#n'yami

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The glam restrictions getting removed is one of the best things that's ever happened to me in this game

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What do they think about redemption and forgiveness? Would they forgive an enemy? Would they forgive themselves?

N'yami doesn't frequently hold grudges, in part because few have ever affected her enough to care. When she does get angry, it tends to be a flash fire that burns out quickly. For most people, while she may distrust them after whatever might have provoked her ire, she doesn't resent them, and that trust can be earned. The same holds true of herself. As of the end of Stormblood there's only been two exceptions: Thordan, for causing Haurchefants death, and Zenos, for acknowledging their similarities and then killing himself, removing the one person who could have understood.

Haru meanwhile would say that he's very forgiving, but in practice struggles to let go of anger and resentment, both towards others and himself. For others, part of the issue is that he burns easily yet keeps putting his hand back in the fire, desperate for that connection. For himself, he holds every life lost on his watch and other harms inflicted to those he cares about as a failing.

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Why did they become an adventurer? Glory? Money? …?

N'yami has always felt a sense of apathy and boredom, one that only alleviated when she first experienced combat. Her taste for danger, along with familial tensions, led to her striking out on her own as a mercenary at 17, a year before Dalamuud fell. She never looked back

Haru might never have become an adventurer, content to stay home and remain a healer along with his mother, but the two had a massive falling out that lead to him running away and looking for another way to apply his talents and help people

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A goodbye to Stormblood, and a hello to Shadowbringers!

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Cruising through post Stormblood and yeah I can't see a universe where n'yami doesn't bitch slap asahi or worse on that beach. She cares about her friends, yes, but she trusted him zero percent and has been on edge this entire time. She's not going to stop to think about international politics, she's in fight mode

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Question, what's a totally normal and not deranged body part to take from the corpse of the one person who ever understood you but betrayed you by killing himself?

Asking for a friend

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I think this captures the divide between me and N'yami perfectly

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See, Zenos is N'yami's mirror. Through ARR and Heavensward, her drive was finding the next fight, trying to stay busy to stave off the apathy and boredom. While there are losses along the way, she's never lost her fights, and while thrilling, it's begun teetering on boring

Then comes Rhalgrs Reach, and she loses. She has a difficult fight where the danger is finally real again, there is challenge and adrenaline and stakes. And then she loses. Badly.

I intend to write a fic of the scene, but she gets up twice before Zenos skewers her. When she awakens in the medical wing, she has to contend with injuries that will make fighting hard, alongside the defeat. And it changes her.

She saw herself in Zenos, someone seeking the thrill of the fight to ward of the static of the rest of the world, someone who is strong enough that he will never be satisfied. And that scares her. So she forces herself to branch out, to find other things to bring enjoyment into her life, and she begins leaning on and appreciating her companions. She grows.

And then Zenos comes to Doma, and she regresses. She goes with Yugiri to fight, yes to support her, but more to seek that fight again. And she enjoys it. She never not will. But then she loses again, left in a state where she can't defend herself or Yugiri, and she. Surrenders. The fact that the WoL bows their head as if ready for death in that cutscene gets me. N'yami knows the consequences of losing a fight like this.

But she's impressed him. He tells her to live, if only for her pleasure, and it pisses her off as much as it excites her. She gets her confirmation that he feels that same apathy, she has a goal post, a guaranteed future fight. But it's not on her terms.

Still, she will be the one to defeat him. She won't allow anything else.