summary: bam usually doesn’t say no to a stunt, but if he does need a little convincing, the jackass crew knows just who to ask
warnings: nsfw themes, drinking, typical jackass shenanigans, language, violence, smoking, knox is a bit pervy but it’s all in good fun, injuries
word count: 3.2k words (longer than intended bcs of the stunt stuff)
it was a day like any other working on the set of the jackass films, albeit as a production assistant and -thankfully, for your wellbeing - not a cast member. you had become close with the guys since having worked on the first movie, and were delighted when they invited you back to help on the sequel.
“you’re sure you won’t be in just this one-“ johnny pleaded, telling you for the third time the latest bit idea he’d had in the shower that morning that he needed more participants for.
“absolutely not,” you laughed, and he sighed, putting an arm around your shoulder as you finished your cigarette break.
“come on! you got a face made for the camera,” he insisted, and you elbowed him in the ribs.
“quit being such a flirt, knoxville,” you scolded, and he pretended to feign innocence. “you can flatter me all you want, i’m not doing any stunts.”
“i don’t know what you’re talking about, i speak only the truth,” he said, holding his hand over his chest. you grabbed his wrist, moving his hand over a few inches.
“your heart is on this side, idiot,” you rolled your eyes, but smiled fondly at him. “what are we filming next?” you asked, picking up your bag of equipment and grabbing a few bottles of water from the cooler nearby to bring with you.
“riot control test two,” he answered, falling into step next to you as you walked back to the building where the crew was finishing setting up the stunt.
“just you again?” you asked, remembering the first one where he had been solo.
dave, ryan, and bam were all gathered watching them bring in the stingmore mine as you approached.
“i can’t believe i signed up for this,” ryan shook his head, nodding at the three men acknowledgment as you stopped next to them.
“there’s no way he dragged you into this,” bam said, running his hands through his hair.
“ha!” you laughed, shaking your head, “not a chance in hell. i’m just here to help out.”
“one day we’ll get you in a stunt,” knoxville said, not giving up hope, before disappearing to the other side of the room to talk to tremaine.
“he seriously still thinks he’s gonna convince you one of these days?” dunn asked, and you shrugged, setting the water bottles on a table and letting your bag slide off your shoulder to rest at your feet.
“hell no! if you start being on camera i’m gonna lose my title as number one eye candy,” bam protested.
“you wish,” dunn teased, which started a playful shoving match between him and bam. dave was quiet, and you could tell he was nervous.
“you okay?” you asked, handing him a bottle of water. his eyes were wide as he stared at where they were placing a practice target in front of the mine for the demonstration.
he nodded unconvincingly, the sound of bam and ryan knocking something over drew your attention away.
“if you two hurt yourselves before the cameras even start rolling tremaine is gonna have both your asses!” you yelled, leaving dave to check on dumb and dumber.
•
“we’re here with daniel alvarez from als technologies and uh - why don’t you explain what this is and what we’re going to be doing?” knoxville said, cameras rolling as he stood between bam and dunn.
“well this is the 460 stingmore mine, it has approximately seven hundred 45 caliber rubber balls in it,” the expert - daniel - explained, gesturing toward the explosive device in front of them. “they’ll fly out of there at about five hundred feet per second. they use these charges on the outside of embassies to protect the gates from people trying to break in.”
dave was already shaking his head, and from bams expression you could tell he was having second thoughts about this idea as well.
bam was probably your closest friend on the crew, and when you weren’t on set filming you were often at his house with him and ryan, as well as the rest of the cky crew when they were around (which was nearly constant).
“looks like it’s gonna suck,” dunn said, his eyebrows raised slightly as the camera panned to him and bam wearing their protective earphones.
“it is, i promise,” daniel agreed.
everyone got set for the demonstration, the remote being handed to johnny as everyone stood clear of the explosive.
“fire in the hole!” he said to the camera, before pressing the button, laughing with boyish glee as the target standee blew apart from the blast. “oh yeah!”
“fuck that!” bam exclaimed, exiting the room to join up with you and the other crew members who had moved outside for safety, dunn trailing close behind him.
“fucking christ!” the blond said.
“that is great!” you could hear knoxville’s voice as bam stood beside you.
“dave?” you asked, noticing the look of terror on his face as he clutched his headphones around his neck with trembling hands.
a camera man panned in on him, and he shook his head.
“i’m about to like have an anxiety attack,” he said, turning pale like he was going to be sick. “i just can’t do this one,” he decided with another shake of his head toward the camera, “it’s just too gnarly.”
the crew moved outside while they reset the mine and made sure the cameras in place, a camera man trailing after bam as he walked out through the doorway.
“dude knoxville is-“ he pointed over his shoulder to wear johnny was walking behind him to find dunn. “if knoxville goes in there dude… i’ll french kiss him.”
you laughed as you found knoxville trying to convince ryan to go ahead with the stunt; the blond was sitting on a patio chair having a cigarette.
“are you insane?” he asked.
“all you have to do is stand there!” johnny insisted.
“yeah, and get killed! look at that thing,” dunn protested.
“this is nuts, dude - i’m out,” bam said, grabbing a smoke from the pack in your back pocket before walking away before you could yell at him for it.
“it’s just loud - it’s gonna hurt really bad, but it’s just loud,” johnny promised.
“you’re nuts,” dunn pointed at him.
“come on, it’s footage,” johnny replied, a smile tugging at his lips when dunn sighed in surrender.
“i’m not doing it if bam’s not doing it,” he decided, taking a drag of his cigarette.
“looks like it’s just you then, captain,” you said, patting johnny on the back as the camera man buggered off.
“not if you convince bam bam to do it,” johnny said, raising his eyebrows up and down.
“and what makes you think i can get him to change his mind?” you laughed.
“oh come on, he’ll do anything you ask him to,” ryan laughed, no hostility in his tone.
“that is not true!” you scoffed, but they both game you a look that said ‘bullshit’. it had become a bit of a running theory on set that bam had a thing for you, and while you weren’t opposed to the idea, you had yet to see much evidence of it yourself. you and bam were friends, and he happened to be a clingy drunk; and it was a rare occurrence for anyone on the jackass set to be sober. sure, the two of you had made out at a party once or twice, but who amongst the cast hadn’t kissed eachother at this point? that didn’t mean bam had a crush on you.
“pleeeeease?” johnny said, wrapping his arms around you, pinning your arms to your sides as he squeezed you until you caved.
“fine! i’ll try, but i make no promises. i wouldn’t agree to this shit either,” you laughed, and johnny finally let you go.
“make me proud!” he said, saluting you (which you returned half ass-edly, before heading in the direction bam had gone.
it didn’t take you long to find him; they still had other stunts to film today so he hadn’t wandered far from the action.
“i want my cigarette back,” you called, his head turning in your direction and a smile spreading across his face.
“come take it,” he challenged, taking a drag as he adjusted his dark sunglasses on his face.
plucking it from between his fingers, he pinched your ribs with his empty hand, causing you to let out a shriek before bursting into a fit of laughter.
“asshole,” you said, putting the filter between your lips.
“knoxville send you to find me?” he asked, and you nodded. “he’s crazy if he thinks i’m doing that shit.”
“i think he’s crazy regardless,” you agreed lightheartedly. you loved johnny, but you did sometimes wonder if perhaps he had a few screws loose.
“dunn said he’ll only do it if you do, and knox said it won’t be as funny if it’s just him,” you explained, getting straight to business.
“hell no! why don’t you do it if you think it’s such a great idea?”
“i don’t get paid to get shot, i get paid to carry equipment and powder your noses - not literally,” you corrected yourself when he smirked at your choice of words. “come on bam, you just have to stand there.”
you weren’t sure why you were trying so hard to convince him to do it; maybe because a part of you wanted dunn to be right about your powers over bam.
“what the hell’s in it for me?”
“what do you want?” you asked, passing the cigarette back to him as it burned closer and closer to your fingertips.
“to not get shot by rubber balls!”
you thought for a moment, already concerned that the two of you were stalling the shoot for too long and worried that tremaine would start getting pissed off pretty soon.
“what if i take my top off?”
“yeah, right-” bam said, his eyes going wide behind his shades as you lifted your shirt up under your chin, thankful that no one else was around. “i’m listening…” he smiled.
“what, do i have to take my pants off too?” you laughed, pulling your shirt back down as he shrugged dramatically, scratching the back of his neck.
“i mean - maybe not here-“
“alright, you perv. what do you think i am?” you laughed, before looking over your shoulder to see knoxville and tremaine watching expectantly from a distance, thankfully at an angle that they couldn’t have seen much; clearly you had to hurry up.
“bam! we doing this or what?” tremaine called, and bam looked at you expectantly. you rolled your eyes before leaning closer and whispering something in his ear that made his eyebrows shoot upwards.
“serious?” he asked, and you nodded with a smile. “you’re evil,” he shook his head with a grin, throwing an arm around your shoulder before walking back towards the others. “yeah - fuck, before i change my mind again.”
“yes!” johnny said, jumping up in excitement. “dunn let’s go!” he said, clapping his hands together, and you heard dunn groan in defeat.
“no way he actually said he’ll do it.”
“magic powers i tell ya,” dunn pointed at you, and you flipped him the bird playfully.
“shut up,” bam said, dropping his arm from around you as he picked up his headphones off the table dunn had his feet up on.
“what the hell did you say to him?” ryan asked, but you just shrugged, watching as bam went to stand next to knoxville in front of the camera.
•
the three of them stood in position in front of the mine, bam’s shoulders tense as his hands shook at his sides, before johnny gave the thumbs up. the mine went off with a bang that had you covering your ears, even from where you stood watching from outside the room, and bam and ryan fell to the ground as the three of them let out various sounds of pain.
“son of a fuck you!” ryan shouted, stumbling to his feet before taking a knee, tearing the protective mask and headphones off his head. “holy shit!” he said as he crawled on the floor, smoke settling around them. bam was curled up in the fetal position, and you felt a little bit guilty for talking him into this.
“you guys are fucking assholes! my god,” ryan continued his exclamations as you entered the room, grabbing waters for the guys and walking over to bam as he sat up. you were careful to stay out of the shot, lingering just off camera where you felt comfortable staying. johnny took one of the bottles from your hand, and your eyebrows knit together in worry as you watched bam writhing in pain.
“bam you alright?” johnny asked as he winced in pain.
“are you crying?” dunn asked. “i think he’s hurt,” he said, half teasing, half sincere.
“can we get bam some water?” knoxville asked, his voice cracking with a laugh as bam got to his knees. “maybe a shirley temple?”
“i ride a fucking skateboard, i don’t get shot,” bam said, his voice shaky as he braced his hands on his thighs.
“they all went for my stomach,” dunn said, lifting up his tshirt to inspect the damages.
“i got hit in the legs worst,” johnny said, his pants suddenly around his ankles as he pointed out the small circular bruises forming on his skin. “did any get me in the face?” he asked, and you stifled a laugh, thinking that if he had been shot in the face, surely he would be able to feel it. “you got hit in the stomach pretty good,” johnny laughed as bam lifted his black tank top up, the heartagram tattoo above his belt (that was pretty much useless because his jeans were always so low) on display. around a dozen red and purple circles littered the skin of his abdomen and chest, and he took a sip of the water you had given him as johnny once again asked the camera man if his face was okay.
“that was great - thanks fellas!” johnny laughed, as dunn started a round of applause and the segment wrapped filming.
“don’t know what you said to get him in here, but that was great,” tremaine said, walking over to you.
you shook your head as you looked over at bam. “you don’t wanna know,” you laughed.
•
back at the hotel, a successful day of stupidity was being capped of with the usual debauchery of a jackass afterparty, with no shortage of substances and bad decisions. you were currently in someone’s hotel room - steve-o’s you were pretty sure - a drink in your hand and an empty pack of cigarettes in your lap as you sat sideways in the uncomfortable arm chair by the window. there was a bunch of people here you didn’t recognize, and the music was so loud you were sure someone from the front desk would be knocking on the door to complain any minute now; but you didn’t care.
bam was jumping on the bed, beer sloshing out of his can and spilling onto the white bedspread at his feet.
“come down here before you hit your head on the ceiling,” you laughed, and he smiled as if that was the greatest idea he had heard all day.
“bet i could,” he said, jumping higher, his dark curls bumping against the popcorn ceiling and leaving white dust in his hair.
“bam!” you scolded, setting your drink down on the nightstand and walking over to the side of the bed.
he collapsed suddenly on the mattress, his now empty can falling from his hand and landing somewhere on the floor to be found by some unlucky housekeeping attendant in the morning. his chest rose as fell as he caught his breath, laying with his head over the side of the bed at your hip, looking up at you.
“you’re upside down,” he smiled, reaching out for your hips and letting his hands rest on the waistband of your jeans.
“i think technically you’re the one that’s upside down,” you corrected, distracted by his fingers as they tugged at your belt loops.
“you want to get out of here?” he asked, and you nodded.
“don’t stand up to fast,” you warned, but he was already on his feet at the other end of the bed, eyes screwing shut as the blood rushed out of his head now that he was upright again.
“you guys out of here?” dunn asked as you trailed after bam, and you nodded, taking the cigarette from behind his ear and placing it between your lips.
“good work today you two,” knoxville called, appearing next to you seemingly out of thin air.
“i’m never doing that shit again,” bam said, hand sliding under his shirt to rub at the bruises on his ribs gingerly. “see you losers later.”
“night guys,” you smiled, letting bam grab your wrist and drag you out into the hallway. before the door was even fully shut, you felt the wall behind your back and bam’s lips on yours, the stolen cigarette falling to the floor and quickly being forgotten. a lucky surprise for someone later.
your fingers laced through his hair, deepening the already messy exchange of drunken kisses, all teeth and tongue as his hips pressed against yours.
“which way is your room?” he asked against your neck, and you pointed to the left, his hand wrapping around your arm as he pulled you in that direction with haste.
“slow down,” you laughed, the hallway spinning around you slightly as you stumbled, bumping into his back as he stopped, waiting for you to get your keycard from your pocket.
the two of you stumbled into the room, bam’s lips never leaving your neck as you dragged him toward the bed, instructing him to sit. your fingers fiddled with his belt as you knelt on the floor between his legs, and he sighed, falling backwards on the bed, shirt rising up to expose his hipbones and a few of the bruises from the rubber bullets that had begun to turn a dark shade of purple.
“i can’t believe this is how you convinced me to get shot,” he laughed, sucking in a breath as you placed a kiss on his tattoo.
“it sounds like i’m a bad influence when you say it like that,” you said, unzipping his jeans as he lifted his hips to help you slide them off.
“you definitely are,” he teased as you pushed his shirt up, kissing each of the bruises softly as if it were some sort of compensation. “fuck-“ he breathed out as your hand slipped into the front of his boxers, wrapping around his length.
“you really agreed to get shot just so i’d give you a blowjob?”
“you make me sound like a cheap whore - ah!” he hissed as you wrapped your lips around the tip, his head falling back onto the bed again. you laughed softly around him, the vibration making the muscles in his stomach tense.
“you just had to ask, you know,” you said, pulling your head back to look up at him, his blue eyes meeting yours.
“huh?” he asked, sitting up with a confused look on his face.
“next time just ask,” you laughed. “you don’t have to stand in front of a bomb,” you said, taking him in your mouth again as he grinned down at you on your knees in front of him.
