#mugsrambles

[mugboy]

every day can be hard monday when you have a bad memory!!! rewatching old podcast episodes and smiling like it's the first time I've heard any of this!!

[mugboy]

every so often i think about monochrome dan and phil and immediately get such a gut wrenching ache in my heart. i don't think I've ever had a fic hit so close to home for me. Dan's depression feels so similar to mine and i find myself rereading (I've reread it twice now, and probably will again soon) it to try and internalize the messages and lessons they learn. pair that with you will get through this night and it gives me just enough hope.

monochrome you make me unwell. god...

[mugboy]

was looking through old pictures and found this one of when my bf was gonna leave for uni. i did bring truth bombs everywhere. its quite sweet finding this hehe. like they've been there the whole time.. in the background of my life til now.

funnily enough one of the things that brought me and my boyfriend together was muse!! reheating dan and phil nachos dear god

[mugboy]

Saw your post and I just wanna say that I sadly havent been keeping up with d&p a lot recently as my mental health has been absolute shit and havent had the energy. But from what im seeing on tumblr rn, I'm loving this Hard Launch era. Like the boys seem so genuinely happy and content in their life and as basically an OG (2012 phannie 🤪) it makes me so very fucking happy. Like I remember the younows and when Dan was, admittedly, very closed off.

I mean even when they were soft launching and stuff, I saw the change and now fully out in the open, I am truly blessed to be alive for this (as cruel as the current state of the world is being to my mental health). Seeing D&P living their best life is truly a blessing (in the gayest way possible)

hi!! first off, I'm sorry to hear you're not feeling that great :( its hard to engage with the things you love when you feel like shit. much love and i hope things get better soon <3

the hard launch era is so fun i agree!! I can't really comment at all on what it's been like before that because i wasn't around or was far too young to know, but after going back through older videos and reading what others have said, watching their coming out videos after the hard launch, it's just so crazy. i have a hard time realizing that they're the same people, they just seem so much lighter. i can't imagine how hard and heavy it must've been weighing down on them.

I've seen a couple younows and other clips from old live streams and it's so hard seeing how much dan was trying.

my first exposure was basically im gay i think, and going in basically blind (haha) to that was quite interesting. i had only just started to come to terms with my own queerness and i think it's really amazing how both dan and phil became the people they needed when they were younger and the impact they had on me definitely helped, even when i didn't know who they were properly.

seeing all of the soft launch era videos too, they're just so warm and comforting. its a "we know you know" kinda thing but i especially love seeing them go oh my gosh we can just be ourselves now. the vibes were so good. it's even more fun now. im not making sense i don't think others have put it far more articulately than i ever could.

i just really love seeing queer people be themselves. especially after all they've been through. it gives me some hope that things will be like that when I'm their age. im so grateful to live in the same time as them.

[mugboy]

i would like to share that i’ve been trying to watch every single dnp video from all of their channels IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER ever since july…. i take breaks when i get burnt out from watching but so far im at 2016 i believe LMAO

holy shit thats really impressive!! i tried doing that chronological playlist and i think i made it to. early 2009. i just don't have the attention span for it despite this being the only thing im interested in right now. but old school phil has a place in my heart.

still - 2016!! wow. i should try to go again haha.

[mugboy]

im bored as, gimme ur dnp thoughts, hot takes and stims that won't leave your mind. like how is your day going. anything idgaf. paragraphs. sentences. questions - don't care im incredibly bored rn. i like hearing what others are up to.

[mugboy]

my evening is about to be so good... my evening is about to be devastating and deeply personal.. my evening is gonna ruin tomorrow before it even starts...

[mugboy]

dan and phil twilight au.. i would wanna write it but i don't think id be able to get their exact personalities down. but im thinking vampire dan. phil being disappointed that its not like buffy when dan tells him and dans just kinda gobsmacked because he never anticipated that THAT is the reaction he'd get. that scene in midnight sun where edward goes through the cds in Bella's car and it's dan and phil being excited over both liking muse. there is no jacob really, its more like the girl in prague where dan thinks theres something going on between the two of them but phil hasn't told dan he's gay and dan is inventing reasons not to kill the girl in prague.. because its still dan at the end of the day and he's convinced that being a vampire has totally ruined him of any humanity and internalized homophobia rears its ugly head. i want nervous stalker vampire dan trying so hard to convince himself the reason hes so protective of phil is because he's just sooo delicious smelling and its not at ALL because he has a crush on him. i want phil catching on and figuring out the truth and instead finding ways to fuck with dan because he thinks its adorable. would i give dan the mind reading powers.. maybe i think it could definitely be funny. this could honestly just be a vampire au but twilight is too fun to not do. phil getting hunted by James and while scared out of his mind, relishing in the fact he'll get to see dan lose his shit.

VAMPIRE DAN IN THE TRAPPER HAT. yes its a 2009 au.

probably been done to death but if i ever get the courage man.. i wanna try