I've been struggling to practice lately. Like really practice; just free flowing and releasing everything. I'd do a few minutes here and there but it was forced and without emotion. It's amazing how much you need to practice when you really don't want to. I couldn't face it and I didn't even feel like I could today so I put my songs on shuffle and just listened then it all just flowed. Messily and painfully but it helped a bit. My heart feels lighter but my physical pain is still there. I've been getting very frustrated with myself lately. I'll feel okay for a day or may two and then I have three or four horrific ones. It's so devastating because when I have a good moment I allow myself to hope that I've finally cracked it; that I've cured myself. But that's not true. The harsh reality is that I'm not going to get better just like that. I'm not sure if I will eventually recover either. The things that I though were helping have stopped. My internal bleeding is worse which leads to a whole lot of issues. I also have a decision to make and I don't know if I can. But I also don't think I could live like this forever because the "good" days aren't good enough to be worth all that. I don't know what to do but I think, for now, I'll collect my data and turn to yoga a bit more. 🙏🏻 #nasiesstory#nasieflows













