#my reflections

[missypanther]

All the easter eggs from Okarun's notebook

Chapter 167

Chapter 96

Osananajimi = childhood friend

Reference to Ultraman. Mr. Mantis's design is inspired by Kanegon. In the first version of the manga, his evolution went out with sunglasses to try to avoid copyright lawsuits. The number on his gloves is an addition to the anime and refers to the 3,510 yen that Kanegon must eat per day to not die.

Chapter 18

This is so cute.

[nikscaroline]

The influence of Camille & Caroline on Klaus

Over a decade later, I caved. I watched The Originals. And I have thoughts, okay? A lot of them. Over the years, I have heard and read so much about the similarities between Caroline and Camille. After finally watching, I have to say aside from the fact that they are both blonde women, have a first name that begins with 'C' and have an attraction to Klaus, I don't see a lot of resemblance between them. I really don't. I find even less similarities between Klaroline and Klamille.

Here's my take:

Caroline challenged Klaus constantly. She didn't tolerate his bs, and she pushed him to be a better version of himself. She was almost a mirror of what Klaus could aspire to (light, strength, beauty). And the characters said it themselves. "We're the same, Caroline." (Klaus, TVD 4X14). Klaus saw a version of himself in Caroline. She had qualities that he admired but also possessed (they were a little buried, I'll concede that). "I reminded you of a part of yourself that you lost and wished that you could get back." (Caroline, TO 5x06) Caroline saw the resemblance too. She was just more reluctant to admit it. In contrast, Camille was more of a moral anchor for Klaus in my opinion. She was always rationalizing his behavior, trying to understand why he did what he did. That's what she gave Klaus: understanding. Caroline understood him too. She knew where his darkest nature came from, she understood the pain and trauma he carried. But unlike Camille, she didn't tell him that, she didn't allow him to use his past as an excuse to justify his terrible deeds. Camille provided comfort and acceptance. Caroline created friction and pressure. One made him feel understood and emotionally safe. The other demanded growth from him, stretching him beyond the easy and comfortable parts of himself, in order to earn a place by her side.

Camille met Klaus where he was. She listened to him, explained him, helped him articulate his pain, reframed his behavior through trauma, always trying to provide a logical and acceptable explanation for why he did what he did to the point of almost enabling him. She was literally his therapist, his conscience, a moral buffer. Caroline, however, never met Klaus where he was at. Ever. While Camille met Klaus where he was, Caroline defined where he wanted to go. He had to bend for Caroline, adapt, transform, deny his darkest instincts. He held her to such a high standard he had no choice but to rise to that standard to be worthy of her.

The bottom line is those two women served different purposes in his life, and it's okay to acknowledge that. I will always be a Klaroline shipper, but I acknowledge that Klaus needed Camille at a certain point in his life in order to become who he did. Caroline was able to unlock his vulnerability, but Camille is the one who sustained it. Camille is the one who held space for him, who welcomed his emotional moments, who let him sit and linger in his feelings, who allowed him to process his trauma.

Having said that though, there is no denying that Klaus longed for Caroline "Dearest Caroline... Yours, Klaus", "however long it takes". She never stopped holding his heart. He remembered her and held onto her across time and distance. He continued to make her a priority even when he was involved with Camille. He saved her boyfriend's life as a favor she didn't even have to ask for even though he was romantically entangled with Camille at the time. What's that, if not enduring devotion and unshakable love?

Very simply put, this is how I see it: Caroline was the love that elevated Klaus, Camille was the love that grounded Klaus. Now, I believe Klaus Mikaelson was a man who didn't settle. I believe he wanted a love that felt transcendent, a love that forced him to work every day to deserve it. So if we remove all narrative obstacles and just focus on who Klaus Mikaelson was at his core, there is no doubt in my mind that if given the possibility to be with one of them, both being willing to have him, he would have let Camille go and chosen Caroline.

If you understand his character differently, you may have a different opinion, and that is alright.

[fujoshane]

troy should've asked ilya for shane's number i wanna see wat happen

[gentlergunler]

Ladies, I just had an epiphany, the x years army-training that some governments implement and make mandatory on their male youth is very crucial! Like I just realized how important and needed it is for a guy to go through an army training, it literally draws the line and makes a difference between what a man is and is not. See, now that young men can escape it in some countries and less and less men are doing the training, ummm... IT SHOWS. The Discipline, cleanness, the organization skills, the commitment, the sense of crisis anticipation, problem solving, group or team management.. and most importantly RESPONSIBILITY - WHO S GONNA TEACH THEM THAT? We need the army training to be mandatory again thank you. Follow up for more breakthrough ideas.

[queenarielviolet]

I'm starting to feel pretty jaded about how everyone's politics seem to be centered around schadenfreude. Sure, it may feel somewhat cathartic in the moment to celebrate evil people facing humiliation, but pretending that it actually has a meaningful positive effect on people's material conditions is just a cope frankly.

Not trying to morally grandstand or anything, I have participated in political schadenfreude before and likely will again. I just doubt it actually leads to any positive change.

[gloomshine41]

Иностранцы, зачем вы просите у меня деньги и хотите мне перевести на Pay pal. Нету у меня этих ваших доларов и евро. У меня есть только немного рублей на личные расходы проезды пепекусы, но не как не вам донатить, вы и так других разводите и вам как бы должно хватать на жизнь

Foreigners, why are you asking me for money and want to transfer me to Pay pal. I don't have these dollars and euros of yours. I have only a few rubles for personal expenses, travels, pepecus, but not how not to donate, you already breed others and you should have enough to live on.

[lilithsquidhug]

Memetic Acceleration

WiR3G0D's Treacherous Labyrinth

a Maze of Avatars and character combinations that feel all too familiar Webs of Coordinated Virtual Interactions

I Find Myself Entangled

How many Humans?

How many Bots?

How many alt. accounts?

WHO AND WHAT ARE PART OF WHICH PSYOP??

[kasienda]

Fanfiction Year In Review - 2024

I fill this out every year. It’s become a bit of a tradition for me. Allows me to reflect on everything that I’ve written and kinda think about where I want to go next. And I like it better from the ask games because I don’t have to wait for asks to come in and can compare my answers from one year to the next. ^_^

1 List of fics completed this year in the order they were finished:

Rings True - One Shot - Love Square - Senti and Identity Reveal

Not Part of the Plan - Multichapter - Love Square Mixtape - Series of five Adrino one shots

Celebrity Status - Multichapter - Ladrien

Bend the World Around It - Multichapter - Ladynoir

If You Could Go Back - Oneshot - Marinette Character Study

Is Chat Noir a Good Kisser? - Oneshot - Ladynoir

When You’re Hung Up On Your Best Friend - Oneshot - Adrino

Aftermath - Multichapter - Adrinette

Joke’s On Me - Multichapter - Adrino

2 Number of words written: 

Written: 139,613

Published: 122,191

Those numbers include nine one shots, five completed multi chapters. And another four multi chapter WIPs saw at least one update.

3 Your most popular fic:

It’s hard to say. Hasn’t felt like anything has been popular lately as the fandom has contracted. But some of the stuff I finished earlier in the year definitely had some traction at the time.  Maybe Aftermath? But half of its attention came before this year so it’s difficult to say.

4 Your personal fav:

Aftermath is definitely still my favorite. This is a story about healing after your life has fallen absolutely apart, and finding meaning in that struggle when you look back. In my opinion, this is the best thing I’ve written so far. 

Though I probably had the most fun writing the last few chapters of Celebrity Status or the first half of Joke’s On Me. 

5 Your fav scene:

I absolutely could not isolate a scene in Aftermath, but it wasn’t for lack of trying. I like too much of that fic to pick out one scene. Haha! So here’s a recent snippet from the opening scene Not Your Secret to Keep that I was really proud of:

“Ni—Carapace!” The sound of Ladybug’s yo-yo whizzed passed his ear.  Carapace didn’t slow.  Not until she landed right in front of him. “Please, I beg you,” and her eyes were actually glistening with tears. “Don’t tell him.”  “How can you stand to keep this from him?” he countered. “He deserves to have the memory of a good father.”  Nino’s expression darkened. She didn’t understand at all.  Ladybug probably had amazing parents. “You don’t get to decide how he remembers his father.”  He ducked around her. Or he tried.  She blocked his path, raising her yo-yo. His blood ran cold. “You’re going to fight me? Over keeping this secret that’s not even yours?! To protect fucking Monarch?!” Her face blanched - white as Gabriel’s last suit.  “Is that what it means to hold a miraculous now?” He ripped the bracelet off his wrist, instantly feeling the sky’s assault against his face once again, and shoved it into her chest.  “If it is, I quit!” She stood frozen, staring at his miraculous in her hands. 

And another Ladrien snippet from Celebrity Status:

He clearly meant for the kiss to be chaste - a sweet greeting to his quasi girlfriend. It was Ladybug who deepened it. If she was only going to get one more kiss, she needed it to be out of this world. She needed to feel it in her toes. She wanted him to always remember it.  Because kissing him one last time wasn’t risking anything they hadn’t already risked. Especially since no one could see them. They were in his room inside a mansion that had a three meter wall around it. As long as she didn’t keep visiting him regularly he should be safe. And so she lost herself in the dance of their tongues, the warmth of his breath, the safety of being held in his arms.  But it couldn’t last forever. When she pulled back, his eyes remained closed, his face was glowing in pure delight. He rested his forehead against hers.  “Wow, what did I do to earn such a kiss?” Her chest tightened in agony.  He must have seen something in her expression because his smile dissolved, and his hands tightened on her waist.  “What is it? What’s wrong?” “We can’t do this,” she said, tears building in her eyes.  “What? Why not?” he asked, his brows furrowed in confusion.  “If anyone ever found out, Hawkmoth would never let you be.”  “No one has to find out,” he insisted.  “I shouldn’t be visiting you regularly like this at all. It’s too dangerous.”  He shook his head. “I’m fine. It’s worth the risk. You are worth the risk.”  She pulled out of his hold. “No! I’m not! Don’t you understand?! He could use you against me, and it would work! I would hand over everything for you.” He looked thunderstruck. “What?” he whispered.  “I love you,” she confessed. “I have for a long time. Longer than you realize. I wouldn’t be strong enough. We have to stop this.”  He stepped closer to her, smiling softly in that way that turned her insides to jelly. His hands cradled either side of her face.  “Yeah…” he breathed a centimeter from her face. “We should stop.” His lips were on hers once again.  They didn’t stop. 

6 A fic or scene that challenged you:

My biggest roadblock this year was completing Chapter Seven of Aftermath. I had so much of a block here that I actually finished drafting and editing chapter eight before I had finished even a rough draft of seven, and then I had a chapter ready to go and I had to just sit on it! I didn’t even have the OPTION of posting it. This has never ever happened in any of my works before because I hate editing, so why would I edit a chapter I can’t even post?!  Chapter Seven was hard because it involved a bunch of cultural research for Alya and Nino’s wedding. I wasn’t super pure in my adaptation of my research, but I wanted to represent at least a little bit of their actual cultures here. And whenever I’m writing for a cultural piece the writing gets a bit more technical (is that the right word?) and because I’m not writing from my own experience (but rather from research) it can feel a bit dry at first. It takes a ton of effort to make it come alive, which I very much want it to because that’s the whole point of representing other cultures!! This chapter was also really difficult to write because I had to balance Marinette’s headspace with the plot arc. There were so many instances where her mental state and the plot just clashed and I had to rewrite it over and over to stay true to both. And it was a huge challenge and I’m really happy with how it eventually turned out. And then the rest of the fic came together so easily!! (The next chapter was already done! Haha!)

7 A line of writing you’re proud of: 

Chat Noir was still there, but he stood opposite her. His lips - stained black with hate - curled into a snarl, and he lunged forward. She barely yanked her head back. His strike missed her by a fingernail’s width.  She wanted to cry. She hated seeing him like this. And she couldn’t bring herself to fight him.  She had loved him even then, hadn’t she?  She ducked under his arm, flipped him to the ground, and pressed her lips to his.  It had worked once. It might work again.  He relaxed underneath her, completely melted in her hold. And suddenly, he was kissing her back.  But that hadn’t happened.   The warmth of his lips sliding against hers felt familiar. Like it was a moment they had shared a hundred times before. When she pulled away, his lips were pink and stretched into a smile that reached his eyes.  Green eyes that were human instead of feline, that were not covered by a mask, that were shining with so much love.   His name bubbled on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn’t get it out past the tears that were constricting her throat. How had she never realized? For the first time in as long as she could remember, everything made sense, the stars had aligned and everything was right in the universe.  She kissed him again. She had never imagined she could even be this happy.  It almost didn’t feel real.  She startled awake, her eyes wet and that feeling of euphoria still alive in her heart and chest.

It’s those last two lines. The it didn’t feel real, leading into the waking up. This is from the last chapter of Aftermath.

8 A comment that touched you: 

I can never get this down to just one. But the comments that tend to mean the most to me are when something I wrote impacted someone in their daily life or when something I wrote made someone feel seen. So here’s a few examples of that.

9 Something that inspired your writing this year:

It feels sad to say this, but probably depression and loneliness more than anything else. 

10 Your proudest accomplishment (that one scene; finally finishing that one fic; posting your first fic; etc):

If it isn’t already obvious, I finished Aftermath!!! Been working on this one for four years!! 

And overall, this was a really good year for finishing things. I didn’t finish everything, but I brought the number of active WIPs down to HALF! I think part of that is that I haven’t had a lot of new ideas this year. I guess the silver lining to that is that it freed up a lot of writing time to finish things. 

11 Do you have any writing goals for the next year?

I very much need to finish my Adrino Secret Santa Fic! It’s only half done, but my brain is not cooperating these past few days. I haven’t felt able to focus in any kind of creative way. 

I really want to write an Alyanette multichapter fic this year!! I feel like I’ve written three confession scenes for them across multiple poly fics and they are always so sweet!! But I have a hard time with the build up before that, so I clearly need to practice some sapphic writing to expand my repertoire.

Feels like a longshot to say I want to finish Right Behind You, but I’m gonna say it anyway because last year I would not have believed I could finish Aftermath and that happened!

And I’m hoping to come up with some new ideas and start some new projects. 

12 Anyone you would like to thank?

@coffeebanana - As this fandom has gotten a lot smaller, I’m so grateful that you’re still around excitedly sharing snippets and squealing about mine at the drop of a hat. For every single time you beta-ed anything especially at the last minute. I appreciate you! 

@mila-beedoodling for pictures of flowers and berries, for always responding with kindness, making artwork, and lately, answering my questions about Spanish. 

@wehadabondingmoment - I really enjoy just chatting with you about your stories. We had some pretty good conversations. 

To both the Little Bug and the Adrino Servers for continuing to be excited about these blorbos and for keeping me from being totally isolated in this fandom that has gotten a lot smaller. 

The WIP Big Bang Event for giving me the motivation that comes with the promise of artwork and a deadline.

Happy New Year Everyone!!