7. routine kisses where the other person presents their cheek/forehead for the hello/goodbye kiss without even looking up from what they’re doing
After months of occupying the same space, it’s become second nature to work around each other. They don’t have to look up to know what the other is doing, or where they’re going, or even what they’re going to say.
It’s as easy as breathing, to step around each other, for Natalie to lift the legs dangling off her mattress when he walks past, for Lucifer to shift in his favorite spot so she doesn’t send herself flying.
For Natalie, it’s even easier to settle into this new pattern, kissing his cheek or the top of his head before she leaves for school. It’s always been fun to watch him turn red, but she bites her tongue for once and smiles to herself as she leaves.
For Lucifer, it’s difficult. He’s not used to the constant affection and he’s especially put off by how quickly he begins to expect it from her, subtly angling his head for her without even tearing his eyes away from his book. It’s only with the lingering touch of her lips on his skin that he ever realizes what he’s done and stews over it for much too long after she’s gone.
He’s aware of it now. The next morning she tries it, and he swivels around, her mouth brushing his as he grabs her chin in one of his hands, squishing her cheeks. He doesn’t pull back any as he stares at her with narrowed eyes, and she smiles at him as much as she’s able.
“I know what you’re doing,” he says, and squeezes her cheeks a little more roughly than necessary before releasing her. “You can’t domesticate the devil, kid.”
He turns his eyes back to his book, but Natalie doesn’t move away from him. Instead, she straightens.
“Bye, Lucifer,” she says cheerfully, and it’s more than just a reflex, he realizes bitterly a split second too late as he angles his head for her and she plants a wet kiss on his cheek, laughing on her way out the door. “Looks like I already have!”
15. a gentle “i love you” whispered after a soft kiss, followed immediately by a stronger kiss
Her own feelings aren’t a surprise to her, but his are. She never expected him to return them, but the look on his face, the bleeding violet of his horns as he summarizes more or less what had happened in the absence of her memories tells her all she needs to know.
She’s spent months hiding from them, but the haunted look in his eyes when he has to tell her she died sends her surging to her feet.
If she’s already died once, that’s one life already wasted wanting, wondering, waiting. She’s not going to wait anymore.
She crosses the small space to where he’s sitting, elbows on his knees, head in his hands, and and drops to her knees before him, prying his hands from his face and looking up at him. The surprise on his face takes away some of the lines that she didn’t remember being there before, and she’s grateful for it.
She replaces his hands with her own and raises up, her lips ghosting over his in the barest of touches. He freezes, and she knows he can feel her smile.
“I love you,” she whispers, and her fingers slip down his face to curl into the collar of his shirt. “I’m sorry.”
Whatever had taken hold of him shatters, and he groans low in his throat. It’s a sound that won’t leave her soon, anguished and relieved all at once, knowing she’s done this to him, but it’s not something she can linger on in the moment, either. His reaches down, grappling at her waist and pulling her up until he can kiss her without restraint.
She gasps against his frenzied lips, and tightens her fingers around his collar. His hands are everywhere, pulling her closer by her hips, fisting in her shirt, tangling in her hair, holding her face. It’s as if he’s afraid to let her go, afraid she’ll disappear at any moment.
She doesn’t fault him for it. They wasted too much time and he had to face the consequences of it alone, but not anymore.
“I love you,” she says again, gasping between teeth and tongue and lips. She lays her hand over his heart and it’s a promise.
No more going at it alone. They’re in this together. A little death won’t stop her.
16. when one person’s face is scrunched up, and the other one kisses their lips/nose/forehead
Natalie sneezes, bringing her arm up and whipping her head around to catch it in the crook of her elbow so fast she feels a little dizzy afterwards.
“Don’t give yourself whiplash,” Lucifer says from across the room, looking mildly disgusted and sounding the part as well.
“Would you rather I sneeze on you?” she asks, grabbing at the box of tissues to her left and burying her nose in one. The expression on his face twists more, and Natalie thinks it’s kind of cute, how much of a germaphobe he is.
She stands up, dragging her blanket up off her bed with her, and Lucifer subtly recoils.
“You don’t have to look so grossed out, dude. You can’t even get sick,” she protests through a stuffy nose, using her soiled tissue to swipe beneath her nose.
“That doesn’t make you any less disgusting.”
“Oh, boo.” She heads towards the door, dropping her tissue in the waste on her way, and stops next to him. “I’m going to get some orange juice. Do you want anything?”
“…No,” he says, eyeing her warily, and Natalie can tell he’s stopped breathing. She’d laugh at his dramatics if it didn’t ache.
“Fine.” She turns back towards the door, but before she takes a step, she spins back around a kisses his cheek where his face is still all scrunched up.
He curses, jumping up and scrubbing at his cheek, shouting insults at her as she hurries out of the room and into the kitchen. She really can’t help laughing, even if her insides hate her for it.
20. top of head kisses
It’s not an uncommon thing for Natalie to settle in behind him as they watch movies or read. She’s content to sit pressed against his back and rest her chin on his head, even if his horns can sometimes obstruct her view during the important scenes.
But it’s fine, because she loves to sit like this, and she knows he likes it too because he relaxes when she’s there, even though he’ll occasionally complain that it’s stupid and can’t be comfortable for her.
Mainly she likes it because it gives her access. She can kiss his shoulders, or his neck, and she knows it tickles because he’ll squirm in a way that’s obviously meant for her to take the hint to knock it off. She doesn’t and he gives up after awhile, and she smiles knowingly behind his back because she knows if he really hated it, he wouldn’t give in so easily.
Sometimes she likes to comb her fingers through his hair. It’s soft and fluffy and sometimes she’ll jokingly ask him what shampoo he uses. He rolls his eyes every time (she can’t see it from her position but she’s known him long enough to know his eye-rolling sigh). She’ll wrap her arms loosely around his neck, leaning against his back, and press her lips to the top of his head.
This is the only kiss he doesn’t protest. She think it’s because he’s pretending he doesn’t feel it, but that’s fine, because she pretends she doesn’t give it. They don’t talk about these, because they’re strangely intimate and Natalie figures if he’s going to accept them without a fuss, she’s not going to mention it.
Hello everyone! I’m Doc. I chose that nickname because I have...a doctorate! And also many of my real life friends insist on calling me Doc, so I’m used to it. Haha. For safety/legal/ethical reasons, I don’t really go into the kind of work that I do, but I do love my work! I love talking about fiction. Sometimes I say too many cusses.
When did you get into the fandom and how did you stumble upon it?
I found the comic at the beginning of April of 2016. My answer to the second part of the question may be a bit TMI for some, but I don’t mind sharing it: I have hella premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD). I was scrolling through a PMDD blog to read some Relatable Posts, and I found the first comic. I read through the whole comic in one sitting. Then I read the rest of the blog, started reading fanfics and looking at other fans’ blogs, and then finally ended up making this blog a few weeks after finding the comic!
Who are your favorite characters/pairings?
Well, Natan, obviously. I’d say my favorite character is probably Lucifer. But I also love our girl Nat. Other characters I love: Anthea, Gabe, Raph, Zadkiel, Jophiel. (That’s not even close to everyone, but I had to stop or else I’d list almost the entire damn cast.) Other pairings: Ganthea, Graph, Raph/happiness, Anthea/life, you know...
Favorite moment in the comic?
I had the hardest time choosing one, but I think I’d have to go with Luce taking Nat to the beach. I’m a sucker for beach times. But then also when he was all happy after she used the contract… oh and when she told him she loved him… and then his face when he aged her up??? Okay I need to stop, moving on.
What is your biggest inspiration as far as your art/writing goes?
Usually, an idea occurs and I can’t get it out of my head until I purge it somehow. I have a whole list of fics and art piece descriptions that I haven’t had time to work on, but I just needed to write it down because it kept playing in my head over and over again. Another huge piece of that inspiration is the fandom, though! Everyone’s contributions are so warmly received by the rest of the fandom, that it makes me excited to try to find time to work on this stuff.
What would you say is your favorite piece that you’ve done so far?
For writing, it’s Feeling Yourself Disintegrate. The first fic I’ve ever written, and I’m still pretty proud of my lil fic there! Also fun fact: it’s based on a real place (and a real thing that I do sometimes), and I believe it’s actually kinda close to where Luce ended up taking Nat in canon. So uh, there’s that. For art, I really like the Pestilence that I posted recently. When I joined the fandom, I had just gotten licensed in my field, which meant that I hadn’t drawn anything for over a year. I feel like I’m just starting to get really comfortable with drawing, and the Pestilence piece felt good to draw.
What would you say is one of your favorite things to draw/write?
I definitely have a bunch of doodles of Lucifer. For non-SaM things, I’m fond of doodling weird-looking monsters, eyes, and people with exaggerated facial features. I’m still expanding my writing, but I get a lot of practice by writing down my dreams in as much detail as I can. I tend to have extremely vivid and bizarre dreams.
What do you think influences your art/writing style?
I’m very visual, so the desire to convey what I see in my mind’s eye very much influences how I write and why it takes me so long to finish a drawing. I like to read things that make me forget I’m reading, if that makes any sense. Sometimes you read stories that are so captivating that it almost seems like you’re watching a movie instead of reading a story because you can imagine it so clearly. That’s what I aim for when I write. In my senior year of high school, I had the fortune of having the same teacher for english and for media literature, so a lot of the things I learned from him in terms of both written storytelling and visual storytelling have stuck with me to this day.
What are some of your hobbies you enjoy?
I love makeup (my makeup blog is natantrash-makeup.tumblr,com), but I rarely wear it because I tend to create very elaborate looks. I either wear no makeup or something worthy of RuPaul’s Drag Race, haha. I also love to watch movies and TV shows and talk about them critically. In the past few months, I’ve also gotten into exercise. I do a lot of weight training and stationary bike (which I pair with the aforementioned TV and movies). I live alone, which means I’ve got to fend for myself food-wise, so I also got really into cooking and I enjoy trying new recipes.
Before joining SaM, what was a fandom you were part of and are there any fandoms you’re into outside of SaM?
Well, I literally grew up watching Star Trek, so I’ve kind of been a member of that fandom for my entire life. The first fandom I got into on my own was Lord of the Rings, starting in middle school. There are a lot of things that I’m a fan of, but don’t necessarily participate in the fandom a whole lot. Some of the more contemporary things that fall under that category are Voltron, Steven Universe, Lucifer, How to Get Away with Murder, Criminal Minds, just to name a few. Part of why I wanted to make a separate blog for SaM was because I felt that my main had gotten so cluttered with other fandomy things that I wanted to keep track of this one thing. Which is so funny because my main has been essentially abandoned, and I’m now on this blog 99% of the time.
Is there anything else you’d like the fandom to know about you or anything you’d like to say to the fandom as a whole?
I just love this fandom. I feel like I’m so new to it, yet everyone’s been so warm and welcoming from the beginning. I haven’t been witness to any BS, even when opinions differ. There’s just so much laughter in this fandom, and it’s really refreshing. Thank you so much for the opportunity to do one of these! I love you all, and please feel free to chat anytime!!
Please check out Doc’s art tag and show her some love!
Art tag: http://natantrash.tumblr.com/tagged/docs-art
Natan, "How can I warn you when my tongue turns to dust like we've discussed?/It doesn't mean that I don't care/It means I'm partially there/You're gonna need to be patient with me" (from "Please Be Patient with Me" by Wilco)
Lucifer’s hands curled into helplessfists at his sides as Natalie turned away from him, his previous words biting into her skin like bullets. He regretted the anger in his tone as soon as hespoke, and the words tasted like hot coals in his mouth when he threw them at herlike weapons.
I’m just a fuck up, Natalie. The sooner you realize I can’t beperfect like you, the better off we’ll all be.
His words weren’t fair, and he knew itas well as she did. He was projecting his anger onto her because she was asafe sounding board, someone he knew wouldn’t leave, but it was cruel to useher like that when she had been nothing but gentle with him, and endlesslysoft.
Before she could leave the small room,he reached a hand out to hold her in place, and when she turned to him, therewas anger in her eyes instead of sadness. She had no walls in place, and hecould see the raw emotion burning in her as clearly as the sun, but she didn’t pullaway from his touch.
Instead, she raised her voice, “I’mnot asking you to be perfect, Lucifer! I just want you to be open with me, I wantyou to be in the present with me. I don’t want you to be ruled by your past andI don’t know how to make you understand that I’m here for you.” He pulled herinto his chest, and he could hear her mumble against his skin, “I’m on yourside.”
Her confession burnt him from the inside out, and the truth of her words made him feel guilt as sharply as hot lashes against his skin.
“I’m sorry,” Lucifer mumbled intoNatalie’s hair, his face twisting in pain. “I’m sorry I’m not the man you wantme to be. I want to measure up and be what you deserve.”
Natalie pulled away from him then, theanger fading from her vivid eyes, replaced with gentle concern that had knititself into her forehead as she tried to speak, “Lucifer, I don’t –“
He cut her off gently, with a wave ofhis hand, “No, Natalie, I know. I know I’m not what you want, but, but just – justbe patient with me. Please, that’s all I ask.”
The plea in his voice was so evidentthat Natalie’s breath caught in her throat and her heart ached for him. She placedher palm against his chest, and felt his heart pounding tooquickly to be calm, and he took her hand in his own and raised it to his mouth,pressing a gentle kiss to her palm.
“Of course I’ll be patient,” Nataliesaid, her words breathless, but filled with something that tasted liketenderness, “But you are enough, Lucifer. You’re exactly the man I want you tobe.”
This got long and disgustingly sappy and I hate myself so read more at your own risk:
As much as I’d love to keep this as “had” and say I’m over it at this point, I’ve actually only had one real crush in my life that wasn’t a mini-infatuation based on appearances or 2-second conversations and that crush is still very much alive and kicking. So, I’m gonna tweak it just a bit.
Dear person I have a crush on,
I would like to start out by apologizing for my lack of control over my own feelings since you are absolutely the least available person for me. The whole you having a girlfriend, the whole no-inter-workplace-relations, the whole conversation we had about past employees crushing on you and it kinda put you off… Haha, yikes, I can really pick ‘em can’t I?
And who knows, maybe I just like you because you give me attention and that’s kinda new coming from guys. But maybe I like you because you make me laugh a lot and honestly? You’re not that funny, despite what you may think. Maybe I like you because make me eager to come into work just to get to talk to you, even if all we do is banter and pick each other apart. Maybe I like you because your smile makes me smile and when it’s directed at me it makes my heart beat faster. Maybe I like you because you have the honest-to-god most boring major but you make me wanna listen when you talk about it and get excited. Maybe I like you because I’ve never been good at talking to people and it’s just so goddamn easy to talk to you and it has been since day one.
But it doesn’t matter why or how or when I started liking you — I know better. Which is why you’ll never hear it from me. But damn if I could tell you. If I could tell you about how my pulse picks up a bit when you stand next to me, or how I wanna get dressed up for you, or how my opinion’s changed from when you told me your girlfriend wanted to see you all the time and I told you she needed to chill and now I get her, or any countless number of the other things…
