whole world has stopped?
I still hear bits of him in those around me. The phrases we all still use from him.
I'll catch his cologne on a passerby and be taken back to his arms.
He would be scolding me for how long I've held onto him. He'd say, "Be Tough, you've got to carry on"
But my heart sags too low to carry on anymore.
The doctors said he'd been sick for a while. But he was a tough kid and we didn't know the disease had taken hold. He'd been in pain for the past 9 months, but he never showed.
He would just say, "Be Tough, you've got to carry on"
I still go visit his mountain, the place he told me he'd always be. His parents have made a momentum for him up here. I add a rock each time I come.
The sunsets differently up here. The colors stretch across the sky. Sometimes, I can imagine his fingers reaching out to me through those fading colors.
Up here my heart doesn't feel so heavy. The load lightens when I see those wild flowers he loved. I've been tougher now than I've ever been, but I still fall short.
They tell me, "it's alright to let him go, you're young you can't hold on forever". But instead I find myself alone on this mountain watching the sun close the day.
I'll be tough another day, but today I need you.
•tb
-inspired by a young cousin I lost. Perspective from his girlfriend
