the disillusionment of the holidays is slowly starting to come back. kids went back to school. had our first fight in a few weeks. we can hold it together for thanksgiving and all the way through christmas. new years eve is always a gamble. thought it went fine this year, guess not as good as i thought. according to joseph, had a few too many that kept him from properly enjoying the evening.
new years resolutions are bullshit. i fucking hate them. it’s fine to want to better yourself, but do it for you. when you have people you’re hardly close with asking you for your new years resolution you suddenly have to admit all your flaws to them? fuck that. like if you answer you’re going to go to the gym, suddenly everybody thinks that you have an issue with your weight. fucked up, really. no new years resolution for me.
holidays make me nostalgic. i’m finding out i hate feeling nostalgic. keeps making me feel like i have hope for some sense of normalcy again. i’ve been thinking about how good our first few christmases were. how chris, managed to wait those few days after christmas to be born. as grateful i am to not have to deal with a child’s birthday on christmas, joseph not being able to let me breathe that christmas was a disaster. still, it was nice to be looked after that much. sometimes i wonder how much he even cares when i get home at 2am.
i don’t want this year to be shitty, but i said that last year and haven’t gotten anywhere.
things were better when she was around. weird to think it’ll be two years she’s been gone this year.
could really use her around again this year. found out today that i’m pregnant. again.
maybe i should’ve lead with that? who knows, i’m on my 3rd ( and final don’t worry ) glass of wine for the night. the last send off if you will before sobering up. a few drinks this early isn’t gonna kill it. though at this point if it did i’m not sure how much i would care. i wish that i didn’t feel that way, i wish i could find something in me to be excited, but i can’t. i suppose i can selfishly hope this might fix our marriage. we didn’t fight during the other pregnancies or afterwards. so i have hope in that way. but other than that? can’t say right now. i won’t go behind jo’s back and do something about it. he has a right to know about the kid. i’ll tell him tomorrow after he’s calmed down from the fight.
it just sucks, knowing i have another reason to be stuck here for 18 years. i had hope of being able to leave one day, but i don’t think i can. i have to be there for my children. i will learn to love this baby. as frustrating as this is, i can’t lose them.
and i don’t want to lose joseph yet either. i’m not ready to just throw years of marriage away. i have hope still that things will work out. perhaps foolishly i’m trusting of him. but i know that somewhere deep inside is the same man i fell in love with. i can see moments of him around still, when he smiles and laughs. i want to believe that that man will come back to me one day. i have to keep holding out hope.
SHE REALLY WOULDN’T have minded these functions quite so much if her parents didn’t try to turn them into a selling opportunity. It was always about business, never about just ENJOYING the event for what it was ( at least in her case... her mom and dad were surely off getting drunk and chatting it up whilst expecting her to make a good impression for the sake of the image ). Speaking of which, Piper really wasn’t sure at that moment what the ordeal was. An awards show of some kind, most likely. Movies, TV, both... s o m e t h i n g. Her ability to recognize the faces stuffed around her was pitiful. Media wasn’t something she overly consumed and, even with what she did enjoy, she wasn’t known for her ability to keep track of the actors who starred. Anyone who passed her by could have been the current face of the industry... and Piper would have no idea.
All she did know was that she wanted to duck away from the mingling and the crowds and the loud, rumbling of chatter and music that surrounded her every which way. The fact that her parents had wanted her to meet certain actors to try and promote using their brand for shows or whatever... It was a laughable request. Piper’s heart was too busy thudding faster than the music’s beat that lulled in the background. Her hands were sweaty, and she wanted to be sick, honestly. The need to flee out the door and call the driver to take her home was a temptation she n e a r l y gave into. One final chance arose, however, and she took it before she could run. For now.
Someone off to the side, away from the chaos, away from the noise. Respite... sort of. She was still here, at least, but away from the action. Maybe her head could find calm, maybe the panic could die down, maybe she could make a friend. Maybe. Assuming she could be heard. Piper’s incredibly soft voice was known for getting drowned out. This could very well be the perfect case for that to happen. Again. Whoever was on the “list” she was supposed to talk to would have to wait ( for probably ever ). This person would do, right?
Oh, who was she kidding. She wasn’t going to mention a peep about what her parents wanted her to. She barely had the energy to just. Exist right then.
“...Hi.”
GREAT. She said hi. That was better than her usual awkward wave and tormented looking smile when attempting to meet new people. At least these events were good for something... social practice.
@musecontract/ @varianvariant “ i don’t know if i’m worth all this. “ - well....Varian has a royal verse..... and Bolt & Eugene both have royal guard verses..... so either of them? (eyes) sorry if this sent more than once Tumblr keeps kicking back an error even though I know I'm under my 10/hr limit
Bolt could feel the thick tension settle deep under his fur. Nothing had been the same since the accident that befell the Prince’s father. It had a huge impact on Old Corona, but the white shepherd knew it was especially hard on Varian. Not only did he lose his father, but it didn’t help that the kingdom was questionable of the new rising King. Many times, the guard dog kept close to the boy during excursions outside of the palace and made sure those who had problems kept a fair distance.
He was TRAINED to watch for aggressive body movement AND keep an ear open to threatening tones. When he wore his guard vest with Old Corona’s emblem PROUDLY in view, he had the choice to make his own decisions for the good of the Prince. If someone so much as tried to be physically threatening, he will go after with snapping teeth to put a stop to the looming attack.
Only an Old Corona guard or Varian could call him off.
Thankfully, nothing had spurred that reaction quite yet since the fall of the king. However, Bolt recently had to raise his voice if some people got a bit too loud towards the new, upcoming king. A warning, of course.
But the creature could only WATCH as the new king paced up and down his chambers. He couldn’t give an answer, no. But he could surely be that listening ear to whatever the King had to get off his chest. Varian’s secrets were safe with him, like always.
Ears swiveled forward, and he took a stand in front of Varian with determination clear on his features. After a few mumbles of encouragement were given, he stood up straight with his chest puffed out. Varian will always be worth it. Will always be worth protecting.
Bolt will stand by his new king till his very last breath.
She hadn’t meant to toy with this device. It was something her version of Yellow Diamond had developed, though she saw no mention of it in any other reality. She didn’t even realize what it did until she touched it. It reacted to her gem almost immediately and she realized that the second she touched it, it transported her to another reality.
This was the third one she had been to. The first one had been a reality where Pink Diamond hadn’t left homeworld, that one was one she definitely didn’t want to spend much longer in. She stayed for five minutes before she panicked and touched the small device in her pocket almost immediately. That brought her to another reality, her gem lighting up as it transported her, and this was one that seemed normal until she found the male version of herself as a poster on one of the castle walls. In that reality, Steven had become a child actor and as his family, the diamonds were trying to be supportive by hanging up one of his posters on the wall.
She tried the device again, trying to think of her own universe. Maybe if she thought hard enough, it would connect to the device and send her back. However, she soon noticed the small differences in the homeworld palace. This wasn’t the one she knew. The previous versions of Yellow Diamond didn’t know anything about the device. It didn’t exist in those realities. Maybe it did in this one. Maybe she could find the diamonds and ask Yellow for help.
“Yellow?” she called out as she walked through the castle hall.”Blue? White?”
Send 🎰 for me to put our muses into a random list generator then post the first five as potential ships! I don’t know a lot of your muses so idk if I’ll have much to say, but ;_; also if any ARE interesting to you, you can come shimmy my way and we’ll get something goingMorbida x Fantasio
-I have a feeling this would just be rampant dork time sadfasdfaVarian x Ophaniel
-Tbh anything with Ophaniel has potential to be both sweet and/or wild as heck,, I see Varian’s summary says he has ‘good and evil in him’, I’d say the same about my lad, even if he can’t see the good in himself. I don’t know the character from canon (tho hes divergent anyway) but it could be an interesting dynamic just from that. John Freeman x Nel
-Not sure what to think?? Hrm,,, Benjamin Noah Arnold x Teatime
-As soon as I see Teatime come up in any of these, I feel Great Fear. Teatime hasn’t the capacity for real love but more, uh, physical pleasure than anything. But is dealing with his scary ass worth the danger? Probably not. Ben my boy,, please no,,, Alyx Vance x Solomon
-I can see Solomon respecting someone in a leadership role like her, just reading over her wiki it seems like she’s equally badass herself and ngl I kinda love the idea of them kicking ass together. She seems like a genuine and good-hearted person and Solomon would admire that if not already for how cool she is
musecontract said: Escape (Find my muse trying to run away from something or someone.) - @varianvariant
ANGST! || Accepting
— ✿ Catalina doing what she did every day, gather flowers to plant in the palace garden. As she headed on her way back, she noticed a familiar person she wished to never see again. The Baron. He was heading the same direction she was. It had been years since she last saw him and there was no way he was gonna see her again. Not after what he’d done to her parents.
There was no way she’d make it back to the palace in time. There was one place close that would help her hide. Old Corona. She ran as fast as she could to her new friend’s home. Luckily enough, she bumped right into him at the doorway. “Varian! Y-You have to hide me. I’ll explain everything in a bit. Just don’t let him find me.”
