(ty to @rarestsparkle and @coldstream for this post)

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(ty to @rarestsparkle and @coldstream for this post)
I was calling a friend and she went "What's that sounds, are you using a typewriter rn or smth" and I said yes. I am using a typewriter.
then she had the GALL to be SURPRISED when later I turned on the camera and there was in fact an actual typewriter.
you know, I really want to write a fic about Snipe being Midoriya’s mentor.
like, so many people like quirkless deku, and I’ve seen people (jokingly) claim that Snipe doesn’t even have a quirk--he’s just a good enough shot for no one to actually notice.
and, like, the possibilities for an interaction like that is amazing.
The ‘how’ of Midoriya meeting Snipe doesn’t really matter, but the two do meet, and Midoriya finds some way to catch the hero one on one. He asks Snipe The Question and it’s just as desperate and hopeful and heartbreaking as it was when he asked All Might (though with perhaps a little less hero worship).
And Snipe, who was not handed a quirk he could control from the moment it settled in his veins, who grew up with only a natural talent for shooting that might’ve been a quirk except for the fact that his family tree was filled with minor mutations and enhanced senses, he looks at Midoriya and feels he’s looking into a mirror.
(Snipe remembers being nine years old, no trace of a quirk to be found, as the whispers began to start. Dark, hungry things, hissed behind his back by kids he’d thought were his friends. Broken. Weak. Useless.
Snipe remembers coming home crying, remember his Momma go red in the face from anger when he told her, remembers her pushing a rifle in his hands and telling him a quirk ain’t no different than talent, and Heavens knows you got that in spades sweetpea.
Snipe remembers going to school the next day, the lie his Momma told him to tell on his lips. Remembers spending every day after school at the shooting range until he couldn’t miss a shot even if he tried.)
Now, snipe doesn’t exactly know the kid. Doesn’t know what he’s made of, or how he acts or what his goals are besides being a hero. There’s lots of reasons to be a hero, and some of them a more altruistic than others.
So Snipe takes it slow, and gives it a few days. He tells the kid yes, you can be a hero, and then he waits, and watches, and holds off on deciding what to do with the little tike.
It doesn’t take long for Snipe to realize the kid has heart, has guts, has enough brains that it makes his head spin.
It takes only a bit longer to realize that, once given encouragement, the kid sprints with it (specifically, towards danger). It’s accompanied by the realization that the kid’s going to get himself killed if no one steps in to help.
So Snipe decides to step in.
***
The first thing Snipe tells him, once he commits to taking the bean sprout under his wing, is the truth about True Target. Specifically, the fact that it’s fake.
He tells him because this whole thing is only going to work if the kid actually knows anyway and understands why Snipe knows lying about this is even possible in the first place. It’s a gamble for Snipe, telling a kid he’s only just met, but it’s a gamble in his favor. Even if he had wildly misjudged the kid, Snipe thinks bitterly, who’s going to believe a quirkless teenager over a Hero teaching at UA?
After, Midoriya stares up at him, eyes wide in disbelief and, perhaps, the barest hint of caution. Kid’s unwilling to get his hopes up, which, he supposes, makes sense. So Snipe takes a deep breath and says:
“Now, I ain’t too sure, exactly, what makes up a quirk. Didn’t exactly spend much time lookin’ into it if I’m honest. But as far as I can tell, sometimes a quirk is just a talent, a talent that someone skipped most of the steps to get good at. An old school contortionist ain’t no different from some folk with a flexibility quirk and a good con artist could fool you just as well as someone with a mind quirk.”
Snipe looks down at him, serious and solemn. “I spent hours, everyday after school since I was nine years old, learning how to shoot every type of gun I could get my hands on. Teaching myself the weight and the scopes and how to be so good no one would ever think twice when I said that’s what my quirk was. And why would they?”
(Snipe remembers being nine years old, no trace of a quirk to be found, as the whispers began to start. Dark, hungry things, hissing behind his back about how weak he was, about how much less he was. Broken. Garbage. Useless.
Snipe remembers coming home crying, remembers watching his Momma go red in the face from anger when he told her what they said, remembers her pushing a rifle in his hands and telling him a quirk ain’t no different than talent, and Heavens knows you got that in spades, sweetpea.
Snipe remembers going to school the next day, the lie his Momma told him to tell on his lips. Remembers spending day after day on the shooting range until he got so good he couldn’t miss a shot if he tried.)
“From the outside, is there actually any difference between talent and a quirk?” Snipe asks Midoriya, whose looking up at him, eyes watery and bright. “Can you tell if someone is naturally good at something, or if they’ve spent years of their lives working to become good? Do you think anyone else will?”
***
A few days later, after Snipe and the kid fall into a routine for training, the kid pauses for a moment to ask, “When are you going to teach me how to shoot?”
“I’m not,” Snipe says, before he can really think about it. Then he catches the expression on the kid’s face an elaborates. “Well, I might, but only because it’s a good skill to have. But I’m not going to teach you in the way you’re asking.”
Midoriya blinks. “Huh?”
Snipe sighs and motions for the kid to keep doing his push ups. “Shooting works for me because I had a talent for it young, and I built up that talent far enough that no one could tell the difference. That took years. Even if you did have a knack for it, buckaroo, eleven months ain’t enough time to convince anyone that you aren’t just hand with a rifle. For this kind of thing, you can’t just be good, you need to be exceptional.”
Izuku’s face scrunches up. “Then what am I supposed to do? I don’t have any talents I could pass off as a quirk.”
For a moment, Snipe is silent, half expecting the kid to go ‘sike!’
He doesn’t, of course, and Snipe realizes the kid doesn’t even know how smart he is. How many people in his life overlooked him and his mind just because he lacked a quirk?
(More than Snipe wants to know, probably.)
Well, no time like the present to start fixing that.
“Kid, I’ve seen you deconstruct entire fights in real time. I’ve watched you break down quirks and fighting styles and support equipment in ten minutes flat with a worrying amount of accuracy. Your brain jumps tracks faster than a rabbit on a hot day and keeping up with some of the things you say is like trying to follow a lecture on quantum mechanics.”
“Well, actually, quantum mechanics isn’t actually that-”
Snipe raises a hand and the boy silences instantly. “Kid, trust me. You’ve already got your knack, and judging by your notebooks, you’ve been building it up for years.” Snipe pokes him in the forehead. “You’re greatest asset and the ‘quirk’ people are mostly likely to believe in, is your mind. So, I’m gonna take you to meet the smartest man I know. Or, well, I suppose he ain’t technically a man.”
The next day, Midoriya Izuku meets Nedzu, the Beast Principal of UA.
Snipe regrets introducing them within the week.
Typewriter!
put a fresh ribbon on my typewriter ✨ prev ribbon was still ok but it was time to retire (from 1982)
Found Family
holy shit did this one get way out of hand. Don’t expect them all to be this long because hot damn this is a monster compared to literally everything else but it just wouldn’t stop
(should I have expected this? probably. we all know how I am about found family.)
anyway enjoy 4.5k words ig
based on this post | @maribatmarch-2k21 | find more here
***
When Marinette had been chosen to intern with Monsieur Wayne’s PA, she hadn’t been expecting anything special. Sure, the Waynes were an odd breed and generally considered strange, but Marinette hadn’t actually expected to have much contact with them—if any at all.
She was here to earn credit for her business degree.
Instead, she has… well. She thinks she’s been somehow inducted into the Wayne family, mostly on accident and kind of as a joke.
That is, until it very much wasn’t.
***
Her first mistake, she supposes, was being too good at her job.
Marinette is an old hand at keeping track of multiple moving parts and riding herd on stubborn people who’d otherwise be too distracted or goofing off. (She was the Court’s leader for more than just being the latest in a long line of Ladybugs, after all.)
After the first two days shadowing Selina—“please, darling. Ms Kyle is so formal”—and learning the broad strokes of the job, Marinette felt confident enough to dig her nails in and get to work. Selina spent most of her time dedicated to international tasks and arranging Monsieur Waynes’ private affairs—all of which was highly classified and not discussed with Marinette—so she turned her attention to inter-company affairs.
Her first order of business was personally meeting with as many people in managerial positions as she could get. Not a requirement for the job per se, but these were people she’d have to interact with often and Maman had always stressed the importance of building connections in the workplace.
“People,” she would say, “are far more willing to do what you want them to when you’ve endeared yourself to them.”
So Marinette takes that advice and spends her breaks and lunches charming employees and giving baked goods to security guards and learning the names of the cleaning crew. She doesn’t speak to the department heads, because Selina handles their correspondences, but everyone else is free game as far as she’s concerned.
She becomes a well-recognized face astoundingly quickly.
***
Marinette probably should’ve seen the rumors coming.
It’s common practice in not only the Wayne family, but in most business conglomerates, for the children to quickly rise through the ranks of their company—if not just handed a high position right off the bat.
It took barely a month before the eldest was all but running Human Resources, and the second was placed as Head of Security practically out of nowhere. Monsieur Drake is the youngest (and most terrifyingly calculated) CEO to ever hold Wayne Enterprises, even if he does share the title with his father.
The other three are still too young or have yet to express an interest in the company, but people say it’s only a matter of time.
The track record speaks for itself, even if Marinette wishes it didn’t.
As a girl who’d come mostly out of nowhere and found herself with far more divisive sway in the company than she had any right to, it’s no wonder everyone thinks she’s some sort of secret Wayne finally coming out of hiding.
Marinette had nearly choked on her coffee when Selina dropped the bomb of that particular tidbit of company gossip.
“Most think you’ve been unofficially adopted,” Selina tells her, looking far too amused for Marinette’s liking. “Seeing as you’re too old for official avenues now.”
Marinette looks up warily from the schedule she’s rearranging. Selina had all but shoved the thing at her a month ago when she started suggesting more efficient ways of managing the CEOs’ valuable time.
“Only most? Does that mean the rest have common sense?”
Selina’s grin widens even further, if that’s possible, and Marinette regrets her question even before the older woman starts speaking.
“Oh, of course not!” she laughs delightedly. “The rest are hoping to hear news of wedding bells. It’s high time someone swept a Wayne off the market, don’t you think?”
***
“So you’re the new little sister I keep hearing about.”
Marinette stares up through narrowed eyes at the brightly smiling Dick Grayson. In her stomach, there are already the beginnings of resignation starting to form.
“It’s nice to finally meet you!”
This man is going to bring her nothing but trouble. She can tell.
Protect
royalty au? royalty au.
@maribatmarch-2k21 | find more here
She was eight years old when she gained her first Wayne as a personal guard.
His name was Richard and Marinette remembers the bright smiles he always gave her when on duty. All the other guards tasked to her were so formal and grim, but Richard was always friendly and treated her with a simple sort of kindness, something she was rarely privy to from those outside her family.
The whole castle knew Richard was Marinette’s favorite, for she rarely made any effort to hide her affection.
When she was nearing thirteen, the aging D'Argencourt was transferred to the teaching of knights and Sir Jason Wayne was appointed to replace him. He was far more familiar with her than was proper, but Marinette delighted in his gentle teasing and ridiculous nicknames. Whenever he could, he taught her commoner’s tricks and told her stories about the lower town and living on the streets.
(It had been the first time she’d been faced with the privilege of her birth so blatantly. Jason had only told her stories of humor and levity, but she was clever for her age and could hear all the things he wasn’t saying.
She was melancholic for a whole week following the revelation, guilty about her ignorance and unearned luck of birth. When she emerges from the end, she swears to protect her kingdom from such hardship as best she can. She may not always succeed, but she will try, and sometimes, that is enough.)
By the time Tim is added the month after her sixteenth birthday, Marinette is starting to think this is all something of a tradition. (Or at least, with the way the siblings talk, a competition of sorts.)
She’s practically expecting the day Cassandra is sworn in, pledging her sword to the protection of the throne. And when Duke follows behind not even a month later, well. There are more than a few whispers of favoritism floating about the castle halls.
(There is, after all, not a single knight on her detail that isn't a Wayne at this point.)
The proper number for a royal escort is five during times of peace, so Marinette does not expect any new additions until Richard decides he wants to retire or finally take her father up on the offer of joining the Justice League, those privileged knights in charge of protecting the King and Queen themselves.
Of course, they all overlooked one important detail.
Damian.
***
They are attending Court. Her parents are sat in their thrones, crowns atop their heads and looking regal and kind as they see to the many needs of their people. Farmers and merchants and families bring to them their problems, and they solve them as best they can.
Her mother sits to the right of her father, and Marinette stands at his left and just a step behind.
They are a united front to the people of their kingdom and this is not an accident.
So, of course, when Damian strides up to the dais, he promptly throws it out the window.
He bows first to the King and Queen, deep and textbook perfect, but when he turns to her, instead of the slightly shallower bow that is afforded to her, he drops to his knees.
The Court gasps and Marinette’s hands twitch where they are clasped in front of her.
The hall has fallen deadly silent and all eyes have turned on her and the knight at her feet.
He is only a few summers older than her and a well-known prodigy on the dueling grounds, easily rivaling the skill of knights twice his size and age.
Marinette has known him nearly as long as she has known Richard, and up until this very moment, she had believed him to be indifferent to her in the highest regard.
Oh, how wrong she had been.
“I, Damian Wayne, pledge my sword and skill to the service of her Royal Highness, Princess Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Should she accept this humble knight, I shall be the obedient weapon that which she wields. This vow I take, for as long as I breathe.”
For a long moment, Marinette does nothing.
He has offered the pledge to her and her only, which means it should be her choice alone to accept or deny it. But that is not how being Princess works and Marinette has responsibilities to more than just herself.
Damian has chosen to make this public, has chosen to cause a spectacle, and Marinette cannot afford to play along if it will place the people she has sworn to protect in danger.
Her mother eyes him with the critical shrewdness that had made her such an excellent spymaster before she married and was crowned Queen. After a long, drawn-out moment, Marinette watches the look melt off her face and the barely-there nod of approval makes the air rush from her lungs.
Should her mother have found that this action would cause more problems than they could handle, Marinette would have turned him away. She must, even if it would break her heart.
(Royalty must be united. There can be no lines drawn in the sand between them and Marinette cannot go against them without undermining the power she herself will one day hold as Queen.
She has responsibility to more than just herself.)
But Damian is lucky. Lucky he is young, lucky that the castle is already rife with rumors of where, exactly, the Waynes’ loyalties lie, lucky that he is a prodigy too valuable to scorn.
And perhaps, most of all, he is lucky that her parents are kinder people than rulers should be.
(How else could one explain his continued existence when he has so blatantly committed treason by pledging to serve an individual rather than the crown?
Marinette would laugh at his bravery if she did not think him an utter fool.)
Her mother has given her blessing, but Marinette does not yet reach for the sword Damian holds out for her to take. She has been privy to enough of the trials of Court and whispers of the castle to know this must be nipped in the bud.
Damian has made this a public affair, and so now Marinette will twist that to her advantage.
“To serve me is to serve Miraculi,” she says, voice clear and firm so that none may misunderstand her. “On behalf of the citizens I protect, and whom you shall as well, I shall accept if only you swear to them as well.”
There is not even a moment of hesitation. “I swear, Your Highness.”
She would smile had it been in any form appropriate.
“Then let your vow be accepted.” Finally, she takes the sword from him and taps the blade against either shoulder. “Rise, Sir Wayne. May you live long and fight well.”
Once on his feet, he bows to her once more and catches her hand as she returns his sword to him. Then, in front of her parents and all the Court, he presses a kiss against her knuckles and smiles.
Distantly, Marinette comes to the realization that she may have misjudged precisely how much of a handful her new knight shall prove to be.
Accidental Crime Boss Marinette
Okay so,, I have this AU in my head, right? (not surprised) and I’m lacking any real direction for it (still not surprised) but it basically goes like this:
Marinette moves to Gotham.
She’s drawn there for whatever reason and the kwami are saying something about balance and being a Guardian and her sacred duty and something but Marinette isn’t really listening. She’s too busy trying to find a shop front where she can open a bakery without having to worry about getting mugged every time she steps outside.
Chloé comes with her, obviously, because they’re friends and Chloé has a business degree she puts to good use actually running Mari’s bakery and online boutique while Mari gets to bake and fuck around basically. Adrien, Luka and Kagami are not there, but that’s mostly because they travel too much to settle down and keeping an empty apartment in Gotham is just asking for trouble.
Kagami is a world-renowned fencer and Luka travels the world for his music company. Not touring, but soaking up cultures and ways of life so he can make soundtracks to movies and tv shows. Providing the background and life to a film is more his style than touring the world ala his father, Jagged Stone.
Adrien is having the time of his life being Kagami’s trophy husband. He has no pressing responsibilities he doesn’t take on for himself and he gets to fuck with the world’s elite with little to no consequences. He spends most of his days donating far too much money to charities and orphanages and then causing minor scandals that land him on the cover of magazines.
He has much the same kind of ‘dumbass with a heart of gold’ persona to the media as Bruce Wayne does, only without the playboy bits.
(There is a wall in the back of the bakery, where Chloé and Mari carefully cut out and frame every headline and ridiculous picture Adrien has. He is very much delighted when he learns about his ‘wall of fame’.)
Anyway, Marinette finds herself with a bakery not overly far from crime alley, much to Chloé’s chagrin.
(“What do you mean it ‘just felt right’?! I swear to kwami, DC, you’re going to get us robbed and sold into slavery.”)
They do not get sold into salvery.
In fact, despite their less than stellar choice of locale, they do pretty well for themselves. The only problems they have (according to Chloé) is the army of children Marinette accidentally attracted.
When asked, Marinette tells everyone that it was an accident. Meanwhile, Chloé, standing behind her, will shake her head and insist there was literally never any other option for them the moment that first kid came in looking to nab some cash and a few pastries.
Mari lives by the phrases, ‘kindness breeds more kindness’ and ‘do unto others’ and all that other nice person shit. Chloé just lets Mari pseudo-adopt her strays and makes sure that they don’t steal anything too important in the time it takes her to gain their loyalty.
The kwami stay staunchly out of any arguments involving the kids (and eventually the homeless all along their street and every working girl in a five-block radius). They do so with a special brand of amusement that never means good things for either of them. (After all, the last time the kwami looked that amused, they moved to Gotham.)
The first kid is named Serrure, as Marinette comes to learn over the next month after he returns again and again, getting closer and closer like a feral cat. Other kids come during that time, all of them too small and too thin and too guarded for Mari's tastes. She wants to wrap them all up and tuck them into bed but she can’t. She has to be patient, has to be gentle. These kids are just as likely to bite her hand as they are to accept help.
Serrure becomes an almost permanent fixture at the bakery after that first month. Mari’s not quite sure what she did to get through to him, but she did, she supposes. He can’t be much older than eleven and looks nine, but after getting settled, she and Chloé discover this little slip of a boy is just as mischievous as Trixx and has all the dramatics of their favorite black cat.
The kwami, when talking about him, only refer to Serrure as Loki, even after Marinette scolds them for it. She eventually gives up trying to correct them, it’s not like Serrure talks to them anyway(yet)((that she knows of)).