#musabenedetta

[twocandles]

musabenedetta answered your question “Uh, is this going to be the new edit button now or do I just remember...”

It's been that teeny little icon for months for me. It was something they changed awhile back.

Oh man, I apparently can’t even keep up with tumblr’s messes anymore. DX Time to burn this place to the ground. I just need to save my 3 metas first.

[beloved-child-of-the-house]

musabenedetta replied to your post “Y’all don’t necessarily need to tell me when someone is talking shit...”

*hugs* I totally understand this. --sussexbound

Thanks bud. I’m okay, but I thought I’d put it out there, since it didn’t happen to send me into an anxiety spiral this morning, ha. I wanted to take advantage.

[bidonica]

alert1 replied to your post “you know those bits of gross TMI you just *need* to share?...”

serious LOL at The Shining and Carrie GIFs

musabenedetta replied to your post “you know those bits of gross TMI you just *need* to share?...”

A+ gif usage

offbeatorbit replied to your post “you know those bits of gross TMI you just *need* to share?...”

OMG!

The gifs are, of course, an exaggeration. But not that much of one.

[willietheplaidjacket]

musabenedetta replied to your post “After much arsing about I managed to sort out the background on my...”

Looks great to me!

jakathine replied to your post “After much arsing about I managed to sort out the background on my...”

looks good to me. got a real cool symmetry to it

fuckyeahfightlock replied to your post “After much arsing about I managed to sort out the background on my...”

Yes, v nice and lovely.

Cool beans. Thanks guys :)

[practicefortheheart]

musabenedetta replied to your post “theglitterypotato replied to your post:my face still hurtsWhat did you...”

If you have an actual sinus infection then you may need to get some antibiotics before you feel any real relief. Hope you start feeling better soon. That sound rough! --sussexbound

uughghghg I don’t like antibiotics! But yeah, if it doesn’t get better soon, I guess I might have to. 

[unreconstructedfangirl]

Replies...

To this post under the cut. Warning for dad issues and terminal illness.

ninezku replied to your post “Update, for those who are interested:”

Wow, that is rough and intense. No wonder you're confused. It's a bit terrifying how much shit parents can say and do to us and still there is that connection, love and frustration and devotion and guilt, always following. I wish you strength! *hugs*

Thank you. It is intense. I can’t honestly say that everything between us has always been shit, but some of it has. Definitely. It’s such a confusing feeling to love someone in a bone-deep way, and suffer when they suffer, and yet also feel... I dunno. Other things. It’s like, my heart tells me I love him and I would forgive him anything, but my mind says that realistically, there’s no forgetting some things. It’s almost numbing. Almost.

worn-smooth replied to your post “Update, for those who are interested:”

I'm so sorry. That's a lot to bear.

down-the-rabbit-hole-wooohoo replied to your post “Update, for those who are interested:”

Thinking of you – this is tough.

Thank you both. Any and all good vibes anyone can send can only help, and I’m grateful for all positive thoughts.

musabenedetta replied to your post “Update, for those who are interested:”

You are going through about the worst thing a person can go through. All I can say is, I've been there. It's tough. Be gentle with yourself. I'm here if you want to talk. (This is sussexbound, by the way.)

I think the person that’s going through the worst thing a person can go through is my dad, really. His brain is going and he can only watch helplessly as it goes, and can’t remember why it’s happening, but he knows he’s losing it. He just keeps repeating, again and again “My brain is dying. I’m brain dead.” It’s heartbreaking. Thanks for your kind thoughts.

otp221b replied to your post “Update, for those who are interested:”

I'm so sorry. I've been through it, and it's such a terrible thing, it gets so hard. You're a wonderful, strong person for helping your father with end-of-life.

I’m trying to be has helpful and kind as I can. I don’t know that I’m wonderful or strong. And, I get to go home in a week -- My Dad’s wife is the one who stays behind to manage this. I’m so worried about her, and I feel so guilty about the fact that I can’t stay. Ugh. It’s awful.

hesaiddangerous replied to your post “Update, for those who are interested:”

I'm so sorry, that is so much to bear. My dad was diagnosed with a brain tumor last week, I can sort of imagine how you feel. Take care!

Oh no! What kind? I’m so sorry! If you need to talk, please feel free to email me any time -- my email address is unreconstructedfangirl (at) gmail (dot) com. Maybe we can support each other?

dora-altamont replied to your post “Update, for those who are interested:”

You sound like you're partly grieving for the father you didn't have, the loving one. Maybe the one he could have been in a different life. That's ok. You deserved better. However strong you have to be right now, remember to be kind to yourself too.

You know what? I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. I’m grieving for what never really has been, and what never can be, now. I don’t know that I deserved better -- I think we all get what we get, and we cope with what we have to cope with, and what matters in life is how we deal with it. I’m not sure how useful it is to think in terms of what one deserves in a case like this; I think you have to accept, process, and live through what you have. I’m ok. I’m managing. But, it’s sad to lose the last hope that he will ever really be my father in a way that’s meaningful to me. I don’t know it I’m managing to be his daughter in a way that meaningful to him. I feel like he and I have never agreed about what those words meant. Despite that, I still love him.

I’m not sure if anything I’m writing makes sense. But... thank you. This was a very helpful thought.

Thanks again, to anyone who has sent kind thoughts and wished me well. It means a lot.

[chrispineofficial]

musabenedetta replied to your post: my hair is curling in a very sherlocki...

Wow! So beautiful. Gorgeous curls.

thank you!

[jennchecks]

musabenedetta replied to your post: Does anyone have a link for the 1999 version of...

If you have Netflix Instant Watch, and are in the U.S., it’s on there.

Unfortunately I don’t have Netflix ;___;