okay okay okay so
this has nothing to do with saltburn I apologize but here we are
I was asked by my undergrad to come back and speak on a panel (which is CRAZY i am only a few years out and they are paying to have me be there and funding my travel and stay and the imposter syndrome is kicking into fucking high gear like I am simply a child who plays a clown on stage don't listen to me)
but anyways that's happening in two months and I feel overjoyed and humbled and honored and all of that
my mom is coming with me and we're making a weekend of it and I am so excited bc I LOVE lancaster PA I am so stoked to go back
however
my ex boyfriend is likely still in town ! and he is actually a not good person :) it ended years ago but very very poorly :)
and so
he may work at one of a few bars/restaurants bc unfortunately he is a gOOD bartender very fancy very highbrow
and I am not sure which!
and there is a place that has opened since I graduated and it's supposed to be incredible amazing wonderful and my mom and I want to go very badly
but he might work there
now
it has been YEARS since I have seen this man
and he is such a dick but he's also terrified of my mother
AND the little gremlin devil that lives on one side of my gemini brain is like... omg if you do see him, he's seeing you absolutely thrive and there's a part of me that kind of lives for that chaos (bad, yes but what is life without simple fucked up joys)
so anyhow
what shall I do?
