Absolutely unhinged Night at the Museum headcanons my sister and I have
When Teddy's bored, he'll jump off the roof of the Museum. Nobody knows he does this; he thinks it's hilarious
Teddy also does TikTok dances on the roof for his secret TikTok account
The mammoth and ostrich are bffs and cause more trouble than Dexter
Larry has a very strict no killing rule. This came as a great disappointment to the whole Museum. Attila, Ahk, the Romans, the cowboys, the Mayans, Teddy (he likes to hunt the animals), the Vikings, the lions, the Civil War dudes, Rexy, the Neanderthals, etc. Basically, everybody and their mother in this museum likes killing. They collectively decided to keep doing it but keep it a secret from Larry
Sacajawea is a unit of measurement for the miniatures, both of distance and of volume. They commonly say, "It's one Sacajawea away" or "It was so loud, even Sacajawea could hear it." Nobody else understands what this means
At one point, the mayor in the Wild West was murdered by an evil robot who took his place. When the townspeople found out months later, they killed the robot. This is unknown to the rest of the Museum
There is a miniature of Mark Antony and he is convinced that Ahkmenrah is Cleopatra. He'll follow Ahk around professing his love and writing him teeny tiny love letters. Ahk has no clue who he is and is quite frankly running out of patience with him
The Romans like to clog the drains of the sinks in the bathrooms and turn them into bathhouses
Teddy is banned from playing/hosting couple games or competitions because he gets way too competitive and makes everyone else feel bad about their relationships
Sacajawea once "borrowed" Luis' gun and shot Clark because he was getting on her nerves (Fifty-four years is a long time to be trapped with two idiots having the same argument every night. She deserves to crash out)
Ahkmenrah isn't allowed to eat anything because he doesn't have a stomach. Despite this, he still gets hungry and begs Larry to let him eat. Larry refuses even though it breaks his heart because he doesn't want his body to rot from the inside out. Ahk still sneaks food from the breakroom tho; if the curators did a CT scan of him rn, they would find fruit, coffee, and Craft mac and cheese
Nobody knows about the security cameras except Larry; he uses this as his secret weapon
Sacajawea runs a secret miniature black market. She orders things off of Amazon and sells it to them for change they find on the floor. She has become a quite skilled engineer and welds them little phones for a dollar
Ahk likes to raid the lost and found and use the clothes to sneak out; he is only seventeen after all. He's gone to Shake Shack, different clubs, and one of Nicky's parties at Larry's house. He's not very good at navigating the subway though and has Nicky call him Ubers
Rexy will "bark" if there's someone at the door. Most of the time it's just Larry but if another exhibit sneaks out, he'll "bark" if they try to use the front door
Octavius and Ahkmenrah have kissed exactly once
Octavius is afraid of horses
