#mydearscout

[motherof-hyenas]

☺️☺️☺️

It's always nice when your secret crush has a secret crush on you.

[rottenbutrecovering]

So there are a ton of resources for dating someone with BPD but what about for someone with BPD who wants to date?

I’m looking for some now but unfortunately there are a lot less. There are so many articles on how to “deal” with us, but so little to help us. 

Quite frankly I am disgusted that when I googled “Tips on how to date FOR someone with BPD” that one of the suggested articles was titled “Don’t date a girl with BPD”. We need support and love, and to see that people actively give people advice to avoid us hurts me so so much. So many of these articles are “warning signs your GF has BPD” or “how to recover from dating someone with BPD” and I hate it. THIS is why I want to become a professional psychologist, why I want to be a therapist. I want to fight this stigma, I want to help those with BPD live their lives, rather than help people work around us. Where’s our support?

Either way, here are some I could find, and there isn’t much. In fact, I’ve made my own post just for this: 

X / X

[motherof-hyenas]

Sometimes I hate tumblr.

I had to unfollow someone this morning because they reblogged a video of a toddler being scared and screaming when a convertible top came down as they were in the car. This toddler looked terrified. The caption was "me as a parent lol". That's cute: so you're saying if you had a kid, you'd traumatize and torture it? Yeah that's true love. (Not.) Kids are abused and mistreated enough. Do we really need to make jokes at their expense and torture them? (It's the same as scaring animals in my opinion.) They both put their trust in us, they do nothing but love and look up to us, and we crush it. It's abuse and it's not funny. Protect kids, at any age, at any cost.

[motherof-hyenas]

Family.

I wish I could have a conversation with a member of my family without them walking away, not listening, dismissing what I have to say, or not trusting my judgment. I feel like the joke of the family. I'm surprised they let me raise my own daughter - which they barely do, by the way. My brother in law is always butting in, trying to tell my daughter what to do. Please. Don't even try. She's my daughter - don't you have your own daughter to raise? And my mom always laments about no one listening to her... Well it's probably because she never listens to anyone. I can't say what's on my mind without her getting pissed off and walking away while I'm mid sentence. It's so disrespectful. Drives me crazy. I've already stopped buying her things (she doesn't appreciate it) and helping her out (she just gets frustrated and angry with me when I'm trying to do something as simple as adjust settings on her iPhone for her). Now I'm just not going to talk around her. What's the point? Anyway. End rant.

[motherof-hyenas]

Something I've learned from my mom-

If you throw a fit like a child, you'll get what you want.

You know what I don't do? Throw fits like a child to get what I want.

[motherof-hyenas]

People.

People are so disappointing. You're going to get mad at me for changing my mind about driving you to pick up your new car? Really? Really?! I hadn't slept in 24 hours. I'm trying to take care of myself more, and if you actually cared about me - you'd understand. But you probably don't. As usual. Story of my life.

[motherof-hyenas]

...

I wish I knew what it was like to feel completely secure with another person. Like where you know they want to, without a doubt, be with you. You don't have to worry or wonder. But maybe that's just my brain overworking. Idk. I just feel like everyone is luckier than I. I'm no one's first choice. And that sucks.

[motherof-hyenas]

Blah

Pretty sure I set myself up for failure and disappointment. My mind won't stop working. I can't get myself out of this funk. I just feel bummed. Why can't I just be happy? Why can't I just find someone? Why does it come so easily for everyone else? Why does it even matter to me? I was just happy being single, but now - like a switch being flipped - I'm sad and resenting everyone in a relationship. So tired of this. So tired, period. I haven't slept well. I don't feel like eating. I'm thirsty and weak and tired all the time. Blah.